Infamous, global prankster, genius, and spreader of 'good news' not 'fake news', Jaggedone, has just launched his latest adventure on internet radio (that's fake BTW) called; 'It's Good News Week!!
Sick to death of all the bad news, and nearly on the brink of suicide, it's Jaggedone's final attempt to put a smile on the face of a clown ( my god, they're creepy too!)
Well this week's good news starts right here and here are the main topics:
1) The Mexican / US Border has been turned into Disneyland and that's a real 'gas!'
2) Brexit has been sent to space on a one-way journey on a Virgin spaceship piloted by Sir Richard Branson with BOJO, Mogg, and Farage on board, Yipee!!
3) Since retiring, Angela Merkel has discarded her many colored coats (Joseph was jealous) and has vowed to appear naked on 'Strictly Come Dancing' (Deutsche Version) partnering Mrs May in a lesbian tango, WOW!
4) Kim Jong has imploded!
5) Putin has decided to redirect his gas pipelines via Saudi Arabia and hopes they leak! What a Gas!
1) Mourinho has stopped blaming his players and decided to blame his dog instead!
2) Lewis Hamilton is the fastest man on the planet but couldn't catch Usain Bolt with a supermarket trolley if he tried!
3) Rugby Union players with cauliflower ears are all gay because women prefer multi-millionaire footy players with fat Rolls Royce's and fat bank accounts!
1) The one and only Erskine Quint has done a Lazarus, swum up the AMAZON (You craft buggar Jaggedone), avoided Marlon Brando in a straw hut, and shagged 50 beautiful Amazonian's on the way; quite Apocalyptic actually!
2) Reincarnated, Volga Olga, 85 year-old nymphomaniac and Russian hag has told Putin to stuff himself not me (who?).
So there you have it happy newsreaders and tabloid crunchers, at last some good news to avoid you all topping yourselves!
BTW) All money earned through 'It's Good News Week' will be given to US suicidal, homeless readers of tabloid bullshit who cannot afford their social insurance ever since Obama vanished down the Mississippi!
It's a laugh a minute here!!!