Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 18 November 2018

image for Mohammed bin Salman Is A Compulsive Liar, Says CIA
"You, Sir, are a liar!"

CIA officials working on the murder of the Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, have said that the slaying was organised by the Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman, and that his attempts to cover this up amounts to lying.

The CIA has in its possession a recording of a telephone conversation between Mr Khashoggi and Khaled bin Salman - the Crown Prince's brother - who tells Mr Khashoggi to go to the consulate in Istanbul for his papers, and, crucially, guarantees his safety.

Sources who are close to the regime, and who know how things work in Saudi Arabia, say that this phone call could not have happened without the knowledge or authorisation of the Crown Prince.

"Indeed," said one source, "nobody farts in Riyadh without his approval."

One CIA spokesman said:

"The Crown Prince wouldn't know the truth if it was shat out of a camel's ass onto his face."

Another said:

"The guy wouldn't know the truth if it walked up behind him, and stuck its cock in his ass, and said "Good morning, Mr bin Salman! The truth here, to give you your daily poke!" The dirty pig!"

A third said:

"Crown Prince? More like 'Clown Prince'! Fucking liar!"

Quite why the regime is going to such lengths to blatantly lie about the murder is not clear. President Trump seems to regard the murder as a mere trifle, and has indicated that arms deals with Saudi Arabia will go ahead as planned. The world has all but forgotten about Khashoggi, and has moved on to 'other news'.

Still, though, the Saudis persist with their untruths, their pathological compulsion to fabricate further myths, and to tell the world that their future king is not a killer.

Which the CIA say he is.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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