There were 230 spoof news stories published in December 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Trump Threatens to "Totally Destroy" Ankara if Turks Attack Kurds

The White House. President Donald Trump today tweeted a threat to Turkey's President Recep Erdogan in the event of a Turkish attack on Kurds in Syria. "I love Recep, but if he unwisely moves militarily against our Kurdish allies, the U.S. will res...

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Santa's In Trouble; Caught Singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Funny story: Santa's In Trouble; Caught Singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

It's cold INSIDE, too, in many quarters for poor Santa, since some MeToo-ers have declared the song suggestive and deserving of being banned from the airwaves. Many of those who sing it are being relegated to the doghouse. But Santa is defiant, st...

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Pogues Christmas Hit 'Fairytale Of New York' Comes Onto LGBT Radar

Funny story: Pogues Christmas Hit 'Fairytale Of New York' Comes Onto LGBT Radar

Christmas, the time of year when families get together and celebrate, and love and happiness is shared throughout the community, is almost upon us once again, and, to mark this festive season, the LGBT community is demanding that The Pogues song, 'Fa...

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Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Settle Custardy Battle

Funny story: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Settle Custardy Battle

Movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whose marriage ended in a split in 2016, have ended their custardy battle in agreement, reports the Spoof. Pitt and Jolie - commonly referred to by fans as 'Brangelina' - have six children aged between 10...

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Turner Prize 2018 Dominated By Smartphone Videos

Funny story: Turner Prize 2018 Dominated By Smartphone Videos

The Turner Prize 2018 has gone to Charlotte Prodger, a 44-year-old Scottish lesbian who filmed herself 'coming out' on her iPhone, but the second and third-placed entries were also videos recorded on phones. Second place went to the Hull-born soci...

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Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl Debuts Monday Night

Funny story: Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl Debuts Monday Night

The NBS network is getting ready to roll out a new sitcom Monday night called "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl." "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl" is about four friends living in the Big City trying to navigate through...

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NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration

Funny story: NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration

NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...

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Mel Gibson and O.J. Simpson Visit Bill Cosby in Prison

Funny story: Mel Gibson and O.J. Simpson Visit Bill Cosby in Prison

SCI Phoenix, Pennsylvania Mel Gibson and O.J. Simpson have both visited convicted rapist and one-time comedian Bill Cosby. Spoke Gibson, "I have to admit, I never really liked Bill until all this secret drink stuff came up. And then, when I found...

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G20 Summit Hears That Global Warming Is Good News For Marine Animals

Funny story: G20 Summit Hears That Global Warming Is Good News For Marine Animals

Delegates at the G20 summit in Buenos Aires watched and listened in a hypnotized silence this afternoon, as they were informed by a mystery speaker that, contrary to popular opinion, Global Warming is actually a good thing - for all the creatures tha...

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God convinces Einstein to repent his sins!

Funny story: God convinces Einstein to repent his sins!

Einstein, a dedicated atheist, now in heaven, has been forced to review his doubts about The Holy One. In fact, God has demanded that Einstein repent his sins, kiss His feet, and swear that there is a God, otherwise he will be sent 'downstairs'! A...

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O2 Network Collapse Causes Chaos

Funny story: O2 Network Collapse Causes Chaos

Millions of customers were unable to access their mobile data today when the O2 network suddenly stopped working due to "technical problems". The company did not specify what the problems were, but suffice to say that they were technically technic...

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Kanye West, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin To Throw Benefit Concert for Trump

Funny story: Kanye West, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin To Throw Benefit Concert for Trump

White Settlement, TX President Trump's strongest supporters in the entertainment world have announced that they will have a benefit concert in support of the president. They will donate 2% of the profits to the Trump Defense Fund they know will be fo...

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Redskins subvert local laws by becoming a federally recognized Native American tribe

The NFL is finding it increasingly difficult to purge itself of domestic abuse perpetrators after the Redskins became a federally recognized Native American tribe under the U.S. Bureau of Indian affairs. The current land designated to the Redskins i...

