Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Hates

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 20 February 2020

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Maguire has had about as much as he can take of the silliness

As the number of negative 'online' incidents involving football players continues to rise, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has given his backing to those who feel they no longer wish to use social media, and have deleted their accounts, saying that he, himself, has stopped reading

Maguire, 26, who joined United in an £80million deal last summer, said that he used to spend time on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok and the like, but has had to 'cut back' recently.

He said:

"I used to do social media, but not now. I also used to read The Spoof, but, since they started posting all those stupid, made-up stories about me, I've had to knock it on the head."

Other United players such as Paul Pogba and Marcus Rashford have suffered racist abuse online, but, with Maguire, it's been a question of silly, prankish stories, rather than full-on nastiness. He went on:

"It's been things like me playing for a Sunday League team, or mincing around the Arndale, or someone shitting in my boots, or me and Fern getting warned by the police for annoying the neighbours with our Christmas Carol singing. Harmless stuff like that, but it's never-ending."

He concluded by saying:

"I've had about as much as I can take of the silliness. Me and Fern have decided to go offline, and watch a lot more Coronation Street' instead. LOL."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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