There were 267 spoof news stories published in October 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction

Funny story: Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction

To celebrate his 'victory' in the Sexual Misconduct hearing against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has indicated that, as an act of goodwill, he intends to quash the guilty conviction against jailed comedian Bill Cosby, and set the funnyman free. Kava...

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Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

Funny story: Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...

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Bill Cosby Is Being Forced To Watch Endless Repeats Of 'The Cosby Show'

Funny story: Bill Cosby Is Being Forced To Watch Endless Repeats Of 'The Cosby Show'

Bill Cosby, the actor jailed for between 3 and 10 years for three counts of aggravated indecent sexual assault, has spent his first week behind bars, and, according to sources inside the prison, has been treated horrendously. Cosby, 81, was senten...

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Wanna Develop a 'New' Hit TV Show?

Funny story: Wanna Develop a 'New' Hit TV Show?

Here's what you gotta do: 1. Forget about looking at the future or the present. People are interested in THE PAST these days. Look backward not forward and you'll do fine. 2. Remember: Same old, same old. Forget about innovation or being unique. Think reboot and you're sure to succeed. And stay away from Twitter and Facebook. You may say something stupid that will get you fired before yo...

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Bill Cosby Doing 'Funny Face' Requests For Fellow Prisoners

Funny story: Bill Cosby Doing 'Funny Face' Requests For Fellow Prisoners

Bill Cosby, the convicted sex assailant, who was recently sentenced to between 3 and 10 years behind bars for aggravated indecent sexual assault, has been entertaining his fellow prisoners with a display of his 'funny faces'. Cosby, 81, starred in...

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NASA To Fly Trump To A Planet Of His Choice

Funny story: NASA To Fly Trump To A Planet Of His Choice

There was a welcome diversion from his Saudi Arabian problems for President Donald Trump this morning, when NASA announced that they are to offer to make the US leader the 'first president in space' (FPIS). Indeed, not only will NASA help Trump b...

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Algorithms Are Watching Your Every Move

Funny story: Algorithms Are Watching Your Every Move

A man has told of his fears about internet algorithms after he kept being bothered by advertisements that had been sent to his internet pages. Some of the adverts were 'associated' with subjects he had been reading about, but others were sent for...

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Mohammed bin Salman flees to Turkey’s embassy in Riyadh

Funny story: Mohammed bin Salman flees to Turkey’s embassy in Riyadh

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MbS), next in line to the King, is now reported taking refuge (or vanished) inside Turkey’s Embassy in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. This news comes following the controversy over Jamal Khashoggi’s disappearance inside th...

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The Simpsons In A Fix, As Apu Refuses To Leave

Funny story: The Simpsons In A Fix, As Apu Refuses To Leave

Producers of popular TV show, The Simpsons, are wracking their brains over what to do about its future tonight, after a planned axing of the Apu character went slightly askew, when Apu refused to leave. Citing 'contractual obligations', Apu has sa...

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The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

Funny story: The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The universe, which has been expanding rapidly outward ever since the Big Bang, more than 13.8billion years ago, has stopped doing so, and, indeed, has started to contract. Having been rushing continually outward for such a long time, the universe...

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Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists

Funny story: Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists

Dunkin' Donuts, ridiculed for changing its name to Just Dunkin' in what many media analysts (whatever the hell they are) believe was a publicity ploy, is back in the limelight because of the behavior of one of its Syracuse, New Yawk, employees. A...

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Moon Almost Collided With Planet Earth!

Funny story: Moon Almost Collided With Planet Earth!

A man on his way home to the Tapon commune in Battambang last night, was witness to an extraordinary incident in which the Moon very nearly collided with the Earth. Moys Kenwood, 55, was returning from hospital, having had a blood test, and provid...

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Flashpoint Narrowly Avoided In Local Market Square

Funny story: Flashpoint Narrowly Avoided In Local Market Square

A major controversy was narrowly averted earlier today, when a trader who normally sells flowers in a local town's market square was unable to do so due to circumstances utterly beyond her control. Miss Cobbit, the florist, has, for 40 years, sold...

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Johnny Hallyday Album Sales Break All Records

Funny story: Johnny Hallyday Album Sales Break All Records

The unprecedented success, during its first week of release, of the new album by French crooner, Johnny Hallyday, has stunned music critics, who have called on him to make a comeback, and start touring again. This is impossible, however, as he die...

