Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

image for Brexit Agreement Reached!
It's a done deal!

In a stunning turnaround, and against all the odds, the EU and the UK government put aside their previous differences on the Brexit deal, and finally reached an agreement to suit both sides: they agreed to disagree.

The two factions, who had previously not been able to agree on issues as small as what time they would take coffee breaks, let alone issues on trade, a single market, custom house rules, immigration, and borders, have today been able to come around the table, put their heads together and finalise a plan which can benefit both parties: a stand-off.

Prime Minister, Theresa May, read from a prepared speech as she told MPs in the House of Commons:

"My government has shown great determination in its application of diplomacy, knowledge and skill, in ensuring a set of conditions that will be beneficial to the people of this country," adding, "or, at least, that's what it says here."

A similar tone could be heard in Brussels. Jean-Claude Juncker, who I had never even heard of until I googled "EU leaders", said:

"Those doltish Brits can have it their way. We have been patient, but patience has its limits. If they think they can do things better on their own, let them try. But I hope they don't come running back in a couple of years when all has gone to shit. They would be wasting their time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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