There were 253 spoof news stories published in November 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Mickey Mouse Is 90 Years Old!
And there's a big party in the works. All the main Disney characters will be there, including Goofy and Pluto. Lawrence Welk, Mickey's favorite bandleader, has gotten a one-evening earthpass to return from the dead and provide his champagne mu...
Read full storyBill Cosby is violently attacked in prison
Federal law enforcement officials believe famed rapist Bill "Huxtable" Cosby was beaten mercilessly in his groin area with a "lock-in-the-sock", in a grisly assault inside his prison cell, multiple law enforcement officials briefed on the case told G...
Read full storyScientists announce first underwearable smartass phone
San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...
Read full storyMan Invents Breakthrough Contraption That Assist Old People Who Are Always Forgetting Shit
Omaha, Nebraska - A lifelong resident here, has created a breakthrough invention for aging adults with memory troubles. Philip Myers, 63, claims The Invention will change people's lives. "It happens to all of us old folks," states Myers. "We're si...
Read full storyThe Spoof's Black Friday Deal Faces Customer Backlash
Customers caused uproar when The Spoof's Black Friday bargain buy turned out not to be a bargain after all. On a first come first served basis from midnight on Friday, The Spoof's offer of a free subscription to the first million customers was soon b...
Read full storyWoman Kicks Man In Gonads
There was a painful end to a short conversation on the London Tube this morning, when a man who had tried to chat up a female fellow passenger received a kick in the gonads for his trouble. John O'Gape was travelling on the Northern Line having bo...
Read full storyMan Tells Wife He Has No Idea Why Amazon Sent Giant Black Item To Him
We have all, at some time or other in our lives, received mail that was intended for someone else, and that's what one man told his wife yesterday, when a parcel from internet mail order company, Amazon, was delivered to his Los Angeles home, contain...
Read full storyUS Warships On Way To Sentinel Island To Retrieve The Body Of John Allen Chau
US President, Donald Trump, has told a press conference at the White House that the murder of the American citizen, John Allen Chau, by North Sentinel islanders was "unacceptable", and that his body should be handed over immediately if the savages do...
Read full storyPresident Trump To Transition To A Woman
Donald J. Trump, leader of the free world, announced today that he would undergo surgery to remove his naughty bits and replace them with kinder gentler naughty bits, those of a broad! The president was quoted as saying, "This whole Me Too movemen...
Read full storyTrump Has Been President For 666 Days Today - Symbolic?
US President, Donald J. Trump, has been in the job 666 days today, 16 November, having taken office on 20 January 2017, and has been busy living up to his 'devilish' reputation by hinting that Robert Mueller, in charge of the 'Russia investigation',...
Read full storyTrump And God Agree To Disagree
Supreme Being and Ruler of the Universe, Donald Trump, met its creator, God, this morning in a lively round of discussions on current events, but, as neither was prepared to give ground on key issues, a stalemate was declared, and they adjourned the...
Read full storyTrump to Print More Money to Pay Off the National Debt
Mar-A-Lago, Florida Upon hearing that his tax cut bill has added another trillion dollars to the national debt, President Trump called a press conference to address the National Debt. "The Fake News outlets are all complaining and lying about me i...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Polari as spoken by Kenneth Williams
"Ooh! Isn't he bold?" as Julian and Sandy would say to "Mr. 'Orne" in the heyday of Polari, or the old British gay slang. Julian and Sandy's use of Polari on the BBC radio comedy "Round the Horne" introduced Polari to a mass audience, identifying them as gay to those in the know. Round the Horne's use of it ultimately led to Polari's near-demise as a means of communication between gay men. I su...
Read full storySinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard
Sinéad O'Connor, the Irish singer who recently renounced everything about herself, and then converted to Islam, has grown a Muslim-style beard. Beards amongst Muslim men are requisite, defining 'manliness', and are seen as imitating Muhammad, but...
Read full storyPatriots Award Naming Rights to Amazon
Boston, Ma - The New England Patriots have awarded team naming rights to Amazon.com. The team formerly known as the Pats will now be called the Amazons. All players are required to take on Amazon as their last name. Quarterback Tom Amazon initial...