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Chris Whine: "I was stiffed!"

Funny story: Chris Whine: "I was stiffed!"

Chris Whine was living up to his name, as he whined (again) that no one takes him seriously as an actor. “I should have won an Academy Award, or at least an Enema,” he complained, “for my latest role, as an asshole, in the made-for-TV movie, Double S...

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Kanye West Has Gone Mad

Funny story: Kanye West Has Gone Mad

After becoming half-mad last week and reducing the length of his first name by 60%, rapper Kanye West has achieved the 'full house' this week, and gone stark-raving bonkers. West spoke to reporters, and announced that he would be in Washington on...

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Student Determined To Become Astronaut After Passing Exam

Funny story: Student Determined To Become Astronaut After Passing Exam

Dickfield University. Jessica Finley, a 21-year-old undergraduate student with a beautiful personality, a 'perfectly-shaped' and 'well-formed' academic background, firm study habits, and really big qualifications, has decided that she wants to becom...

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Halloween Movie Is Scariest Yet, And Might Well Make You Shit Your Pants

Funny story: Halloween Movie Is Scariest Yet, And Might Well Make You Shit Your Pants

A new Halloween movie hits cinemas today, and, according to inside sources, it's the scariest scary movie ever to scare people! Starring several stars, 'Halloween, Or Something' is said to be SO scary, the film's producers are worried they might h...

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New news anchor's "talent" sure to boost ratings, producer says

Funny story: New news anchor's "talent" sure to boost ratings, producer says

In an attempt to compete with Foxy Nudes, CeeBeeEss' “Diss Mornin'” program has added Brianna Gold-Digger to its lineup. The buxom beauty, known as much for her ample cleavage and her radiant smile as she is for her “gravitas,” will join co-stars mos...

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Bill Cosby Gets Standing Ovation From Cellmate

Funny story: Bill Cosby Gets Standing Ovation From Cellmate

It was a much more relaxed evening for jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, last night, as the 81-year-old former funnyman put on an impromptu performance to remember - even if it will only be remembered by one man, Cosby's cellmate, Thomas 'Frankie' Knuckle...

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Fan Hates U2 Because They Are Popular

Funny story: Fan Hates U2 Because They Are Popular

A local man who grew up loving U2, hates them now because they are popular. “U2 used to be awesome until everyone else started liking them, then they became awful,” said the man, Kevin Stevens. “I liked them when they were young and up-and-coming,...

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Netfix cancels Luke Cage; superhero not happy

Funny story: Netfix cancels Luke Cage; superhero not happy

Netfix has said no to a new season of Cap'n Marvell Studios' Luke Cage, a jive-action comic strip starring somebody named Mike Coltrane (no relation to John) as the crime-fighting superhero. Although Netfix executives were vague in saying why the...

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Fatties on trains and planes complain, but bogs for 'skinnies' remain!

Funny story: Fatties on trains and planes complain, but bogs for 'skinnies' remain!

Be aware, this story is "utter shite", Ed. Even the most normal size people hate the thought of entering a bog on a plane or train, they stink! However, people who enjoy fast travelling and, very much fast food before boarding and, on board (ch...

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'Mission Impossible' Was A Terrible Name For The Show

Funny story: 'Mission Impossible' Was A Terrible Name For The Show

The 1960s drama 'Mission Impossible' was the most poorly-named TV show of its time, according to a man who enjoys thinking about pointless bullshit. The theme of the series, which ran from 1966 to 1973, was that a team of secret American agents -...

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New 'Planet Of The Apes' Movie Out In December!

Funny story: New 'Planet Of The Apes' Movie Out In December!

There was great news for fans of the 'Planet of the Apes' movie series today, when it was announced that a new film would be in cinemas from December. 'The Struggle for the Sexuality of the Planet of the Apes' is a 41st-century tale of what goes w...

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Man "Very Disappointed" In 'Mrs Brown's Boys'

Funny story: Man "Very Disappointed" In 'Mrs Brown's Boys'

A man watched the first ten minutes of so-called 'comedy laughter show' 'Mrs. Brown's Boys' at the weekend, before he was forced to turn it off, so diabolically unfunny was it. Watching the tripe on the recommendation of his half-sister's husband,...

