Man Discovers Time Travel and Finds It Isn't What He Expected

Written by Paxton Quigley

Friday, 28 February 2020

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Joachim and his Arschloch chums

A man has unexpectedly and unwittingly discovered how to travel through time.

Joachim Arschloch, who lives with his ageing mother in the small Austrian town of Schweinwank on the River Danube, has recounted how he made his discovery to The Spoof's science editor, Jared Bushwhacker.

"Every evening I drink some hot chocolate, put on my jammies, I lie down on my bed and then something strange happens. I close my eyes and when I open them again it's the next day. Amazing. I think I'm onto something here and I didn't realise that time travel could be so easy. I've been doing it for years but I haven't yet worked out how to go back to the past. That's disappointing.

"Mutti thinks I've got a screw loose, but there's no denying it's time travel."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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