Read full storyVaping Soon To Be A Thing Of The Past
Vaping - the practice of 'electronic smoking' - is shortly to be a 'thing of the past', according to researchers at a company in Dublin. Electronic vapers are viewed by many people as disgusting devices through which 'flavored vapor' is sucked int...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys To Erect A Jeff Rohrer Statue Outside The AT&T Stadium
Reacting to the surprising news that one of their former players, Jeff Rohrer, is to marry a man, the Dallas Cowboys have signalled their support for him by revealing plans that they are to erect a statue of the former linebacker outside their AT&...
Read full storyBelfast Marathon Sprint Finish Ruined As Runner Slips On Dog Shit
There was real drama in the finishing stretch in the Belfast Marathon today, when, coming into the final 100 yards of the race, three men still in contention entered into a neck-and-neck sprint finish, only for one of them to bow out 10 yards from th...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Dave Lee Travis' Hairy Monster
He always liked to boast about it on live radio and he did so for years. How he got away with it for so long, nobody knows but at some point the Hairy Monster metamorphosed into the Hairy Cornflake. Maybe it had become small brown and crispy until introduced to cold liquid. According to Botham Squab (sic) in "My Days Tending the Hairy Cornflake" "The hair prefix was, of course, down to DLT’s l...
Read full storyEntire programming team at MacroHard blow their legs clean off
Hospitals of Washington State - Dr. Lee G. Bender of Washuck Hospital spoke to reporters after all hospitals in Washington were suddenly filled with programmers that had blown off their legs. “MacroHard called for emergency assistance about 11:00...
Read full storyNASA InSight Probe Finds Mars Is Made Of Chocolate
The US space agency, NASA, has released the unexpected and astonishing results of a probe sent to Mars at the end of last year to collect samples of the planet's inner crust - Mars is made of chocolate! The InSight probe drilled through the Red Pl...
Read full storySinéad O'Connor Rejected By Islam
Sinéad O'Connor, the controversial and attention-seeking Irish singer, who has converted to Islam, and said that she no longer wants to live amongst white people 'as long as she lives', has been told to go and fuck herself by Muslims. O'Connor -...
Read full storyLatest Chinese health 'tsunami' heading towards the US & UK; pee and bugs!!
Chinese top business managers have involved scientists in the quest to extract even more energy from their billions of workers because the Chinese economy is lurching downwards rapidly! To put a 'sting' in the tail of the work force, scientists ha...
Read full storyTiger Woods v. Phil Mickelson Weigh-in As It Happened
Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson created a sensation yesterday as they attended the weigh-in for their November 23 match that has been dubbed 'The Match'. As the two stood eye-to-eye, stripped bare to the waist, the atmosphere was so thick with tens...
Read full storyTiger Woods And Phil Mickelson To Dine Together On Thanksgiving
Tiger Woods and 'Big' Phil Mickelson are to put their golfing differences on hold, and will spend Thanksgiving together next Thursday, during a televised 'intimate dinner for two'. The pair, who, on Friday, 23 November, will tee off in the eagerly...
Read full storyJeff Rohrer To Marry A Person With A Penis
The former Dallas Cowboys linebacker, Jeff Rohrer, has spoken out after becoming the first NFL player, past or present, to get married to a human with a cock. Rohrer, who played for the Cowboys alongside such tough guys as Tony Dorsett, Ed 'Too Ta...
Read full storyBautista bugged by namesake
It seems safe (at first) to assume that entomologist Boob Anders is not a Jose Bautista fan. The scientist, who works for the Canadian Museum Au Naturel, gave the former Toronto Blue Jays star a dubious honor, the “distinction” of naming a bug after...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Will Not Only Kneel, But Will 'Spangle Your Banner'
Reacting to the news that one of the cheerleaders of the San Francisco 49ers had 'taken the knee' during the playing of the national anthem on Thursday, the cheerleading coach of the Dallas Cowboys has said that her girls will match that - and more!...
