Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 19 November 2018

image for Trump Ready To Forgive Mohammed bin Salman In Confession
He knows...

US President, Donald Trump, says he is ready to offer forgiveness to Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman,the man who ordered the brutal, vicious and murderous slaying of the Washington Post contributor, Saudi Arabian dissident, Jamal Khashoggi, if he will only 'man up', and beg for it in confession.

Trump was busy tweeting this morning in his by-now customary fashion, and said he had read the CIA report on the matter, and agreed with the CIA opinion that Mr bin Salman was "lying through his teeth" when he said he knew nothing about Khashoggi's untimely demise.

Mr Trump has refused to listen to the tape of the murder, however, saying that he knows what a murder sounds like without having to listen to one.

"It's a suffering tape, it's a terrible tape," he said. "I know everything that went on in the room without having to hear it. It was very violent, very vicious and terrible."

"But, at the same time, we do have an ally, and I want to stick with an ally that, in many ways, has been very good," he said. "If he can only bring himself to admit that he did it, I will have myself ordained as a Catholic priest, don a smock, and receive him in a confessional, to offer him spiritual cleansing. I'll have him do a "Hail Trump!" and a "Praise Trump, for He is great!", and then I'll purify his godamned, evil-smelling Arabic soul. Then we can get on with the arms dealing again!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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