The Queen And Prince Philip To Divorce

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 15 February 2020

image for The Queen And Prince Philip To Divorce
Who could have predicted it?

There was a shock announcement from Buckingham Palace tonight, when it was revealed that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, and her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, are to divorce after 72 years of marriage.

The Queen, 93, and Prince Philip, 97, wed in 1947, amidst an incredible show of pomp and ceremony, but their marriage has been full of its ups and downs.

Recent events such as Prince Andrew's relationship with a girl he can't remember, and Prince Harry and his wife Meghan leaving the Royal circle in an attempt to become 'normal', haven't helped.

Speaking through her solicitor, the Queen said:

"We've grown apart. There are too many irreconcilable differences."

The Duke is currently convalescing in his bedroom after an accident, last week, involving his sit-on lawnmower and a peasant.

That's 'peasant', not 'pheasant'.

He said:

"Good riddance to the silly old bag! I'll trade her in for a new one."

Despite the obvious animosity, the Queen said she hopes there can be an amicable settlement, and that the pair can remain friends.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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