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Mate Tea Bag Thrown At President Trump At G20 Summit

Funny story: Mate Tea Bag Thrown At President Trump At G20 Summit

There was controversy in Buenos Aires this evening, when delegates leaving the G20 Summit were surprised by a protestor who threw a mate tea bag at US President, Donald Trump, hitting him on the forehead. Police moved in, and a woman was led away...

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Lakers' LeBron James will Return to Cavaliers

Staples Center, Los Angeles. Magic Johnson, head of basketball operations for the Los Angeles Lakers, has reportedly reached a secret deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers sending NBA superstar LeBron James back to Cleveland before the end of the current...

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Actor Had His Face Chewed Off By Tiger Before The 9pm TV Watershed

Funny story: Actor Had His Face Chewed Off By Tiger Before The 9pm TV Watershed

An actor in a TV drama involving a man who sometimes changes into a white tiger, had his face gnawed off last night, despite the fact that, in many countries, this would have been before the 9 o'clock watershed. Thing is, in Cambodia, there are ma...

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Dora The Explorer Accused Of Poor Personal Hygiene

Funny story: Dora The Explorer Accused Of Poor Personal Hygiene

Children's TV star, Dora the Explorer, is at the center of a huge row this morning, after being criticised by parents about never changing her clothes. Dora, who shot to stardom in 2000, has always worn a pink T-shirt, orange shorts, yellow ankle...

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Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Funny story: Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Christmas bargain hunters will not have quite as long to wait for their 'Christmas bargains' this year, after businesses voted overwhelmingly to throw open their doors to customers at 6am on 25 December. The move comes as high-street traders try t...

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University students keeping the world safe from comedy

Students at Columbia University pulled the plug on SNL comedian Nimesh Patel in the middle of his set, after organizers deemed his jokes racist and homophobic. The comedian reportedly joked about a gay, black man he knew, saying that being gay canno...

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Boy Sniffed Bicycle Seat

Funny story: Boy Sniffed Bicycle Seat

Several people in the Hull area have made verbal statements to the effect that, back in 1976, they witnessed a schoolboy sniffing a bicycle seat. The incident happened at Sydney Smith High School, Anlaby, near Hull, and was seen by numerous 'frien...

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Listening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent

Funny story: Listening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent

An Englishman who listened incessantly to the music of French artist, Dominique A, started to speak English as if he, himself were French - complete with a French accent! Travelling on a Finnair flight back to Manchester in 2012, Moys Kenwood scan...

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2019 - The First Time For 100 Years That The Four Digits Have Added Up To 12

Funny story: 2019 - The First Time For 100 Years That The Four Digits Have Added Up To 12

The new year of 2019 is almost upon us, and a group of mathematics boffins are celebrating that it is the first time for a century that the individual digits of the year have added up to 12! This year - 2018 - the four digits added up to 11, and t...

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Bill Cosby escapes prison

Funny story: Bill Cosby escapes prison

In the morning, a loud, shrill siren began wailing from the SCI Phoenix prison in Collegeville, Pennsylvania. Few, if any prisoners, had ever before heard this sound in their time at SCI Phoenix. It was the escape siren in the supposedly inescapa...

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Retirement-eligible committee of mainly old geezers fondly remembering their glory days yield lower-than-expected College Football Playoff® T.V. ratings

Funny story: Retirement-eligible committee of mainly old geezers fondly remembering their glory days yield lower-than-expected College Football Playoff® T.V. ratings

(The Unassociated Press) - The interested T.V. audience for the College Football Playoff ®™ dropped significantly from last season, due to a systemic failure by executives to recognize good entertainment value. Data analysis suggests that the win...

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Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Funny story: Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Wall Street, Manhattan President Donald Trump has done it again, as he set a new record for negative tweeting. Because he broadcast a tariff deal as 'done' when it WASN'T done, the fine folks on Wall Street went into panic mode, and the Dow plunged 8...

