Brexit Couple To Divorce

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

image for Brexit Couple To Divorce
In happier times before Brexit: the Foaters

The government's inability to come up with a firm plan for Brexit, and the uncertainty for the future this has brought, are being cited as "contributory factors" in the break-up of a Berkshire couple's marriage.

Lee and Ramona Foater have been married for 35 years, and have two grown-up children, but are to separate due to constant disputes over Britain's future with Europe. Indeed, the 'divorce' that is Brexit, exactly mirrors what is happening to the Foaters.

"Yes," said Lee, who owns a garage in Reading, "it's ironic really. We lived happily for all those years, dealing with a host of difficult situations along the way, but nothing came between us, and we stood firm for each other. Then, something like Brexit comes along, and we just can't see eye-to-eye!"

Ramona, who opposes the decision to leave the EU, said:

"We just can't stand the sight of each other anymore. He blames the EU for all of our woes, but he just can't see past the end of his nose, which, incidentally, I've just started to realise, is massive."

Their children, Francine and Gerry, say they wished they knew how to save their parents union. They've tried to organise regular meetings to mediate between the two sides, but admit they have failed, and that the separation cannot now be stopped. Friends have said, however, that it just might be worth having one last vote ... er, I mean, attempt at reconciliation, before putting the final nail in the coffin of the marriage. The Foaters have scuppered this.

"'Bloody foreigners! Bloody foreigners! Bloody foreigners! They've taken all our jobs! They've taken all our jobs! they've taken all our jobs! Send 'em back! Send 'em back! Send 'em back!" laughed Ramona, imitating her soon-to-be ex-husband.

"Bloody Ramona the Remoaner!" said Lee.

A friend of the Foaters, said:

"They've had a long time together. There's been dialogue on both sides, but it looks like they're just going to have to go their own separate ways."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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