Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 17 November 2018

image for Dallas Cowboys To Erect A Jeff Rohrer Statue Outside The AT&T Stadium
Rohrer statue (proposal)

Reacting to the surprising news that one of their former players, Jeff Rohrer, is to marry a man, the Dallas Cowboys have signalled their support for him by revealing plans that they are to erect a statue of the former linebacker outside their AT&T Stadium.

Rohrer, 59, who was a Dallas player between 1982 and 1989, was always known as something of a tough guy, but never a gay guy for Chrissakes!

Despite this, Rohrer's former Cowboys teammates have reacted favorably to the unexpected news, with only one issuing a death threat. The Cowboy administration has given its full backing to calls for a statue to commemorate the player's bravery in 'coming out' about his sexuality, although this may have been forced upon him when he was seen 'out on the town', holding hands in an unlinebackerly manner with husband-to-be, Joshua Ross, 36.

A spokesman for the Cowboys said:

"It's a little worrying when you wonder what was going through Jeff's mind all through the eighties at the line of scrimmage, or in the locker room after games, but that's all in the past, thank fuck."

The statue is due to be erected sometime in the next 1,000 years.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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