WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady, Melania Trump, who is 49, caused quite a stir at son Barron’s recent soccer match. The first soccer mom showed up at The Pele Commemorative Soccer Complex wearing a tiny sports bra and a pair of tight-fitting Daisy Duke short shorts.
Pistachio Custer with Sports Balls Illustrated said that the referees actually had to stop the game as the First Lady made her way up the stands. One of the coaches noted that the tremendously loud sound of the wolf whistles actually drowned out the noise made by a 747 jet that was flying overhead.
The First Son, Barron Trump, was visibly embarrassed as his teammates and coaches began giving him high fives, fist bumps, and money. Barron's team, The D.C. Beavers, defeated the Bethesda Emus 6-1.
Every time that the First Lady got up to cheer her son's team, hundreds of cameras could be heard clicking. During the game Melania spent quite a bit of time signing autographs, and even signed a security guard’s forehead.
Custer noted that the food vendors gave Mrs. Trump free hot dogs, free popcorn, free pretzels, a free ribeye steak, and six free pickles. When asked what she thought about the soccer match, she smiled, and said, "I did not see anyone make a home run, but I really enjoyed myself oh so too very much."
(IN CLOSING – Secret Service agents commented that Mrs. Trump graciously signed 214 autographs at the soccer match, including a man’s nose, a grandmother’s tibia, and a 19-year-old female’s tramp stamp.)