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Mexico To Send 5,200 Troops To US Border

Funny story: Mexico To Send 5,200 Troops To US Border

The Mexican government has said in a statement released at lunchtime today, that it is to deploy 5,200 troops to its border with the USA, to counter the 5,200 US troops President Donald Trump says he is sending there as part of Operation Faithful Pat...

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Fire Chief In Trouble Over Improper Use Of Fire Engine And Crew

Funny story: Fire Chief In Trouble Over Improper Use Of Fire Engine And Crew

A Fire Chief in charge of a local fire station was in hot water earlier, after it was revealed he had used the station's fire engine and its crew improperly - to stick up bill posters for the Firemen's Brass Band Concert! Captain Flack, of Trumpt...

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President Trump To Change The Ending Of 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967)

Funny story: President Trump To Change The Ending Of 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967)

In the latest of a series of ultraradical Right-leaning decisions, US President Donald Trump has decided to change the ending of the highly-influential 1967 Norman Jewison movie, 'In The Heat Of The Night'. The movie starring Rod Steiger and Sidne...

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Rare Coin Arouses Interest On eBay

Funny story: Rare Coin Arouses Interest On eBay

Coin collectors were in the news again earlier today, when an extremely rare 10p coin attracted the attentions of several serious bidders on auction website eBay. Or is it ebay? The coin, which is like MANY other 10p coins - in that, it has that...

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Kavanaugh To Get His Own TV Show About 'Lying'

Funny story: Kavanaugh To Get His Own TV Show About 'Lying'

Judge Brett Kavanaugh, the man who was cleared by a 'select panel' of any sexual wrongdoing, either in the past or in the future, has reportedly been approached to host his very own television show about lying. It's understood that Kavanaugh is th...

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Bill Cosby Sweater Sale To Be Held To Fund His Coke Habit

Funny story: Bill Cosby Sweater Sale To Be Held To Fund His Coke Habit

In what's been called by some, "despicable", the family of jailed sex offender, Bill Cosby, are to be allowed to send vast amounts of money to the former comedian, so that he can fund his Coke habit. The cash is to be raised by selling off his la...

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Bill Cosby Trades Rights to 'Fat Albert' to Fellow Convict for Warm Blanket

Funny story: Bill Cosby Trades Rights to 'Fat Albert' to Fellow Convict for Warm Blanket

SCI Phoenix, Pennsylvania State Prison Bill Cosby has been adjusting to life in prison. Although his obvious dislike of his surroundings can be easily seen on his twisted face, he has learned how to barter with his fellow inmates to get what he needs...

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Hillbilly Clinton: “If nominated I will not run, but I will win!”

Funny story: Hillbilly Clinton: “If nominated I will not run, but I will win!”

Two-time loser Hillary “Hillbilly” Clinton, 71, recently said, “the third time's the charm, and I expect to win the presidency in 2020.” Clinton lost the 2008 primary election to Baroque Insane Obummer. She lost again, in the 2016 general election...

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Bill Cosby Subjected To Evil Name-calling By Fellow Inmates

Funny story: Bill Cosby Subjected To Evil Name-calling By Fellow Inmates

Bill Cosby, who used to be a comedian, but isn't laughing anymore, is being subjected to almost-constant name-calling by his fellow inmates, I understand. Cosby, 81, was jailed for between 3 and 10 years for aggravated indecent sexual assault, but...

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Nigerian Televangelist's Penis Is "The Longest In Africa"

Funny story: Nigerian Televangelist's Penis Is "The Longest In Africa"

A Nigerian televangelist operating in South Africa has told a courtroom that he has the longest penis in Africa. Timothy Osotomo, 60, is appearing before the court in Johannesburg on 90-odd counts of doing illegal sexy things, some of them with hi...

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TV Drama 'Life Of The Tiger Lady' Is "Absolutely Fucking Shite", Claims Man

Funny story: TV Drama 'Life Of The Tiger Lady' Is "Absolutely Fucking Shite", Claims Man

A TV drama broadcast in Thailand, but beamed into homes in other Asian locations, is "absolutely fucking shite" according to one man who viewed it in Cambodia. 'Life Of The Tiger Lady' is typical of other Thai TV drama shows, which show a complete...

