Written by Paxton Quigley

Thursday, 22 November 2018

image for The Spoof's Black Friday Deal Faces Customer Backlash
The Spoof's Black Friday deal is no longer available

Customers caused uproar when The Spoof's Black Friday bargain buy turned out not to be a bargain after all. On a first come first served basis from midnight on Friday, The Spoof's offer of a free subscription to the first million customers was soon being lambasted all over the internet, with thousands of derogatory comments being posted on Shitfacebook and Instagranny:

Call this a bargain? I can get it for half the price. Lord Alan Sugar, Tottenham.
You cannot be serious. J. McEnroe, Wimbledon.
You wankers couldn't organise a bargain buy in a charity shop. Sir Philip Green, not for much longer.
I'd rather pick up a free Daily Telegraph in Waitrose. Monkey Woods, Battambang.
I find this offer to be rather uplifting. Jacob Rees-Smug, 49 1/2.
Serves you right for insulting me constantly. Jose M., Old Trafford
God's punishment for employing that satanic bastard Paxton Quigley. Il Papa, The Vatican.

Newly appointed marketing director for The Spoof, Paxton Quigley, came out fighting in defence of his role in the debacle:

"I'm being hung out to dry here. All I did was make a suggestion to the editorial board Mark Lowton, Dr Billingsgate, Sir Geoffroy Cockface and Monkey Woods on how to increase the readership and advertising revenue. OK, so what if my proposal did include a two hour Powerpoint presentation and an in-depth board discussion complete with an all night booze up our local Wetherspoon's, the Stoat and Gobbler? I didn't mean it to be taken seriously. I will not resign."

The Spoof's board of directors is unavailable for comment as they are currently in hiding while considering Mr Quigley's position.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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