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Buzzcocks' Pete Shelley And The Fall's Mark E. Smith To Have A Pint And Form Supergroup

Funny story: Buzzcocks' Pete Shelley And The Fall's Mark E. Smith To Have A Pint And Form Supergroup

Pete Shelley, the Buzzcocks frontman, is to form a supergroup with Mark E. Smith of The Fall, who died in January. Shelley - real name Peter Campbell McNeish - was 63, and died of a suspected heart attack at his home in Estonia on Thursday. He and...

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A celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)

Funny story: A celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)

Actor Tom Banks, whose net worth is estimated at $350 million, give or take a million, played Santa Claus at an N-n-Out Boogers in Fontana, Californicate, treating his fans to a free lunch. “Order anything you want,” he told his devotees. “Money i...

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Man Buys Black-And-White TV Set

Funny story: Man Buys Black-And-White TV Set

A man who craves the return of 'the good old days', took a step down that path at the weekend, when he bought a black-and-white television set from an old woman who wanted rid of it, for £10. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Hull, is easily old enough to be a...

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The Osmonds Christmas Single Out Next Week

Funny story: The Osmonds Christmas Single Out Next Week

The Osmonds, the flamboyant family pop group from the 1970s, who had scores of hits such as 'Crazy Horses' in 1972, are to release their new Christmas single next week, albeit it a little later than traditional festive releases. The band, which is...

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Bill Cosby Is Santa Claus As Christmas Pantomime Season Gets Going

Funny story: Bill Cosby Is Santa Claus As Christmas Pantomime Season Gets Going

Former US comedian, Bill Cosby, now incarcerated for between 3 and 10 years for rape, has been getting into the Christmas spirit behind bars, and earlier today visited fellow inmates in their cells, dressed as Santa Claus. As the pantomime season...

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Football: Big Match Preview

Funny story: Football: Big Match Preview

With the League title looking like it will be the most open it has been for a long, long time, two of the top contenders meet up this weekend in what is sure to be a crunching battle between fierce rivals who still have several scores to settle. B...

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Miley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Split

Funny story: Miley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Split

Showbiz couple, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, who were only married on Sunday, have already split, and are to divorce early in the New Year, it has been rumored by me, just now. Cyrus, who is a pop star, and Hemsworth, who is an Australian, repo...

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Man Sucked Inside Hadron Collider

Funny story: Man Sucked Inside Hadron Collider

There's been a disaster at the site of the Large Hadron Collider facility near Geneva, Switzerland, after a man who was on duty there fell asleep, and was sucked inside the machine. The LHC went live in 2008 to try to accelerate particles in order...

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O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Denny McClain, and Pete Rose Start Prisoner Reform Group

Funny story: O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Denny McClain, and Pete Rose Start Prisoner Reform Group

Calling a press conference at the Las Vegas Hilton, four sports stars who spent time in the slammer made an historic announcement--they were going to work to help others like them walk the straight and narrow. "We, we, uh, we just wanta help those...

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List of Future Top Jobs For the Next Generation Includes Many New Ones Not on List Before

Funny story: List of Future Top Jobs For the Next Generation Includes Many New Ones Not on List Before

The Naldrett Future Studies Institute of Anchor Bay released their latest report on future jobs. This gives Millennials the chance to plan ahead before spending all their future earnings on college courses. The Institute said that the most jobs w...

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New "MiB" Film Set to Break Box-office With Cutting-Edge Tech

Funny story: New "MiB" Film Set to Break Box-office With Cutting-Edge Tech

Columbia Pictures and Amblin Entertainment are banking on a new, controversial technology for their latest film release, Men in Black: International. The much-anticipated fourth installment in the blockbuster franchise features a fresh A-list cast,...