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Prolific Use of Quotation Marks Lends Nashville Professor Additional Academic Panache

Funny story: Prolific Use of Quotation Marks Lends Nashville Professor Additional Academic Panache

Following what had until then been a rather lackluster and even “dry” academic career, Jake Hanson, Professor of Urban Studies at Nashville's Tennessee State University, discovered that the prolific use of quotation marks in his published works subst...

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Moviegoers Excited To Sleep Through “First Man”

Funny story: Moviegoers Excited To Sleep Through “First Man”

Fans of sleeping in comfortable movie chairs are excited about the upcoming release of First Man, the latest in the Hollywood tradition of boring movies about space, "We're proud of First Man," said producer, Robert Weinberger. "We think it's th...

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Nevada Brothels to be turned into places of worship

Nevada brothel owners have seen the light after the death of one of its most infamous owners and have all decided to turn their whore-houses into 'Homes of God' after seeing the light after years of seeing only the 'red light!' Punters turning up...

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Conor McGregor And Khabib Nurmagomedov To Patch Things Up

Funny story: Conor McGregor And Khabib Nurmagomedov To Patch Things Up

News has just reached us that the two fighters, Conor McGregor and Russian Khabib Nurmagomedov, have come to a mutual agreement about their 'fall-out' after their UFC lightweight world title fight earlier this month, and will meet on neutral ground t...

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Morrissey Still A 'Loner'

Funny story: Morrissey Still A 'Loner'

Fans of The Smiths are all on-edge this week, as they anxiously await the new solo album by the group's former frontman, Steven Patrick Morrissey. The album, 'Me, Myself, I, Nobody Else' is released on November 1, and will be followed by a single...

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Democrats Look to Jesus to Win Elections

Funny story: Democrats Look to Jesus to Win Elections

Democrats, sick of losing to Republicans, have launched a new political campaign strategy to take back Jesus. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, the left-wing hippies loved Jesus. With their long hair and flowing garments, they even looked like Jesus. W...

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Yale University: All Students To Have Sex Organ(s) Tattooed With ID Number

BILLINGSGATE POST: Deborah Ramirez, the former Yale coed who rhetorically fingered her now-famous classmate’s penis at a frat house party at Yale some thirty years ago, admitted that she was very intoxicated at the time. To be sure, most female stud...

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Conor McGregor And Khabib Nurmagomedov To Join Search For Jamal Khashoggi

Funny story: Conor McGregor And Khabib Nurmagomedov To Join Search For Jamal Khashoggi

After the disgraceful scenes in the US earlier this month, many people would probably find it difficult to believe that Conor McGregor and Khabib Nurmagomedov could spend more than 10 seconds in each other's company without fisticuffs, so the idea th...

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Judge Kavanaugh: “I Am An Independent, Impartial Judge That Just So Happens to Hate Democrats”

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an attempt to clear his name, Judge Brett Kavanaugh penned a column in the Wall Street Journal. He started by saying, “I am an independent, impartial judge that just so happens to hate Democrats. I hate them with the force and f...

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Royal Wedding TV Channel To Be Launched

Funny story: Royal Wedding TV Channel To Be Launched

The BBC are set to launch a brand new Royal Wedding Channel which will cover every Royal Wedding ever televised. These would include: Princess Eugenie v. Jack Brooksbank Prince Harry v. Meghan Markle Prince William v. Catherine 'Kate' Mi...

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Baseball Match Was Very Interesting, Especially Towards The End

Funny story: Baseball Match Was Very Interesting, Especially Towards The End

The baseball match between the Los Angeles Dodgems and the Boston Red Socks has ended, and was very, very interesting. The two sides met in the third bout of a 7-bout series called the World Series. Boston had won the first two conflicts. The B...

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Apprentice Review: Apprentice Candidates Reach Peak Self Entitlement

Funny story: Apprentice Review: Apprentice Candidates Reach Peak Self Entitlement

It's Apptober again! The Apprentice has returned for another season and this year the candidates are more hapless than ever. Take IT Consultant Prakash, who has a very unique way of producing wealth. "I ooze wealth from my every pore." Explains Praka...

