Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 25 February 2020

image for Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism
Time has run out for money

Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe.

The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearly 3,000 people worldwide, and has had a severely debilitating effect on world stock markets, sending prices of stocks crashing through the floor.

In the US, the Dow Jones, the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq all made significant losses, as did the UK's FTSE 100 share index, and in Italy, the Milan stock market was near to collapse.

In Japan, the Nikkei Index disappeared.

Senior financial correspondent with TheSpoof.com, Myke Woodson, said:

"Things are serious. God has obviously become so angry with the unfairness and inequality that has sprung from capitalism and capitalist societies, that He's decided 'enough is enough', and wrought a pestilence to end all pestilences on the world."

He 'explained':

"Once the stock market crashes, and stocks become worthless, money loses all meaning, and it quickly becomes worthless. A system of bartering might possibly supercede it - you know, "I'll give you some of my carrots for some of your potatoes" - or, it's back to Natural Law, and 'every man for himself'. Fairer all round."

God was unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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