Six-Year-Old Reflects on His Time Inside

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 16 February 2020

image for Six-Year-Old Reflects on His Time Inside
Chucky won't forget the small kindnesses extended to him by his prison guards. "Mommy gave me a cupcake."

Thanks to weeks of unremitting thunderstorms, six-year-old Nashville resident, Chucky Dillon, was sentenced to consecutive time inside, without even time off for good behavior.

"You really start missing the sunshine," said Chucky. "I would have given five dollars just to see some blue sky."

During his period of incarceration, Chucky suffered the additional humiliation of having his special dietary requests denied. "All I wanted was apple pie and ice cream," he said. "I even said I would help bake."

Unfortunately, kitchen duty was not in the cards for Chucky. Reconciled to LEGO-organizing obligations, he was reprimanded mere minutes into his task for becoming distracted by playing. "It was yucky," he said.

That being said, Chucky did express appreciation for the occasional small kindness extended to him by his prison guards. "One day after dinner, Mommy gave me a cupcake," he said. "And Daddy let me ride on his shoulders, and then spun me around. That was fun."

Even so, now that the sun is finally out again, Chucky aims never to have to do that much straight time inside again. "Never ever ever," he pledged, clearly committed to avoiding recidivism. "Ever."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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