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Saudi Arabia Promises To Retrieve Body For Funeral Of Jamal Khashoggi

Funny story: Saudi Arabia Promises To Retrieve Body For Funeral Of Jamal Khashoggi

There was more controversy in the Jamal Khashoggi situation today, when the Washington Post contributor's fiancée asked for her betrothed's body to be returned for burial. Mr Khashoggi entered the Saudi Arabian consulate on 2 October, and died, in...

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Benghazi and Brett Kavanaugh

Funny story: Benghazi and Brett Kavanaugh

Two-year investigation on Benghazi at the cost of over eight million dollars, but only a four-day investigation on an accused sex offender, perjurer, and drunk who believes he is entitled to a chair on the Supreme Court. Ignore the forty witnesses who could have supported Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony, and give Kavanaugh a chair. A Kavanaugh chair to the Supreme Court is worse than 9/1...

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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...

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Saudi Crown Prince "Is A Naughty Boy" King Salman Announces

Funny story: Saudi Crown Prince "Is A Naughty Boy" King Salman Announces

A spokesman for King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud of Saudi Arabia revealed today that Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is currently confined to his bedroom and has had his pocket money stopped while the disappearance of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashog...

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New Zealand Air Force buys half an F35 fighter jet

The American Air Force has grounded its whole fleet of F35 fighter jets, described as the most sophisticated and expensive in the history of combat aviation. Media reports suggest that the Trump administration has found a legitimate excuse to get rid...

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Jamal Khashoggi Lucan Spotted Playing In Goal At Barking Rovers Match

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Lucan Spotted Playing In Goal At Barking Rovers Match

London, UK - There are reports this weekend that the self-styled Houdini-artiste may have ‘faked’ his disappearance at a Turkish bath somewhere in The Phosphorous - eh, Bosphorus - a bit like Lord Lucan in 1974. The news comes amid ‘sightings’ of...

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Jamal Khashoggi - Nose Found

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi - Nose Found

Police in Istanbul have announced that a member of the public walked into a police station in the city yesterday, and handed in a nose which, it was claimed, looks like that of the murdered Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi. The...

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Turkey Agrees Terms With Saudi Arabia Over Khashoggi Murder

Funny story: Turkey Agrees Terms With Saudi Arabia Over Khashoggi Murder

Turkey and Saudi Arabia have reached an 'amicable agreement' over the way forward in the Jamal Khashoggi case, and normal service is to be resumed immediately. Except for Jamal Khashoggi, that is. A high-level meeting between politicians intere...

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Conor McGregor Suspended For Being A Complete And Utter Twat

Funny story: Conor McGregor Suspended For Being A Complete And Utter Twat

Fresh from his recent stunning defeat at the hands of the Russian, Khabib Nurmagomedov, former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, Conor McGregor, has been suspended from all forms of fighting, for being a complete and utter twat. This inc...

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President Trump Floats Slavery Idea

Funny story: President Trump Floats Slavery Idea

President Donald Trump has indicated at a meeting with Republican colleagues, that, as a way of solving problems in the employment sector, he "would not totally oppose" the idea of a return to slavery on a limited scale. The news had an earth-shat...

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Dodgers, Attorney Avenatti Sue to Overturn Boston's World Series Championship

Late Sunday night, attorney Michael Avenatti, who represented Julie Swetnick in the Kavanaugh hearing, filed a class action suit in federal court, to void the Boston Red Sox' World Series championship. The Los Angeles Dodgers, though not formally a...

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Marriages Where One Of The Couple Shits The Bed, More Likely To End In Divorce - Study

Funny story: Marriages Where One Of The Couple Shits The Bed, More Likely To End In Divorce - Study

Marriages where one of the couples shits the bed, are more likely to end in divorce, says a study I made up off the top of my head today. Divorce rates worldwide have soared over the last 20 years, but it's amongst the bedshitting community that s...

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Chargers And Titans Fascinate Crowd In Wembley Spectacular

Funny story: Chargers And Titans Fascinate Crowd In Wembley Spectacular

England got a further taste of 'American Gridiron' at Wembley Stadium this weekend, with another engrossing contest between a team called the Tennessee Chargers and another one called the Los Angeles Titans. The hallowed turf had to be ruined, som...

