There were 208 spoof news stories published in August 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: The Greatest Escape: A Magician's Tale

The Greatest Escape: A Magician's Tale

I’m baaaaaaaaack! Not much to brag about though. Here I am, lying on the train tracks in a dark, dreary NYC subway tunnel under Grand Central Station. Just been hit by a speeding train, my body is bloody and battered. Ouch! I’m a magician, so I’ll just have to work some magic to pull myself together and get out of here. I’ve been dead since 1926, I died of peritonitis, but I’m not gonna let...

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Funny story: Double Trouble

Double Trouble

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. That was several years ago. They haven’t been seen since. Okay, okay, strictly speaking, the twins didn’t go to “fetch a pail of water.” It didn’t happen exactly like the nursery rhyme. But they DID go up a hill and were never seen coming down. That’s a definite. And water played a big, big part in the story of the two missing seventh...

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Funny story: Shock as Sir Elton John turns to Country Music

Shock as Sir Elton John turns to Country Music

Sir Elton John may have said "let one of your fucking country singers do it" on hearing the rumour that he was to perform at President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration, but deep down, it seems he is a fan of the mawkishly boring and notoriously homo...

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Funny story: Man Wakes Up To Find That He Can Recite Pi To A Million Places

Man Wakes Up To Find That He Can Recite Pi To A Million Places

There was a surprise in store for a man in Battambang on Sunday morning, when, woken suddenly from his slumbers by a carhorn outside his window, he started to recite the mathematical constant, Pi. Moys Kenwood, 55, was a reasonable Math student at...

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Funny story: Trump Brothers Withdraw All of the U.S.Treasury's Money and Lose it All on Roulette

Trump Brothers Withdraw All of the U.S.Treasury's Money and Lose it All on Roulette

Las Vegas, NV Donald Trump, Jr., Eric Trump, and their brother-in-law, Jared Kushner, talked Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin into giving them a blank treasury check to bet with because they had a "sure thing." "Well, Donnie and I were talking ab...

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Funny story: Chimpanzee Star Of 1996 Film “Ed” Accused Of Sexual Harassment

Chimpanzee Star Of 1996 Film “Ed” Accused Of Sexual Harassment

A female crew member and a male actor from the 1996 smash hit film “Ed” have come forward to accuse the film’s primate star of sexual harassment. The events, first reported by TMZ and the Huffington Post, allegedly occurred during the film’s produ...

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Funny story: Elvis Presley Sightings Suggest He May Still Be Alive

Elvis Presley Sightings Suggest He May Still Be Alive

The King is Dead! Or is he? The death of Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, on 16 August 1977, shook the world to its very foundations, and set in motion a concerted effort by heartbroken fans to prove that it was all a hoax, and that h...

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Funny story: PETA Rescues Animal Crackers; Poachers and Hunters Overjoyed

PETA Rescues Animal Crackers; Poachers and Hunters Overjoyed

Nabiscuit, owner of Humbug's Animal Crackers, under pressure from the People for the Extermination of Animals (PETA), has done “the unthinkable,” Greg Shee Ann, the Acting Director of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, whined. The compan...

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Funny story: Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Funny story: US Tomahawk Missiles Hit Iran Transportation Hub: 21 Camels Destroyed

US Tomahawk Missiles Hit Iran Transportation Hub: 21 Camels Destroyed

BILLINGSGATE POST: US ships in the Persian Gulf unleashed 67 deadly Tomahawk missiles this morning, blowing up a confirmed body count of 21 dromedaries, the major source of commercial transportation in Iran. These camels carry vital shipments of dat...

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Funny story: Trump Buys Huge, Fortified Estate in Russia

Trump Buys Huge, Fortified Estate in Russia

Mar-A-Lago, FL President Obama's secret bugs in the White House have revealed that President Trump has been trying to purchase a very large estate in Russia, surrounded by a moat and a BIG WALL. He has finally closed on it, after securing loans from...

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Funny story: Physicists Replace String Theory With Fidget Spinner Theory

Physicists Replace String Theory With Fidget Spinner Theory

Claiming that String Theory, the theory that the universe is composed of tiny strings which behave like both waves and particles, makes too much sense, and is too intuitive, and must therefore be false, physicists at a big impressive conference met a...

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Funny story: Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration

Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration

Economists have predicted that once the economy begins to tank due to high tariffs and voodoo trickle-down theories, some of the most popular investments will once more be Ponzi Schemes as investors once again look for a sure thing, with low investm...

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Funny story: Dinosaur Extinction Re-examined By God Squad's Teacher John

Dinosaur Extinction Re-examined By God Squad's Teacher John

Dinosaurs, which were thought to have disappeared from Earth more than 65 million years ago, did not, according to a teaching colleague of Spoof writer, Moys Kenwood. Teacher John, a Science 'expert', made the astounding claim during a long lectur...

