Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

image for Latest Chinese health 'tsunami' heading towards the US & UK; pee and bugs!!
At last! The damn things are being put to good use in China and soon the rest of the world will benefit!

Chinese top business managers have involved scientists in the quest to extract even more energy from their billions of workers because the Chinese economy is lurching downwards rapidly!

To put a 'sting' in the tail of the work force, scientists have come up with several solutions and it seems like they are proving beneficial, not only health wise, but also levels of efficiency in Chinese production plants has increased even with Trump's trade war causing a dent in proceedings!

US and UK companies are now hoping to get 'bugged' by a tsunami of solutions heading their way and here are the main two:

1) Instead of workers being given green tea at their breaks, they are now being forced into drinking their own pee (AAGH!!) thus forcing them to work through their tea breaks because nobody can stand the stuff and production automatically increased! By the way the Chinese knicked the idea from Indian guru, Gandhi, who was rather skinny (no wonder!) and worked tirelessly to save his nation, but failed!

2) Workers in their lunch time breaks in Chinese factories are now being forced to eat bug burgers (very healthy), cockroach soup, Chop Suey made with ants and anything else found crawling over the factory floor, plus other healthy, nutritious gems, topped with fly lice (oops sorry, rice)!

Workers refused to adopt the latest yummies on offer and decided to work from 06.00 PM right through to 18.00 AM without a break and production has now increased 20%. Although many workers are dropping like flies, but that doesn't matter, there are enough Chinese to replace them!

Trump has not dropped his embargo of other Chinese products, but will certainly allow these latest healthy trends to enter the US tax free. The UK is hoping for a similar deal with China, but must wait until a certain quagmire in Ireland has been cleared up!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: China, Health Care, Piss, Bugs




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
67 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more