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Bill Cosby Is A Victim Of 'The Law' (Or He Might Be, But We'll Never Know For Sure)

Funny story: Bill Cosby Is A Victim Of 'The Law' (Or He Might Be, But We'll Never Know For Sure)

Bill Cosby, the black comedian, who was jailed as a result of being found guilty of, is a victim of 'Law', and should be freed immediately. The law, in most countries, decrees that people thought to have broken the law with regard to 'serious crime', should go to prison. This is where the Law makes its biggest mistake. Before we get to that, however, we must first establish that a person...

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Saudi Arabia To X-RAY Stomachs Of Assassination Team

Funny story: Saudi Arabia To X-RAY Stomachs Of Assassination Team

BILLINGSGATE POST: Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman assured Secretary of State Mike Pompeo that he would provide X-rays of the stomachs of his assassination team to prove they didn’t dispose of Jamal Khashoggi by eating his body parts. Altho...

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Trump explains rogue bone saw “hypnosis” responsible for Khashoggi problem in Turkey

Funny story: Trump explains rogue bone saw “hypnosis” responsible for Khashoggi problem in Turkey

Mindful of the importance of Saudi Arabia’s economic influence, Mr. Trump has chosen to support the Saudi Regime’s explanations. At stake are munitions sales for the war in Yemen plus control of oil prices, particularly important now due to animos...

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Trump On Jamal Khashoggi: "No Body, No Murder"

Funny story: Trump On Jamal Khashoggi: "No Body, No Murder"

US President, Donald Trump, has spoken to reporters at the White House about the strange and mysterious disappearance of Jamal Khashoggi, who has not been seen since he entered the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul on 2 October. Trump said: "I'm...

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The Camel Did It: Khashoggi Murder Solved

Funny story: The Camel Did It: Khashoggi Murder Solved

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Middle East, where internecine intrigue is known to cloud even the most obvious solution, it is quite possible that both the Turkish government and the Saudi royalty have already made a deal that neatly absolves any connect...

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Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate

Funny story: Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate

A toilet that was displaying an 'Out Of Order' sign was the scene of an unsavoury incident in Hull recently, when a man who was shopping in the city centre realized he was desperate for a babber. Moys Kenwood, 55, was ambling vacantly around the P...

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Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh Reports Stigmata from Contentious Senate Confirmation Hearings

Funny story: Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh Reports Stigmata from Contentious Senate Confirmation Hearings

The newest United States Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh, reported that during the contentious confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee during which he was forced to defend himself against accusations of sexual misconduct ma...

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Heaven Moving?

Funny story: Heaven Moving?

In an effort to address major declines in new membership and a increase in the number of people leaving the church, the college of bishops has put together a list of potential marketing ideas, and is awaiting the office of the papacy. "In light...

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Police Search Movie Scenes For Evidence Of Murders

Funny story: Police Search Movie Scenes For Evidence Of Murders

A decision to hold a murder trial on the strength of a few words spoken in a TV drama, has got several Hollywood movie stars looking nervously over their shoulders. The case referred to, up above, is that of millionaire, Robert Durst, 75, the subj...

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Robert Rundo Arrested By Rozzers

Funny story: Robert Rundo Arrested By Rozzers

The white supremacist, Robert Rundo, has been arrested in California for inciting riots, and excessive use of the letter 'r'. Rundo, the really rather revolting Right-wing rebel renegade, and originator of the Rise Above Movement (RAM), has routi...

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US reported mulling application of Khashoggi case to Assange

Funny story: US reported mulling application of Khashoggi case to Assange

Mr. Trump, concerned over an arms sales deal with Saudi Arabia worth $110billion, is being cautious over the Jamal Khashoggi case. An investigation with teeth in it could interrupt his friendship with the Saudis and affect arms deals down the road...

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Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Funny story: Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Washington's Museum of the Bible has announced that five of its most prized artefacts – valuable fragments in its collection of Dead Sea Scrolls – are forgeries and will no longer be displayed unlike other artefacts of dodgy origin. German researc...

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Bill Cosby Jail Escape Latest

Funny story: Bill Cosby Jail Escape Latest

After what newspaper reports have already called 'The Cosby Redemption', women all across the United States were being warned to be 'extremely vigilant' this evening, after it was revealed that the jailed former comedian, Bill Cosby, had managed to o...

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College Faculty Walk-out Becomes Epic Fail!

