Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 17 November 2018

image for Tiger Woods v. Phil Mickelson Weigh-in As It Happened
Tiger with that famous trick shot

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson created a sensation yesterday as they attended the weigh-in for their November 23 match that has been dubbed 'The Match'.

As the two stood eye-to-eye, stripped bare to the waist, the atmosphere was so thick with tension and hate, that anyone could have cut straight through it with a tension-and-hate-cutting knife.

Woods stared straight ahead, into Mickelson's eyes, and right out the back of his head, with penetrating intensity. Big Phil didn't seem to notice; he didn't flinch, or even blink - he just spat in Tiger's face.

When the preliminaries were over, Woods went outside to practise his bunker shots, and showed the crowd that trick shot where he whips the sand into a wind tunnel, then hits the ball through it and onto the green, where it then rolls softly into the hole. The crowd were in raptures.

It certainly is going to be one of the roughest and toughest matches for many moons, and even the build-up is proving to be full of controversy, with journalists unable to agree on whether Big Phil's surname should be spelt 'Mickleson' or 'Mickelson'.

To make matters worse, Micklelson is a southpaw, which, by any stretch of the imagination, is a huge coincidence, as his nickname is 'Lefty'.

And, in these sadly troubled times, it can't have escaped anyone's attention that here we have a white fighter versus a black fighter, going at it, hammer-and-tongs, for $9million, of your money.

Enjoy!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Tiger Woods, Golf




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