Read full storyBing uses "underhanded" ruse to gain user traffic
Desperate for any responses from the public that could indicate interactive participation, Bing has initiated an underhanded “fake news” feature, calling it, in wee letters the size of which makes them nearly impossible to read, “This Day,” followed...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Vow To Protect Border
As the seven migrant caravans move ever closer to the US/Mexico border, President Donald Trump received a major boost earlier today, when the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders vowed to 'stand their ground' in the faces of the invaders, and to dance to the...
Read full storyIt's Good News Week! Jaggedone launches non-fake (bullshit) internet radio station!
Infamous, global prankster, genius, and spreader of 'good news' not 'fake news', Jaggedone, has just launched his latest adventure on internet radio (that's fake BTW) called; 'It's Good News Week!! Sick to death of all the bad news, and nearly on...
Read full storyFans react to disparaging remarks about Stan Lee: "It's clobbering time!"
Has-been transgender "celebrity" Bill Mayor recently tried to change careers, trading in (some would say trading on) his dubious career as a “comedienne” by becoming a literary critic. After disparaging television comedy as “fit only for kids and...
Read full storyPolice Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals
North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...
Read full storyExtraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid
Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and fle...
Read full storyWetherspoons Share Price Tumbles as Balham Pub Closes. Brexit "Not to Blame"
Trading in shares of old gits' pub chain JD Wetherspoons was suspended today after their value crashed on news that one of its flagship pubs The Moon Under Water in the London borough of Balham had been closed without notice. Although it was named...
Read full storyScientific Community Makes One Last Attempt to Cure Trump
Science Town, USA Scientists gathered together today, a much smaller crew than the ones who originally gathered a year and 8 months ago met and discussed ways to cure narcissism. "If anything, he's gotten worse. He actually thinks his kids, especi...
Read full storyThe new Dealthy Arlines will feature a poop deck
Atlanta, GA - (Dogged News) Spokesman Roevier K. Knign for Dealthy Airlines, announced today at 8:32 AM, a new super-saver airfare rate for animal lovers. The new flat rate of fifty dollars will fly you AND your large dog anywhere Dealthy flies.
Read full storyWolfe: no longer WHCA's comedienne in sheep's clothing
D-list has-been “comedienne” Michelle Wolfe, who was born, some say, in Hershey Highway, Pennsylvania, in a back alley between a brothel and a homeless campsite, is incensed (or “pissed,” as she says) that the White House Correspondents Association (...
Read full storySpoof Classifieds- Position Available, Climate Science Editor for Right Wing Blog Site
New York - A conservative blog site has an immediate opening for the staff position of Climate Science Editor, or as we internally refer to it, Anti-Climate Science Editor. The successful applicant will have responsibility to manage our site's eff...
Read full storyAlleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime
Richard Puttup-Yur Dukes, allegedly an All-Tuna, Pennsylvania, man was allegedly arrested for alleged cruelty to animals after he allegedly punched a police officer in the face. The officer was allegedly responding to a call concerning Dukes's all...
Read full storyMan Saw Woman With Legs Hairier Than His Own
There has probably been a time in everyone's life when we've been unfortunate enough to have seen a woman with hairy legs, but nothing in one man's experience had prepared him for the sight he beheld whilst traveling on public transport in Hull recen...
Read full storySouthwest Airlines Gate Clerk, Herself, Had A Strange Name
The Southwest Airlines employee who laughed at the name of a 5-year-old girl checking-in for a flight with her mother, herself has a birth name which is far from conventional, it has been reported. When Abcde (pronounced Ab-city) Redford, 5, stood...
Read full storyCalifornia Fires Are God's Retribution - Trump
The wildfires that have raged through California are merely God's retribution, says US President, Donald Trump, in his regular morning tweet. The president said that, although any loss of life is, indeed, a cause for sadness, the choices people ma...
Read full storySinéad O'Connor New Album A Cry For Help?
Irish singist, Sinéad O'Connor, last released an album in 2014, and has been busy being controversial since then. Now, however, she resurfaces in her own inimitable style with her newest offering, 'Buy Me - PLEASE!' O'Connor has never been a 'happ...