A recent adjunct faculty walkout at Eastern Omaha Community College abruptly ended today beneath a burning Nebraska sun. For the past week, 273 adjunct (part-time) faculty had been marching back and forth between the parking lot and administration bu...

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Elastic In Man's Underpants Went Slack

Funny story: Elastic In Man's Underpants Went Slack

There was almost an embarrassing situation for one man at a school in Battambang this morning, when, standing teaching students in a science class, he felt the elastic in his underpants slacken, and then the unmistakable feeling of sagging, as they s...

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BBC News Hacked By Russia

Funny story: BBC News Hacked By Russia

Russian hackers are believed to be behind the 'technical glitch' that threw the BBC into disarray yesterday afternoon just after 3pm. For a while, the channel played recorded 'old news', but this backfired when the main news featured the death of...

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President Trump And Judge Kavanaugh To Meet About Propriety Of 'To Kill A Mockingbird' And Others

Funny story: President Trump And Judge Kavanaugh To Meet About Propriety Of 'To Kill A Mockingbird' And Others

President Trump and Judge Brett Kavanaugh are to schedule a meeting during which they will consider the 'propriety' of certain contentious books in American literature, including the Harper Lee 'Deep South in the Depression' classic, 'To Kill A Mocki...

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Piers Morgan Isn't Very Nice

Funny story: Piers Morgan Isn't Very Nice

Piers Morgan, the host of TV's 'Good Morning Britain' show, has been widely-criticised for his own rather critical comments about Daniel Craig carrying his daughter in a 'papoose', but, in fairness, he has his reasons. Morgan, a complete twat, cal...

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Trump Signs Executive Order Making Himself Dictator For Life

Funny story: Trump Signs Executive Order Making Himself Dictator For Life

In a move that has been widely praised by Republican leaders, Donald "The Antichrist" Trump has signed an executive piece of legislation declaring himself to be a full-blown Adolf Hitler-style dictator. The document authorizes him to print all the...

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Obama’s Mother-In-Law Accuses Him Of Stealing Her Sosha Shurity Checks

Funny story: Obama’s Mother-In-Law Accuses Him Of Stealing Her Sosha Shurity Checks

BILLINGSGATE POST: President Obama's mother-in-law lived her entire life in Chicago, so when she was invited to move into the White House, she was somewhat apprehensive. Try it for a few months, her son-in-law suggested. For the first two years,...

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Kanye West Out Of Politics After Snoop Dogg Threat

Funny story: Kanye West Out Of Politics After Snoop Dogg Threat

US rapper, Kanye West, who has been verbally active and vociferous in his support of President Donald Trump, has announced he is taking a break from politics, after receiving 'advice' from other rappers, thought to include Snoop Dogg. West, 49, ha...

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Kanye West To Leave US

Funny story: Kanye West To Leave US

The rapper and politician, Kanye West, who recently commented that the 13th Amendment of the US Constitution - which deals with slavery - should be abolished, has announced he is to leave the United States to live abroad. West recently replied to...

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Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

Funny story: Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

The floor of the Senate was the site of a series of astonishing superhero-related battles as Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh transformed into The Incredible Hulk before the astonished eyes of the assembled Senate Judiciary Committee and the new...

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TV Meerkats Refused UK Visas

Funny story: TV Meerkats Refused UK Visas

In the aftermath of the Sergei Skripal affair, and the recent decline in Anglo-Russian diplomatic relations, it's been revealed that the meerkats who feature in a series of TV advertisements for comparethemarket.com, have been refused UK visas, and m...

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Jamal Khashoggi Fable To Be Included In New Version Of 'The 1001 Arabian Nights'

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Fable To Be Included In New Version Of 'The 1001 Arabian Nights'

'The 1001 Nights' or, as it is often known, 'The Arabian Nights', have been revised, and a new version will be released on Tuesday which will include a new tale, Accidental Death of a Writer, which is an adaptation of the Jamal Khashoggi case. The...

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Trump Instructs FBI To Arrest Obama For Returning Bomb

Funny story: Trump Instructs FBI To Arrest Obama For Returning Bomb

President Donald Trump has given orders for his predecessor, Barack Obama, to be arrested and brought in for questioning amid allegations that, after he received a suspicious package through the post, he tried to return it to its sender via the US Po...

