Extraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 10 November 2018


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Tumescent, rock hard asteroids are common in space

Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and flew off in another direction.

It is the first interstellar object which is believed to come from outside the solar system, and it caused a stir when it was observed, because of its shape as much as its origin.

"It's basically a giant penis," said astronomer Geoffetta Pornhub. "I mean, I was watching my computer screen, and I thought, 'Wow, that's a big one.' It's really excited us."

Oumuamua was thought to be of natural origin, but after closer analysis, scientists think the huge rock may have been deliberately carved into the shape of a phallus by aliens, before being sent into a trajectory that would take it past the Earth.

When asked why aliens would send such a bizarre projectile, extraterrestrial expert and philosopher Jeff Xtube thought he knew the reason. "It appears that Earth has just been accepted into a kind of intergalactic version of Tinder, and we just got sent a dick pic."

He added, "Unfortunately, the asteroid swiped left as it flew away from us, so I don't think we'll be seeing it again."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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