Read full storyRoddy McDowall Was A Chimp
Secret US military medical files revealed to the public this week under the Freedom of Information Act, show that the being known to humans as actor 'Roddy McDowall' was nothing more than an oversized chimpanzee. The actor passed away in 1998, and...
Read full storyMan Tries To Improve His German Language Skills By Watching 'Kolberg' (1945)
A man who wanted to improve his rudimentary German language skills, has told how he watched a 1945 World War II propaganda film in order to do so. Myke Woodson, 55, was left with 'nothing to do' during a four-hour break at the school where he work...
Read full storyFace Transplant Goes Wrong, And Woman Ends Up Looking Like Bill Cosby
A doctor in California has been severely criticised after a face transplant operation he performed went completely tits-up, and left the patient wishing she had never bothered. Cameron Feylyer, 26, one of life's losers, tried to take her own life...
Read full storyWorld Population Falling Due To LGBT Tolerance
The population of the world - known as the 'World Population' - is set to decrease rapidly in the future, due, not to environmental issues, disease, potential pandemics, drought or famine, but to the bland acceptance of issues concerning human sexual...
Read full storyMan Receives Death Threat Over Narcissistic Material
A man who was accused of being overly-narcissistic on a satirical news website, has received death threats threatening him with death, I can reveal. Myke Woodson, 55, said he had also been accused not only of being overly-narcissistic, but overtly...
Read full storyChocolate bar lands on Mars!
After months of travelling through outer space, propelled in a can of high-energy, red Bull-shit, a chocolate bar in a red tin-can, has landed successfully on planet Mars! Martians, with no ears, approaching the strange object having not seen 200...
Read full storyHail wreaks havoc at golf world cup in Melbourne
The opening rounds of the world cup of golf were brought to a close early following a flurry of unseasonable hail. Golf-ball sized chunks of ice rained down on the greens, hindering the players in their game and seriously injuring one of those guy...
Read full storyBrexit Couple To Divorce
The government's inability to come up with a firm plan for Brexit, and the uncertainty for the future this has brought, are being cited as "contributory factors" in the break-up of a Berkshire couple's marriage. Lee and Ramona Foater have been mar...
Read full storyRapper Forgot Words To Song, So Just Kept Improvising With Ever More Tenuous Rhymes
A top US rap artist has won dozens of new fans, after he rescued himself from a potentially career-ending embarrassment during a live internet concert, when he forgot his words. The rapper, Grizzly Muthafucka (not real name), was onstage in Los An...
Read full storyThe Word Queen Elizabeth Hates
It has been revealed, by secret palace sources, that Queen Elizabeth II dislikes the word, shhhhh: pregnant. Not actually being pregnant, but just the word pregnant. The Queen has been pregnant four times. Her four children have been pregnant eig...
Read full storyBucks v. Suns Basketball Game Was Enthralling For Spectators
Spectators at the basketball game between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Phoenix Suns had a right old rollicking time yesterday, with players on both teams wearing cool-looking vests and baggy shorts, and displaying superb skill and ability in the art o...
Read full storyScientists: Human ancestors and a guy named Dennis "mate with anything vaguely human"
In the past ten years, a successful attempt to sequence the genome of Neanderthals revealed that most modern humans carry 2-4% Neanderthal DNA, indicating our human ancestors bred with their ancient cousins. Further scientific research into a fin...
Read full storyEugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket
Renowned blond tennis star, Eugenie Bouchard, is completely enjoying the sun and breezes at Richard Branson’s Necker Island. Currently underway, there is what is known as “the world’s sexiest tennis tournament.” On her second day on the island,...
Read full storyThe Apprentice Week 206, Record Viewing Figures for The Brothels
BBC TV's never ending saga The Apprentice struck TV gold this week when a special late night episode for over 18s beat the viewing figures of its failing flagship show Strictly Come Dancing. The nation was tucked up on the sofa in its pyjamas with ho...
Read full storyMohammed bin Salman Is A Compulsive Liar, Says CIA
CIA officials working on the murder of the Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, have said that the slaying was organised by the Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman, and that his attempts to cover this up amounts to lying. The C...