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Funny story: St. Jude Children’s Hospital To Host “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”

St. Jude Children’s Hospital To Host “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”

Earlier today, St. Jude Children’s Hospital confirmed that they will be debuting their much anticipated “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”. Children under the age of sixteen are encouraged to sign up prior to the December 1st deadline, so long as they are...

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Funny story: Caterpillar Death Reveals How Gruesome Nature Is

Caterpillar Death Reveals How Gruesome Nature Is

A caterpillar killed outside a house in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, revealed just how disgusting Nature really is. The animal, a Black Fuzzy Caterpillar, about two inches in length, as thick as an adult finger, and seemingly cove...

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Funny story: Still MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues

Still MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues

Back by popular demand! We’ve been busy searching and nabbing the latest gems from your cherished lefty-progressive radicals. And now they’re here online! As always, to ensure you get your share of these treasures, you’ll need to move faster than...

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Funny story: Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

In a case that is sure to have the science world unravelling, a man who claimed that he could 'read people's minds', and tell them exactly what they were thinking about, did just that. The man made the astonishing claim in front of a large crowd o...

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Funny story: Trump Signs Executive Order Requiring All Scientific Discoveries to Be Approved by Him

Trump Signs Executive Order Requiring All Scientific Discoveries to Be Approved by Him

Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump appeared at a signing ceremony this morning to implement his new executive order requiring scientists to get approval from him before releasing new scientific discoveries. "I'm only doing this to protect Americans.

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Funny story: Box Office: ‘The Meg’ to Swallow a HUGE $60 Million-Plus Launch

Box Office: ‘The Meg’ to Swallow a HUGE $60 Million-Plus Launch

Jason Statham's big budget epic “The Meg” is eyeing a North American opening weekend in the $60 million range, early tracking shows. The lower end of estimates come in at $48 million, while others are speculating earnings as high as $65 million.

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Funny story: Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer

Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer

Spoof writers were said to be 'satisfied' last night after months of patient negotiations with Spoofboss Mark Lowton finally paid off. The writers emerged from the Lowton residence just before midnight on Monday evening, and set fire to a wheelie...

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Funny story: Paine Fights Moe Howard, Eagles in “I Plan to Kill You Now, Too”

Paine Fights Moe Howard, Eagles in “I Plan to Kill You Now, Too”

Hollywood is all aflutter for the upcoming release of action movie star Jordie Paine’s new summer blockbuster, I Plan to Kill You Now, Too. It’s the highly-anticipated sequel to the 2016 film, I Plan to Kill You Now, in which the musclebound assas...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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Funny story: Abba to Reform with Grayson Perry

Abba to Reform with Grayson Perry

The music world is agog at the news that Swedish purveyors of mind-numbing middle of the road nondescript pop Abba is to reform for a world tour but without Agnetha, blonde bombshell and former "Rear of the Year". Agnetha Fältskog is now living as...

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Funny story: Volga Olga to star in Hollywood blockbuster called 'Lethal Pussy 69!'

Volga Olga to star in Hollywood blockbuster called 'Lethal Pussy 69!'

Insatiable, 85-year-old, super-nymphomaniac, Russian hag, Volga Olga, has had her (wet) dream come true and will play the leading role in a Hollywood blockbuster directed by none other than Quentin Tarantino! Volga Olga came to fame in the fabulou...

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Funny story: There She Was--Miss America

There She Was--Miss America

It was okay for Gretchen Carlson to strut her stuff onstage during the 1989 Miss America Beauty Pageant, but that was a looonnnnnngggggggg time ago. Carlson, who was born (some say spawned) in 1966, was only 29 then, and she had, according to the jud...

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Funny story: The Real Reason Liam Left Cheryl

The Real Reason Liam Left Cheryl

Liam Payne from Boyband One Direction, has revealed the real reason he left his twice-married wife Cheryl, today. In a typically candid and outspoken interview, Liam revealed that Cheryl was obsessed with her figure, and refused to get pregnant in...

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Funny story: “So You Think You Can Dance” To Feature First Quadriplegic Dance Crew

“So You Think You Can Dance” To Feature First Quadriplegic Dance Crew

In the midst of declining ratings over the past 15 seasons of So You Think You Can Dance, producer Jessica Lively confirmed today that the show has been picked up for an additional season to premier in 2019. Despite the dwindling viewership, she...

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Funny story: Barry Chuckle Has Chuckled His Last Chuckle

Barry Chuckle Has Chuckled His Last Chuckle

Barry Chuckle, one half of the Chuckle Brothers, the zany, chuckling, brothers who caused so much chuckling in the 1980s, 90s and in the early part of this century, has chuckled his very last chuckle, I can confirm. Barry, 73, had been ill for som...

