CALEXICO, California – The president’s first and most conceited daughter, Ivanka, was campaigning for her daddy out in Calexico, California.
She was asked about the fact that her father lies more times per day than the entire populations of France, Finland, and Fort Worth put together.
Ivanka shook her head and replied that the Republicans do not care if her daddy tells 1,000 lies a day, or if he grabs women by their hoohas; just as long as he doesn't say a friggin word against the NRA.
After the event, Ivanka, who swears that she has not had breast augmentation surgery, spoke with Rufus Basquette of RumorLand News.
He asked her about the photos that had recently appeared in a supermarket tabloid that showed her posing erotically in a very skimpy Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit.
Ivanka turned as red as a tomato, and replied, “Look, I saw that news publication yesterday when I was shopping for milk, bread, eggs, and tampons, and I will admit that the woman in the photo does look a little like me.”
Ivanka brushed the sweat from her brow, and said, “But I assure you that the woman in the tabloid photo is not me." She paused and added "The long-haired blonde in the photo clearly has three freckles on her ass, whereas I only have one.”
(IN RELATED NEWS – According to The San Francisco Nightly Herald, President Trump has said that he has a photo of Ivanka dressed as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader that he carries in his wallet.)