Read full storyMan Ate Dead Fly, Thinking It Was A Raisin
A man from Hull has revealed how he made a glaring error, and ate a fly one morning with his breakfast, thinking it was a raisin on his Fruit 'n' Fibre. Myke Woodson, 55, had purchased the 750g box of breakfast cereal from the 24-hour Tesco supers...
Read full storyAnne Hegerty Is The Spitting Image Of The Governess From 'The Chase'
Viewers of ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' were jamming the broadcaster's switchboard last night after becoming emotional over the heartwarming performance of a contestant named Anne Hegerty who, unfortunately, said the viewers, was also t...
Read full storyAl Nino of Smallville, California, Quits Facebook as Ocean Temperatures Rise
"Not again" said California resident, Mr Al Nino, today as he deleted his Facebook and Twitter accounts and cut off his phone and internet access. "I've had enough of this shit and I'm going into hiding." Mr Nino's anxiety is due to the news from...
Read full storySpoof Boss To Introduce New Rules About Site Usage
The owner of a satirical news website has reacted to criticism of some of the writers on his site by bringing in new legislation to curb their fun. Mark Lowton, boss of TheSpoof.com, answered complaints from some readers yesterday about the legiti...
Read full storyBuffalo Bills Fans Put Their Poor Season Down To Various Factors
The Buffalo Bills, the team that came to dominate the AFC East during the 1990s, culminating in four straight Superbowl appearances - all of them defeats - have become a shadow of their former selves, and everyone has differing opinions on why that i...
Read full storyTrump Missed WW1 Memorial Service "To Request Asylum"
The White House has been forced to deny that US "President" Donald Trump was visiting Paris' Russian embassy in an attempt to gain political asylum when he missed a World War One memorial event on Saturday. His non-appearance has led to a critical ba...
Read full storySaudi X-rays Show Khashoggi Body Parts Smuggled Out In Hit Team’s Tummies
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a previously copyrighted story that appeared on these pages, Saudi officials had dismissed the allegation that the team that assassinated Mr. Khashoggi in their Consulate In Turkey disposed of him by dismembering him and then s...
Read full storySerena Williams Went Way Too Far With Umpire
Tennis star, Serena Williams, has been adjudged to have 'gone too far" by another tennis star, Roger Federer, over her outrageous behaviour in her recent match against yet another tennis star, this time the sexy up-and-coming Japanese chick, Naomi Os...
Read full storyWoman Peeled Banana In A Suggestive Manner
A woman travelling on a train in northern England, was witnessed peeling a banana in a suggestive, erotic and provocative manner, claims a man, who might have got it wrong. Heiki Bauer, 19, a German student studying at the University of Hull, was...
Read full storyPubic Hairs Discovered In Bathroom Plughole
A man and his wife had a horrifying experience whilst staying at a hotel in the Thai beach resort of Pattaya, when they made an astonishing discovery in the bathroom - a previous occupant's pubic hairs! Myke Woodson, 53, had gone to the Apex Hotel...
Read full storyBill Cosby Appeals To Warden For Soap-On-A-Rope
Bill Cosby, the comedian-turned-rapist, who is serving between three and ten years in prison for his offences, is not enjoying his stay behind bars, it has been reported. The former funnyman has tried very hard to conform to the prison regime, but...
Read full storyMan reads YouTube comments
Geoff Oldman, 65, of Minneapolis, was shocked today after reading the comments below a video on YouTube. The pensioner did not have a lot of experience with the internet, but had been sent a link to a video clip of a cat. After finding himself on...
Read full storyDick Pics Are Harmless, Says Former Model
A writer and former model has said that the new craze of 'Dick pics' that has taken social media by storm, is completely harmless, and that people shouldn't be "so sensitive". Stina Saucers said that she receives "four or five" every day, and that...
Read full story"Brexit Dividend" Souvenir Shops To Open in Channel Ports - A Spoof Exclusive
Secret plans have been seen by The Spoof which show how Brexit cheerleaders are planning to make vast profits from Brexit while ordinary British citizens will suffer the consequences. An offshore company by the name of Brexshit Haha based in the B...
