Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 6 November 2018

image for Woman Kicks Man In Gonads
Don't mess with the Stasi

There was a painful end to a short conversation on the London Tube this morning, when a man who had tried to chat up a female fellow passenger received a kick in the gonads for his trouble.

John O'Gape was travelling on the Northern Line having boarded at Moorgate. He was intending to get off at Tooting Broadway, but when stunning East German-born, Helga Kleb, got on at Elephant & Castle, he put his plans on 'hold'.

Dressed in a black patent-plastic raincoat, a denim mini-skirt, 6-inch cream high heels, and, as far as Mr O'Gape was concerned, nothing else, he sidled up to her as inconspicuously as he could.

This, however, wasn't inconspicuous enough, though, and Kleb ignored his leering, his 'enquiry' about the time, and other sundry inanities, until she made her move to alight at Stockwell. O'Gape followed, maintaining a distance of about 6 feet behind her, and when they had reached the street outside the station, he said:

"Excuse me, darlin."

Miss Kleb turned on a sixpence, and, with agility and accuracy, planted her foot squarely in the lecherous lech's testicles with resounding force, and he crumpled in a heap with his mouth agape. She took a step back, and told him:

"It's just after half past eight."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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