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Technical Manual Writer Feels That He Is Past His Prime

Funny story: Technical Manual Writer Feels That He Is Past His Prime

Minnesota. News reporters rushed to the home of Jonathan Smith last Tuesday, after he allegedly told trusted friend and co-worker, Susan Clemens, that he felt he was past his prime as a writer and that it was time to move on with his life. Jonath...

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Hannibal Lecter Seen Exiting Saudi Embassy With New Lampshade

Funny story: Hannibal Lecter Seen Exiting Saudi Embassy With New Lampshade

BILLINGSGATE POST: A newly-released video showing forensic psychiatrist and taxidermist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, carrying a lampshade out of the Saudi Embassy in Istanbul was released this morning as part of the probe into the disappearance of journa...

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Jamal Khashoggi Turns Up Safe And Well

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Turns Up Safe And Well

The threat of a diplomatic showdown over the 'murder' of Saudi Arabian journalist, Jamal Khashoggi disappeared this morning, when the Washington Post contributor turned up safe and well. Mr Khashoggi had not been seen since he entered the Saudi Ar...

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Showdown at The Bonesaw Corral: Saudi Arabia reveals what happened

Funny story: Showdown at The Bonesaw Corral: Saudi Arabia reveals what happened

On Friday evening Saudi Arabia finally set the record straight on what happened October 2 in the Istanbul Consulate. Previous explanations were not lies. They were "impressions" that had not been properly rinsed and dried. Laundering official...

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Kavanaugh Accuser Has Ridiculous Pythonesque Name

Funny story: Kavanaugh Accuser Has Ridiculous Pythonesque Name

As yet another female accuser of Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, put her head up above the parapet over the weekend, the case took a decidedly-Pythonesque turn, when it was learned that the woman's name was Julia Swetnick. Monty Python's F...

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President Trump To Go To Saudi Arabia To Sort Things Out

Funny story: President Trump To Go To Saudi Arabia To Sort Things Out

US President Donald Trump, has told senior members of the Republican administration he is to go to Saudi Arabia to personally deal with the investigation into the disappearance of the Washington Post journalist, Jamal Khashoggi. Mr Trump, who doe...

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Slowly, Over Time, Nashville Man Becomes Slightly Less Immature

Funny story: Slowly, Over Time, Nashville Man Becomes Slightly Less Immature

Slowly, over time, with a great deal of (well, some) personal work, Trent O’Hare of Nashville, Tennessee, reports that he’s become slightly less immature. “It’s pretty remarkable, if I don’t say so myself," said Trent. "Which I do. A lot. I think...

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Trump’s brain removed in routine maintenance for lube and oil change plus size assessment

Funny story: Trump’s brain removed in routine maintenance for lube and oil change plus size assessment

Mr. Trump is currently at rest in a dark room at The White House with a bandana across his eyes. A crack team of scientists from MIT has quickly removed his brain and will replace it (some say) with application of krazy glue. The President fore...

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Dr. Emil Skoda: “Senator Mitch McConnell Believes Every Group That Aren't White Males Are a Mob”

NEW YORK, NY – Dr. Emil Skoda, a psychiatrist who works with the New York Police Department, claimed that Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) suffers from delusion disorder. “In a nutshell, Senator McConnell believes that every congregation of people t...

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Jamal Khashoggi - Glasses Found

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi - Glasses Found

After a chance discovery, earlier in the day, of what might turn out to be the nose of murdered dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, another breakthrough has just been made in the same area of Istanbul - a pair of spectacles that, on the face of it...

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Mohammed bin Salman Has Eaten Jamal Khashoggi

Funny story: Mohammed bin Salman Has Eaten Jamal Khashoggi

Mohammed bin Salman, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, whose full and extraordinary name is Mohammed bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Said, has eaten Jamal Khashoggi, it has been claimed. The Prince, 33, had been extremely vague about the whereabouts o...

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Saudi Arabian Consul's Words Taken Out Of Context, Claims Riyadh

Funny story: Saudi Arabian Consul's Words Taken Out Of Context, Claims Riyadh

As the situation surrounding the disappearance of Washington Post contributor, Jamal Khashoggi, becomes ever more dire, and as the likelihood of the truth ever becoming known diminishes, the Saudi Arabian government has asked everyone to take a deep...

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