Read full storyHeat Waves are Caused by Mismanagement of Sun, Confirms White House
After solving the mystery of why forest fires happen, the US administration has yet to share its views on the causes of heat waves. The statement hasn’t been issued yet, but we wanted to hear what the officials had to say. An anonymous employee of...
Read full storyMan's Worst Fears Confirmed
A man who had spent several decades constantly worrying about his future, had his very worst fears confirmed at the beginning of this week, when he finally dropped dead. Stanley Mann, 107, was in perfectly good health for a man of his age, took re...
Read full storyDoctor Who "I Still Use Men's Toilets"
"I just keep forgetting that I don't have a todger any more," said a despondent Doctor, "and, to be frank, I rather miss my old trouser snake." The new Doctor opened up to our Entertainment Editor, Paxton Quigley, in an exclusive interview. "It...
Read full storyBill Cosby's New Prison Reality Show
Convicted rapist, Bill Cosby, is to appear in a brand new reality show, taking place in the prison he is residing in. Some of the various episodes include: 1. Bill's convict friends surround him, and make him do Fat Albert routines for an hour str...
Read full storyMovie-Quoting Dumbass Who Stood Precariously On Railing Of Cruise Ship No Longer King of the Wo- Woah! Aaaaaaaaah!
10 miles west of the Florida Keys- A cliché- and movie-quoting dumbass, who thought he was being really original by re-enacting a famous scene from the movie Titanic, ceased to be king of the world on Friday, when he slipped from the railing of the C...
Read full storyTV Review: It's Organised Crime Week On The Apprentice!
At the start of this week's episode, Laird Shergar addressed the remaining candidates from the back of Derek Trotter's van: "It's an unknown fact that 25 Squillion quid is lost each year to the black economy," explained Lady Shagger. "These crimin...
Read full storyKing Arthur Returns thanks to Brexit
King Arthur, the ancient king and knight of legend, has returned from his slumber on the Isle of Avalon, according to witnesses. The legend tells that Arthur will return when his country is in direst need, and, according to some, it has actually...
Read full storyNashville Man Stops Fighting Loneliness and Finds a New Best Friend
After a lifetime of battling his chronic and persistent loneliness, Ben Harris of Nashville, Tennessee, decided stop fighting and instead embrace it – and ended up finding a new best friend. “I been alone my whole life,” said Ben, whose father dis...
Read full storySecret audio on White House bed post alarms staff and brings in Bob Woodward
Breaking: Discovery of a secret audio listening post in the Trump master bedroom at The White House has brought suspicion Mr. Erdogan, President of Turkey, may be behind the scheme. The FBI is investigating, and The Washington Post’s classic newsh...
Read full storyCelebs Go Dating Review
Excitement as the latest series of Celebs Go Dating reaches its climax! The show, where famous 'celebrities' have to use the properties of radioactive isotope Carbon-14 to correctly predict the age of prehistoric artefacts, is entering its final week...
Read full storyTrump Revokes White House Press Credentials Of The Spoof
The Spoof, the satirical news website that has consistently dragged the name and reputation of US President, Donald Trump, through the mud, has now suffered the same fate as CNN reporter, Jim Acosta, and had its White House press credentials revoked,...
Read full storyPlot To Khashoggi CNN’s Jim Acosta Disrupted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick
BILLINGSGATE POST: What could go wrong? Fifteen Saudis, inconspicuously dressed in white dishdashas and sporting keffiyehs, disembarked from a private jet which flew in and landed under the radar at a little used landing strip on the Eastern Shore...
Read full storyWhite House Security Breach As Jamal Khashoggi's Ghost Calls To See President Trump
Feathers were ruffled, and presidential security officers were on full alert this morning, after an apparition much resembling the forlorn figure of murdered Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, was seen lumbering along corridors at t...