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Man Read Alexander Solzhenitsyn's 'Cancer Ward', And Began To Feel 'Ropey'

Funny story: Man Read Alexander Solzhenitsyn's 'Cancer Ward', And Began To Feel 'Ropey'

A man who read a copy of the Alexander Solzhenitsyn classic, 'Cancer Ward', has revealed how, whilst reading the book, he started to feel distinctly unwell. The book, a classic amongst Russian literature, was written in 1966, and was censored by t...

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Medical Association Declares Eggs are Bad, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

The Association of Super Intelligent Doctors and Scientists has revealed the findings of a 3 billion-dollar, 20-year study. The research concluded that eating eggs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays is bad for the health. The chief of cardiolog...

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Dark Matter "Needs to Lighten Up" Says Head of CERN

Funny story: Dark Matter "Needs to Lighten Up" Says Head of CERN

"C'est un travail de merde" said normally mild mannered Monsieur Jacques Trounoir, Head of Operations for the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in conversation with The Spoof's European Editor, Plagny Toxique. "We at CERN proved the existence of Higgs bo...

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Struggling Comic Strikes Gold with Trump

Funny story: Struggling Comic Strikes Gold with Trump

NYC -- 36 year-old Benjamin Kowalski of Newark, New Jersey, has struggled for more than 15 years to find success telling jokes on-stage. Born into a family of strict orthodox Jews, it was always assumed he was headed for medical or law school. But...

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Man Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating

Funny story: Man Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating

A man who watched a movie about a World War II submarine and its crew, has revealed how he started to feel claustraphobic, and had trouble breathing, at certain points in the film. Moys Kenwood, 55, purchased a 2-DVD copy of Wolfgang Petersen's cl...

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Russia Is Behind Gatwick Drones

Funny story: Russia Is Behind Gatwick Drones

The police investigation into the unauthorised drone activity at Gatwick Airport went 'two steps back' today, when a man and a woman arrested on Saturday were released without charge. Russia has emerged as the new suspect. The drone, which was...

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Raiders May Move to Hawaii, Play in Volcano

With a nod to his late father, Al Davis, son Mark, owner of the Oakland Raiders, is negotiating a deal with Honolulu business and sports interests, that involves moving the Raiders from Oakland to Hawaii next season. That would leave Las Vegas, where...

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Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores

Funny story: Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores

A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product. O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty S...

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Sandi Toksvig Is Paid Only 40% Of What Stephen Fry Got For QI, But Is This Too Much?

Funny story: Sandi Toksvig Is Paid Only 40% Of What Stephen Fry Got For QI, But Is This Too Much?

Sandi Toksvig, the presenter of intellectual TV game show, QI, after taking over from former host, Stephen Fry, has spoken out to an audience, moaning that she is "only paid 40% of what Stephen was getting." The audience, it must be noted, was at...

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Last Night's TV: Make Me a Dealer

Funny story: Last Night's TV: Make Me a Dealer

Popular daytime telly favourite, Make Me a Dealer, returns to our screens this week. The show, hosted by amiable host Mart Paulin, pits two aspiring drug dealers against each other. The two contestants, Dwayne Trutter a former football hooligan and D...

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"Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

Funny story: "Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis provided a "casual response" to journalists after being asked about "Migrants" and the Border Policy of the United States. Democrats in the US Congress embarked on an "All-Christmas-Long" Media Blitz on how the "Religion...

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Man's Nose Wouldn't Stop Running

Funny story: Man's Nose Wouldn't Stop Running

An unexpected change in the weather conditions caught one man unawares this week, and the cold he got caused his nose to run all day long, and at the most inconvenient of times. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, woke on Friday morning with a runny nose...

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Apes Will Speak English, Say Scientists

Funny story: Apes Will Speak English, Say Scientists

Apes will soon be able to develop sufficiently to converse with humans, say expert animo-lingusitic experts, and will almost certainly speak English. Members of the ape family have long been known to resemble humans in many other areas, and their...