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Funny story: Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Erkan Mustafa, the child actor who was one of the stars in children's teatime drama 'Grange Hill', has claimed that he wasn't fat, he just had big bones. Mustafa, who played overweight Roland Browning - nickname 'Roly' - could be seen almost perpe...

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Funny story: Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...

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Funny story: Amazon announces the 'Hey you!' digital assistant for adults

Amazon announces the 'Hey you!' digital assistant for adults

Amazon took the technology industry by surprise today when it announced 'Hey you!', a new digital assistant aimed specifically at the adult home market. Unlike the company's market-leading 'Alexis', which responds to all questions with standard, i...

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Funny story: New Study Suggests Your Pets Not Actually Children

New Study Suggests Your Pets Not Actually Children

In a shocking study released by Arizona State University on Monday, researchers suggested that your pets may not actually be children. The consensus has attracted criticism from pet owners and scientists alike, who have nothing else tethering them to...

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Funny story: Heatwave in Amsterdam brings 'Gays' in their 'Gay Parade' to boiling point!

Heatwave in Amsterdam brings 'Gays' in their 'Gay Parade' to boiling point!

It seems that the incredible European heatwave has more consequences than hot, sweaty bodies, people escaping to waterholes, burnt grass, forest fires, lack of booze, tarmac melting, OAPs dropping dead, and our world is nearing an apocalyptic end, NO...

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Funny story: Piss up in a German brewery ends up in plastic boob battle!!

Piss up in a German brewery ends up in plastic boob battle!!

Dusseldorf; Saturday 18th August...After being invited to a super wedding at a German private brewery, Jaggedone, boob looker imperial, found out there was much to be observed after a number of German Fraulein's decided to hang it all out! As the...

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Funny story: Beatles Getting Back Together

Beatles Getting Back Together

At a London press conference, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr announced their plans to get the rock group back together and start touring again. The plans involve cloning John Lennon and George Harrison in a procedure costing an estimated 21 Billi...

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Funny story: Merde On The Orient Express

Merde On The Orient Express

There was a major controversy in South London on Saturday afternoon, when French football supporters travelling to a game in Leytonstone were confronted by a problem they could not, in their wildest dreams, ever have imagined - a merde on the Orient...

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Funny story: NASA postpones mission to the Sun

NASA postpones mission to the Sun

Bright thing in the sky, great lighter of days and harbinger of daytime. The Sun is something that most of us see every day (but not every night). NASA have promised for years to send a mission to conquer the fiery body, but have run into problems.

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...

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Funny story: God Admits He Is An Atheist

God Admits He Is An Atheist

The world was left stunned today when the almighty God descended from on high to announce that He, the Alpha and Omega, has officially become an atheist. The surprising revelation had an even more surprising origin, as the Father confirmed that the c...

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Funny story: FBI detains Trump family pet poodle; canine said to be cooperating with investigators

FBI detains Trump family pet poodle; canine said to be cooperating with investigators

Washington, DC In another sign that the Mueller team charges with investigating Russian Collusion is closing in in the President himself, the French Poodle “Fifi”, a gift from the President to his wife Melania, has been detained by FBI special age...

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Funny story: Satan Uncomfortable With Overwhelming Success

Satan Uncomfortable With Overwhelming Success

In a candid one-on-one interview, Satan, the prince of darkness and ruler of all seven circles of Hell, confirmed that he is uncomfortable with the overwhelming success he’s acheived in the realm of mortals. While his influence had always been preval...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Revels in Absurdity of His Existence

Nashville Man Revels in Absurdity of His Existence

Kenny Hartwell of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to abandon his preconceived notions about what his life should be like and revel in the absurdity of his existence. “It's going well,” said Kenny of his new approach to life. “For instance,...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Sticks Foot in Mouth at Yoga

Nashville Man Sticks Foot in Mouth at Yoga

After hearing all his East Nashville friends rave about the restorative effects of yoga, Trey Mulligan of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to check out a class for himself – only to wind up sticking his foot in his mouth. “It was intense,” s...

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Funny story: New Facebook Study Confirms You’re Right About Everything

New Facebook Study Confirms You’re Right About Everything

Earlier today, Facebook released a study that has officially confirmed that you’re right about absolutely everything. The study, which was conducted over the course of your 10+ years on the social media platform, and in no way compromised your privac...

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Funny story: John L. Way says "hell no" to Colon Pencildick

John L. Way says "hell no" to Colon Pencildick

Denvah, Collie Raddo—Has-been NFL quarterback John L. Way, who now manages to manage the Denvah Broncs, said, “No way will Colon Pencildick play foosball for my team. He stinks.” The has-been quarterback and general manager of the Broncs added, “W...