Read full storyDeath Threat Would Never Have Been Carried Out, Says Man Who Sent Himself A Death Threat
A man who sent himself a death threat has told police he never meant to carry it out. The man, Myke Himself, 55, said that the threat was just a prank. Himself said he sent the death threat to himself "as a laugh", and that it was not meant to...
Read full storyTrump to issue rakes to the armed forces and National Guard
President Donald Trump this afternoon used his position as Commander-in-Chief to order the issue of 3 million rakes to all US service personnel, including the National Guard. Trump explained "I was talking last week to the Queen of Australia, Ange...
Read full storyTrump Ready To Forgive Mohammed bin Salman In Confession
US President, Donald Trump, says he is ready to offer forgiveness to Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman,the man who ordered the brutal, vicious and murderous slaying of the Washington Post contributor, Saudi Arabian dissident, Jamal Khashoggi, i...
Read full storyWhite people celebrate news Sinead O'Connor no longer wants to spend time with them
White people around the world are rejoicing at news Sinead O’Connor has decided she no longer wants “to spend time with white people again...Not for one moment, for any reason.” “Hooray, our long global nightmare is over!” shouted one ecstatic w...
Read full storyMohammed Bin Salman dream recovered and routed to the FBI
Mr. Bin Salman’s dream was recovered via Google’s new app DreemSeen2.0—available only to those who can afford it, as with himself. The app downloads to expensive phones, requiring a plug-into-earhole function when sleeping. A surgically impla...
Read full storyWhite House mulls celebrity swaps to honor global justice and dispel lingering odors
Mr. Trump and his staff are considering ways to bolster support toward re-election in 2020, following significant re-evaluation of the nation’s midterms. Despite Mr. Trump’s earlier claims of “victory,” increased ballot count shows continued Democ...
Read full storyMan Writes Spoof Story About Spoof Stories About Men Doing Stuff
A local man has written a Spoof story about the many Spoof stories recently appearing in The Spoof that are being written with headlines including the word Man. "I was inspired by all these stories with titles like Local Man Buys New Toaster, Man...
Read full storyMelania Trump Stages Successful Coup, Now Head of United States
Washington, DC In an unfolding story, it appears that Melania Trump, who had recently been flexing her wings, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on clothes and hotel rooms, and demanding firings and reprimands, has staged a successful coup.
Read full storyBrexit Agreement Reached!
In a stunning turnaround, and against all the odds, the EU and the UK government put aside their previous differences on the Brexit deal, and finally reached an agreement to suit both sides: they agreed to disagree. The two factions, who had previ...
Read full storyTrump Outraged At 49ers Cheerleader Who 'Knelt'
President Donald Trump has said he is outraged at the San Francisco 49ers cheerleader who 'took the knee' during the pre-game playing of the national anthem on Thursday. The cheerleader, who has not been identified, knelt during the Star Spangled...
Read full storyCNN To Give Jim Acosta A Pay Rise
CNN, the television news company that employs Jim Acosta, the man who had his White House reporting credentials revoked after a press conference controversy with US President, Donald Trump, have awarded their reporter a pay rise, for asking the right...
Read full storyInstances of married men having a stroke in bed is on the rise
Research showing a worrying rise in married 35-50 year old males has been published by members of a leading medical council. During the first 6 months of this year, there was a 20% increase in reports of men having had a stroke in bed, especially...
Read full storyLGBT Union To Organize Strikes If Employers Don't Do Exactly As It Says
The LGBTU, the union for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender people, has said that it will organize industrial action if employers from non-LGBTQI backgrounds don't do exactly as the LGBTU commands. And they're not messing about! The LGBTU says it...
Read full storyNASA to serve man with space laser
NASA scientists announce they will build a mega laser to alert alien life forms that they are welcome to visit Earth to "serve Man." A powerful laser is just the thing to announce our presence as a technological species in this arm of the galaxy.
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Willian, Rangers, Jordan Nobbs, Liverpool, Mourinho Shock
Barcelona have reopened transfer talks with representatives of Chelsea and Brazil winger Willian. Previous talks had collapsed over the player's desire to be known as "Will-I-An" on his shirt. After scoring Rangers' second goal at St Mirren on Sat...
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