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Curious Entity Defies Any Kind Of Classification

Funny story: Curious Entity Defies Any Kind Of Classification

An entity that used to be a human male has spoken out about its choice to 'self-alienate', and to escape any kind of classification or categorisation aside from 'it'. The entity, or 'it', has shed its name, thrown away its birth certificate, and d...

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British publications high on their own intestinal gases blur the news

Funny story: British publications high on their own intestinal gases blur the news

It is a known but largely secret fact that many people enjoy sampling their own intestinal gases when in convenient circumstances. Not surprising, this aspect of humanity has led to academic studies. Professor Federico Schmellini, Harvard Unive...

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Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!

Funny story: Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!

And, before we set off on the wrong foot, this is not some humorous reference to 'authentic Chinese food', just so you know. Meng Wanzhou, the Chief Financial Officer at Chinese communications giant, Huawei, who is 46 years old, was detained by th...

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Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Funny story: Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...

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International Institution Provides Warning About 'Stress' And 'Depression' During The Holiday Season

Funny story: International Institution Provides Warning About 'Stress' And 'Depression' During The Holiday Season

As 2018 slowly comes to an end amidst the holiday season, the International Institution of Professional Results Derived from Qualitative Research in the Subjects of Happiness, Positivity, Warm Feelings, and Euphoric Bliss (IIPRDQRSHPWFEB), has issued...

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French Rioters Try To Pull Down Eiffel Tower

Funny story: French Rioters Try To Pull Down Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower, the symbol of Paris, of France, and of Paris, France, has been the object of an ugly incident during the ongoing riotous actions of a few despicable thugs in the capital today. A crowd of about a thousand Yellow Vest protestors a...

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Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?

Funny story: Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?

A TV advertisement for a 'Nordic Walking' exercise machine involving several supremely fit-looking individuals whose healthy, energetic and confident demeanor resembled that of some sort of 'Master Race', has attracted the attention of a man in Tapon...

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Jamal Khashoggi Officially Forgotten About

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Officially Forgotten About

Jamal Khashoggi, the murdered dissident journalist who was so savagely slain in the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul on 2 October, has been officially forgotten about, it can be revealed. Khashoggi, who had only gone to the consulate to get som...

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Game Of Thrones Leaks Will Infuriate Producers

Funny story: Game Of Thrones Leaks Will Infuriate Producers

Fans of HBO drama, Game Of Thrones, have been frantically sweeping the pages of satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, this morning, after it was revealed that details of the final GOT series, which will be shown on Sky Atlantic in April 2019, had bee...

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Trump bromance with Putin hits the skids

Funny story: Trump bromance with Putin hits the skids

In Argentina for the annual G-20 conference, Mr. Trump is reported avoiding Mr. Putin after cancelling any official meeting between them. Analysts probing this response remind that in the 2016 campaign Mr. Trump had been enthusiastic about Mr. Put...

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Updated Version of Electronic Ouija Board Fails to Produce Terrifying Ghostly or Demonic Activity

Funny story: Updated Version of Electronic Ouija Board Fails to Produce Terrifying Ghostly or Demonic Activity

Platteville, WI. KRIMCO's newly released electronic Ouija Board failed to impress a local resident who purchased the device with the sincerest hope that using it would cause frightening spiritual events to occur. With everything he had learned...

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Huawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver

Funny story: Huawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver

Reports indicate President Moreno of Ecuador, sitting at his desk, snapped his pencil on hearing of a new asylum seeker at an Ecuador embassy. He is rumored to have said: "At least she’s rich.” This time it’s Meng Wanzhou, 46, CFO of Chinese te...

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NASA's Secret Mission to Send Man to Jupiter Failed Miserably

Funny story: NASA's Secret Mission to Send Man to Jupiter Failed Miserably

With NASA's recent success of landing a spacecraft on Mars, administrator Jonathan Briggs felt it was time to confess that NASA had also tried to send a man to the planet Jupiter. Mike Burlington, a science teacher at Bridgeway Elementary Schoo...

