Donald J. Trump, leader of the free world, announced today that he would undergo surgery to remove his naughty bits and replace them with kinder gentler naughty bits, those of a broad!
The president was quoted as saying, "This whole Me Too movement has gotten me thinking. Why not me too?"
"No one cares more about women than me. And now I'm going to prove it."
"I'm thinking of changing my name to Crystal, or possible Tiffney."
"For the sake of fairness, Melania will be transitioning to male. We won't tolerate favoritism. And this way our relationship can remain a wholesome heterosexual one, as described in the Bible. The one Northern Europeans use."
He then added, "I like prophets who don't get captured."