Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 25 November 2018

image for Roddy McDowall Was A Chimp
Cornelius at the 1988 Academy Awards

Secret US military medical files revealed to the public this week under the Freedom of Information Act, show that the being known to humans as actor 'Roddy McDowall' was nothing more than an oversized chimpanzee.

The actor passed away in 1998, and the 20-year 'silence period' having expired, the information is no longer restricted.

McDowall, real name 'Cornelius', whose true history before 1968 is not known, shot to stardom in that year's hit movie, 'Planet of the Apes', also appearing in the autobiographical 1971 follow-up, 'Return From the Planet of the Apes'. It's thought that McDowall, himself, may have been the originator of the concept for the books that the movies were based upon, and not Pierre Boulle.

McDowall's amazing ability to 'mimic' the behavior, antics and movement of an ape, are obviously why he was so successful in gaining the part in the movies, and why he was selected to play 'Galen' in the subsequent popular TV offshoot.

Some have pointed out that McDowall had starred in movies before 1968, such as 'Murder in the Family' (1938), 'John Halifax' (1938), and 'Dead Man's Shoes' (1940), but the explanation seems to be that this 'pre-history' was invented post-1968, and made possible when McDowall traveled back through time in the spacecraft used in the original 'Planet of the Apes' movie, assisted by Charlton Heston, to change the course of history.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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