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Prosecutors look the other way in Seagull case

Funny story: Prosecutors look the other way in Seagull case

La La Land—Prosecutors in La La Land (aka Los Angeles) announced that martial arts expert and occasional “actor” Steven Seagull will not be prosecuted for a 2002 sexual assault he (allegedly) committed against a former model. According to the mode...

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Man Has Opened New Pack Of Chocolate Biscuits

Funny story: Man Has Opened New Pack Of Chocolate Biscuits

News has just reached The Spoof that a man who believes that chocolate biscuits are the best thing since sliced bread - possibly even before that - has opened a brand new 300gram pack of McVitie's Plain Chocolate Digestive biscuits "in the last few d...

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President Trump - Homeland Security Has Uncovered Mexican Invasion Plan

Funny story: President Trump - Homeland Security Has Uncovered Mexican Invasion Plan

US Homeland Security has uncovered what it says is a plot to invade US territory by its neighbor, Mexico, and is taking "appropriate action" to thwart this. The 'evidence' has been provided from two sources: the first, from a captured Mexican sold...

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Lonely Man Says Completely Wrong Thing To Woman

Funny story: Lonely Man Says Completely Wrong Thing To Woman

United States. Brad Michaels, 34, completely blew it last Friday when he met a gorgeous woman in the supermarket. Shopping by himself and feeling lonely, the most stunning woman he had ever seen, was suddenly shopping right next to him. He coul...

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Are Coincidences Just a Coincidence, Déjà Vu or Imaginary?

Funny story: Are Coincidences Just a Coincidence, Déjà Vu or Imaginary?

You've had the experience. You're on a train en route to a meeting at your office in Liverpool and you're attempting The Observer Everyman crossword but one clue is giving you a problem. You work through it again and just one thing fits - "Port Sunli...

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Desperate 70 Year-Old Man Robs Bank, Immediately Surrenders To Police

Funny story: Desperate 70 Year-Old Man Robs Bank, Immediately Surrenders To Police

BILLINGSGATE POST: Joe Kocolochek, a retired farmer from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, had taken all he could. After surviving fifty years with his termagant wife, he decided that he had to take action. Anything would be better than spending another...

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President Trump Christmas Album Out Thursday

Funny story: President Trump Christmas Album Out Thursday

US President Donald Trump has, this morning, revealed in a tweet that he is to break into the music industry "with a purpose" by releasing a Christmas album that is available from Thursday. The album features various Trump speeches recorded over t...

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Drone Stole Boy's Homework

Funny story: Drone Stole Boy's Homework

Police are investigating an incident in which a student from a local school alleged that, whilst he was busy doing his homework on Monday night, a drone came through his open bedroom window, and stole the book from under his nose! The incident hap...

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Trump Switches, Market Twitches, Goodbye Riches

Wall Street, NYC. The Dow Jones Industrial Averages, which rose dramatically Monday following President Donald Trump's proclamation that the tariff war with China had ended in victory for America, fell precipitously Tuesday when the president seeming...

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Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Funny story: Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...

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God Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!

Funny story: God Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!

After further volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa, and Monday's 'unrest' at Mount Etna in Sicily, it's been confirmed that God has had just about as much as he can stand, as has decided to put a stop to it all, with the End of the World. Last week's un...

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Santa Claus Hates Mince Pies

Funny story: Santa Claus Hates Mince Pies

On the eve of the most widely-celebrated Christian festival of the year, the main focal point of the event, Santa Claus, has spoken out about one of the things he hates most about it - mince pies. Parents of young children everywhere have, down th...

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2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

Funny story: 2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

The New Year, 2019, is likely to be very much the same as its direct predecessor, 2018, it's been claimed by analysts who have been studying 'the signs'. Contrary to popular belief, goes the claim, one period of time is no more likely to be any be...

