WASHINGTON, D.C. - Reports coming out of the White House are that first lady Melania Trump is not a very happy camper.
An unnamed White House insider said that Melania has recently been looking at photographs of Trump Tower and she suddenly breaks out in uncontrollable sobs.
The statuesque Melania, who stands 5 foot 11, has reportedly lost a lot of weight due to all the stress. Donald Trump Jr. said that he thinks that his step-mother still looks stunningly sexy in her Daisy Duke short shorts.
Melania has said that she misses all of the daily hustle and bustle of the Big Apple. She remarked that she misses the endless sound of sirens.
Melly, as her BFF Meghan Markle calls her, pointed out in her Slovenian accent, “I juss want tu be back in my own jumongous bed and tu bees right nexted tu Giovanni’s Pizza-To-Go, who always he gives to me a fisteen percent deescount.”
When she was asked what the president has to say about her desire to move back into Trump Tower, her eyes got the size of ping pong balls and she said, “Lookie here ju hokey pokey guy, I dun’t geeve a rat’s ass what dat man he teenks. Eeef I wants tu go back tu New Jork, I can goes and Donald he can geeve a beeg keys to my sexy Slovenian ass jes?”
IN CLOSING – Melania reportedly told Meghan Markle that if Trump gives her a hard time about her wanting to return to New York, she will show him the very intimate photos of him and Sean Hannity that Stormy Daniels mailed to her last year.