Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 13 February 2020

image for Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus
But, I ask you, when do you ever get shit on your face?

A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task.

In Western countries - the civilized ones, at least - a visit for a sit-down toilet stop is usually followed by a wiping of the anus with some soft-ply tissue paper, in order that fecal matter can be removed from the site, and that one's underwear does not become smudged with detritus.

In Asian countries, however, bumwad is a luxury many people and organizations cannot afford, and, anyway, is considered less hygienic than spraying a jet of cold water up your arse.

Moys Kenwood, 56, discussed the issue, one day, with an Asian collleague, as you do. Kenwood told the man how ridiculous the bum gun was, laughing at the spectacle of holding it around his rear end, and firing the jet at his nipsy.

"Toilet paper is far more civilized," he said, "and using a water cannon on your bumhole seems a little odd."

But the Asian colleague countered this by asking:

"If you got shit on your face, would you use tissue paper or water to get rid of it?"

There was a long, contemplative silence, which still persists.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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