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Earth's History Completely Ignored as NASA Seeks to Penetrate Surface of Mars

Funny story: Earth's History Completely Ignored as NASA Seeks to Penetrate Surface of Mars

Mars, an empty planet devoid of life that simply and peacefully maintains its regular orbital pattern within the vast and continually-expanding Universe, may possibly have its surface ruthlessly penetrated within a few years. Reporters recently in...

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New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

Funny story: New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

Rich Jones of New York City credits anti-depressant medications with saving his life, or at least, possibly helping a little. "Instead of total despair, i now just feel generally blah," reported Rich. "For that, I have these drugs to thank.” R...

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Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama kick off 2020 campaign with Shakespeare on Broadway

Funny story: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama kick off 2020 campaign with Shakespeare on Broadway

Now starring in major roles for Shakespeare’s Anthony and Cleopatra, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Obama have already started in with the 2020 presidential election. The performance is bringing widespread global attention, especially due to several "steamy...

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Funeral Service To Be Held Next Sunday

Funny story: Funeral Service To Be Held Next Sunday

La Crosse, Wisconsin. 56-year-old Charles Sterling died horribly in a Chinese restaurant last Tuesday when he accidentally ate a piece of broccoli. After numerous years of consuming TV dinners, bacon, eggs, cheese curds, steak, deep-fried chick...

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Russia Will Pay for Trump's Wall

Moscow. Special to The Spoof. Vladimir Putin, tweeting before breakfast, offered to pay the $5 billion reluctant Democrats won't vote to begin the first phase of the president's projected border wall with Mexico. The stand-off between Trump and cong...

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FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

Funny story: FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

With the New Year and its associated array of resolutions fast approaching, the Food and Drug Administration has urged Americans contemplating losing weight and getting in shape to keep their health and fitness goals aspirational. “People have the...

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World leaders going incognito with disguise and voice modification in foreign countries

Funny story: World leaders going incognito with disguise and voice modification in foreign countries

Nervous over developments in the past few days regarding Mr. Trump’s sanctions, world leaders are taking unusual steps to avoid arrest when traveling abroad. Leading the way, Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada has recently traveled to Hong Kong, whe...

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New Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll To Be Sold In Stores Soon

Are you lonely? Do you need something to hug at night in order to make you feel safe, warm, and cozy? Are teddy bears just not cutting it anymore? IMPALED recently announced that it will soon be releasing a new huggable "Vlad the Impaler" doll.

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Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

Funny story: Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

After claiming that his team does not have enough "mad dogs", Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho now blames his team's flaccid performances on being vaccinated against rabies. Moaning Maureen has also accused France midfielder Paul Pogba of b...

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Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

Funny story: Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...

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Football Gossip: Brendan Rodgers "I was halfway home", Larne FC "Champions League", Mourinho Team Building

Funny story: Football Gossip: Brendan Rodgers "I was halfway home", Larne FC "Champions League", Mourinho Team Building

Constantly bitching Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho says his team is "far" from being built in his own image as he prepares to face Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday. The United supremo told The Spoof "My team does not sulk, they are not negative,...

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Football Gossip: West Ham Women, Abramovich Cash, Clarke's Kilmarnock Faux Pas, Mourinho vs. Pogba

Funny story: Football Gossip: West Ham Women, Abramovich Cash, Clarke's Kilmarnock Faux Pas, Mourinho vs. Pogba

BBC Sport has apologised after its report of West Ham Women's third straight win in the Women's Super League was headlined "West Ham Women Thrash Bottoms of Yeovil Ladies 5-0" saying it should have read "West Ham Women Thrash Bottom Side Yeovil Ladie...

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Used Condom Found In Christmas Cracker

Funny story: Used Condom Found In Christmas Cracker

There was a less-than-festive surprise in store for one man and his girlfriend on Christmas Day, when they pulled a cracker, and out popped a condom - that had already been used! Mick Warble and his fiancé, Donna Jackson, had opened their presents...

