Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Turn on a Dime

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 17 February 2020

image for Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Turn on a Dime
Justin Cooley plans to tackle his self-defeating resistance to change, especially that of the pocket variety.

One day during his lunch break, Justin Cooley noticed a thin silver coin lying on a sidewalk in downtown Nashville - and was at an utter loss as to how to respond.

"I know you're supposed to turn on a dime," he said. "But how the heck do you do it?"

According to Justin, he meticulously searched the coin, including its flip side, for an on-and-off switch, but could find none.

"Then it occurred to me that maybe that expression was figurative," said Justin. "Maybe they meant it sexually."

Glancing over his head to make sure that no one was listening, he flashed the dime a coy glance and offered up a suggestive remark or two, but it remained unmoved. Unable to coin the right phrases, Justin realized that trying to romantically "turn on" a monetary token had been a silly idea, anyway.

"Everyone knows that money can't buy love," he said. "So how could love possibly influence money?"

At last, unsure what else to do, Justin pocketed the dime for safekeeping until he could figure out how exactly to turn it on - although his hopes for doing so aren't high.

"I've never been good with money," he said. "In fact, I'm down to this last little guy in my pocket. I may need to ask my brother if he can spare one."

And in the meantime, Justin plans to tackle his self-defeating resistance to change, especially that of the pocket variety.

"I've gotten a little stuck in my ways," he admitted. "What can I say? I'm working on it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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