Thursday, 1 November 2018

Geoff Oldman, 65, of Minneapolis, was shocked today after reading the comments below a video on YouTube. The pensioner did not have a lot of experience with the internet, but had been sent a link to a video clip of a cat.

After finding himself on the YouTube website, he clicked a few more links to look at some other suggested videos. One of those videos was taken from a US news programme where they discussed politics.

Mr Oldman then noticed that some people had left comments on the video, and curious to read them, he scrolled down.

At that moment, he stumbled into a wretched hive of scum and villainy. "It was like reading a conversation between a group of senile Nazis," he said.

He found comments about bizarre conspiracy theories such as 9/11 hoaxes and the flat earth. He read comments describing Hillary Clinton as a murderer, George Soros as a paedophile and Ted Danson as a transsexual.

He read about how the media lies about everything and the only trustworthy source of news is actually InfoWars. He read that the water supply in the US is actually laced with oestrogen to stop the people from being too aggressive, but which has the side effect of giving men bosoms, which also explains Ted Danson.

He read that the FBI were monitoring his internet usage and that just reading the YouTube comments could lead to his detention and torture.

At that point, Mr Oldman decided to switch off his computer and watch Oprah instead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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