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Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide

Funny story: Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide

A Catholic priest who shot his big, fat, stupid mouth off at a boy's funeral, about how suicide will anger God and prevent a dead person's soul from entering heaven, has said he was only joking. Father Don LaQuesta (not real name, but nearly) was...

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Nashville Musician Wonders if He Might Be a Little Self-Centered

Funny story: Nashville Musician Wonders if He Might Be a Little Self-Centered

Nashville musician Corndog Kramer, front man for the classification-resistant indie band Existential Insomnia, recently wondered if the adulation and praise lavished upon him by the discerning music aficionados who truly get his stuff, together with...

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President Trump Given Grilling During Kids' Xmas Phone-in

Funny story: President Trump Given Grilling During Kids' Xmas Phone-in

US President Donald Trump got more than he bargained for this morning, when a Christmas Day phone-in with young children didn't exactly go according to plan. Trump and his wife, Melania, were sat in easy chairs in the State Dining Room at the Whit...

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Heartland Institute Researcher Declares Fifth "New Ice Age" Onset in Last Twenty Years

Funny story: Heartland Institute Researcher Declares Fifth "New Ice Age" Onset in Last Twenty Years

Washington - After studying worldwide temperature data from late 2016 until early 2018, Dr. Sy D. Nial of the Heartland Institute, a think tank funded by Exxon and the Clean Beautiful Coal Institute of America, as well as the Koch, Murdoch and Merce...

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BBC Announces "Landmark" New Series, 'A Reimagining Of The Life Of Christ

The BBC have today announced the launch of what they are calling "a landmark new series". NAZARENE, written and run by Mark Gatiss, will be a contemporary reimagining of the story of Jesus Christ, and in a move certain to shock the Christian relig...

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Jose Mourinho Sacked As Football Finally Goes Mad

Funny story: Jose Mourinho Sacked As Football Finally Goes Mad

In what might be seen as the end of several chapters in football history today, Manchester United coach, Jose Mourinho, was sacked, and will join the dole queue tomorrow. United, although not having a great season, are in 6th place in the Premier...

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Bombshell: Trump Is Done. He's Finished. It's Over.

Funny story: Bombshell: Trump Is Done. He's Finished. It's Over.

In a bombshell report first issued just days after the 2016 election and re-emerging today, it looks like Donald J. Trump's presidency is coming to an end. "I've been saying it for two years straight," said several news pundits who have been predi...

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Man Develops 'Burning' Tendonitis After Wiping His Ass Too Many Times

Funny story: Man Develops 'Burning' Tendonitis After Wiping His Ass Too Many Times

Tom Wallace, a 46-year-old Canadian living in the United States, who asked the news team not to reveal his whereabouts in Portage County, Wisconsin, developed burning tendonitis in his right arm, late November, after wiping his ass too many times.

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EPA Protects Endangered "Milpitas Gopher"

Washington, D.C. Andrew Wheeler, acting head of the U S Environmental Protection Agency, announced today that the controversial but nearly extinct Milpitas Gopher has been added to the endangered species list. The listing drew blistering objections f...

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Cliff Richard New Greatest Hits Album Out

Funny story: Cliff Richard New Greatest Hits Album Out

Cliff Richard, the singer who just won't give up and go away, is to release a Greatest Hits of Greatest Hits album early in the new year. Cliff, real name Harry Webb, is now 78, and has, so far, released 124 studio albums since his emergence onto...

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Jamal Khashoggi didn't condone terrorist groups

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi didn't condone terrorist groups

It's being reported that Jamal Khashoggi never complained about terrorist acts committed around the world and in America in any of his journalistic writings. He never argued against the terrorist attack on Pan Am Flight 103. His silence was testim...

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Trump To Pardon Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince MBS

Funny story: Trump To Pardon Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince MBS

White House chief of staff John Kelly and Donald Trump are no longer speaking to one another. It's difficult to evaluate how this can produce a positive outcome toward world peace. Maybe it was for the accumulation of multiple factors or just the...

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