Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 19 November 2018


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Man Tells Wife He Has No Idea Why Amazon Sent Giant Black Item To Him
She's sneaky!

We have all, at some time or other in our lives, received mail that was intended for someone else, and that's what one man told his wife yesterday, when a parcel from internet mail order company, Amazon, was delivered to his Los Angeles home, containing a giant "black item".

Ron Smith, 48, was curious when the package arrived on Friday, and, even though he 100% knew he hadn't ordered anything from Amazon, he opened the box to find out what was inside.

Excitement turned to embarrassment, and, as his equally-curious wife joined him for the unwrap, Ron wished that he'd just returned it to the mail depot. What greeted them is best left to Ron's wife, Telulah, 23, who only really married him for his money:

"Ron was aghast. He wrung his hands like Lady Macbeth, at the 12"-long black plastic rod that stared out of the box at us, begging to be used. He pleaded with me that he knew nothing, NOTHING about it. I tried to look furious."

Ron's name had been on the parcel, and it had come to the right address. Even so, Ron was adamant:

"What would I want with a foot-long, black, plastic 'thing'?" he asked.

But, there was more to this than met the eye. Telulah:

"I gave him the old 'I don't believe you' look, and he went off to work. Once he was out of the way, I got busy with my new toy. He shouldn't leave his computer open all the time - he's so trusting!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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