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Funny story: DemocRATs want to live large "like Putin"

DemocRATs want to live large "like Putin"

La La land, USA—In a follow-up to a Gal Lupp poll in which 51% of DemocRATs confessed to preferring socialism to capitalism, respondents to the poll gave their reasons for their preference. “Why work when I can get stuff free?” Freddy the Freeload...

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Funny story: Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Elon Musk today threw his weight behind the Trump administration's plan to form a new branch of the armed forces, the United States Space Force. "The first troop carrier to space will be the TEZLA MACH 25!" declared Musk. "We must be ready, not on...

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Funny story: Man Cut Finger On Door Latch, And Almost Bled To Death

Man Cut Finger On Door Latch, And Almost Bled To Death

A teacher in a hurry to urinate was left ruing his decision to stop and lock a toilet door today, after he cut his finger on the metal latch, and almost bled to death. Moys Kenwood, 55, was, aside from two receptionists who were working at the fro...

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Funny story: President Trump Resigns After A Job Well Done

President Trump Resigns After A Job Well Done

Citing his unbelievable success at everything he has ever attempted, Donald Trump resigned from the office of president of the United States. I have achieved all I have set out to accomplish in record time. My ratings were greater than any other...

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Funny story: Wife's Pregnancy Test Had Man On Tenterhooks

Wife's Pregnancy Test Had Man On Tenterhooks

A man who allowed himself to get somewhat 'carried away' during coitus with his wife, had an uncomfortable wait today, whilst she performed a home pregnancy test on herself. The man, who is not normally so irresponsible, is a man who you do not kn...

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Funny story: Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani: Truth isn't truth and Trump isn't Trump

Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani: Truth isn't truth and Trump isn't Trump

In further evidence of the phantasmagorical world in which President Donald Trump and his minions are living, the US President's lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, has claimed that "truth isn't truth" during a television interview. Mr Giuliani was arguing tha...

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Funny story: Fish Cheat Death In Daring Escape Bid

Fish Cheat Death In Daring Escape Bid

Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon were on alert for a time this morning, after two fish went on the run from a high-security bucket. Local resident, Sawon Kenwood, had purchased the fish yesterday afternoon, with a view to cooking them,...

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Funny story: Woman Flicked Her Friend's Bean In Full View Of Boss

Woman Flicked Her Friend's Bean In Full View Of Boss

An office worker at a major financial company in New York, landed herself in hot water this afternoon, after an unsavory incident in the firm's canteen. Marsha Wibblestein, 22, was having lunch with co-workers, Gretchen Hilder, Tammy Papp and Bren...

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Funny story: Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

It's no secret that Americans love] processed foods or that plenty more love Jesus – and Whole Foods CEO John Mackey recently announced that the company will be tapping into local sentiment by bringing specialized branches to certain markets, beginni...

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Funny story: Google Spying On Its Users

Google Spying On Its Users

Google is spying on its users and tracking their movements in a secretive way, according to stuff I read on the internet. So that they can feel safe, and to conceal their whereabouts, Google's users are usually advised to turn off their 'Location History', but this has been found to be insufficient, and that Google are still able to track users' locations, unless the user also disables the opti...

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Funny story: No More Monkeying Around!

No More Monkeying Around!

Congressman Ron DeSantis, now the GOP candidate in Florida's upcoming gubernatorial election, has drawn major country-wide consternation for using the word “monkey” when discussing the idea of voting for his new opponent, Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gil...

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Funny story: Nation Forgets Why They Are Outraged

Nation Forgets Why They Are Outraged

In an almost-unprecedented event, the entirety of the United States seemingly forgot what it was that they were outraged about this morning. The phenomenon hasn’t been experienced since mid-September of 2013, and experts are hard at work to determine...

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Funny story: Spunk Stains Cost Man Job

Spunk Stains Cost Man Job

There was more than a touch of regret for one prospective employee this afternoon, when a Pennsylvania man turned up for his job interview with unsightly spunk stains on his clothing. Mark Virile, 26, from Pittsburgh, was attending an interview fo...

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Funny story: Elderly minister emits giant turd, names it Bernard, enrolls it in Harvard!

Elderly minister emits giant turd, names it Bernard, enrolls it in Harvard!

The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina held a news conference this morning in Raleigh to announce that he had, in the last day, emitted a giant turd. The emission weighed six pounds, seven ounces and McCorkle stated, "It was the...

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Funny story: "I Will Build A Space Force and The Martians Will Pay For It!"

"I Will Build A Space Force and The Martians Will Pay For It!"

The president signed an executive order diverting all the people's pensions into his new program, whose new motto will be "To Infinity And Beyond", in honor of the projected budget. "And the best part is the Martians are going to pay for it. Trust...

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Funny story: CIA Plotting Overthrow of Trump?

CIA Plotting Overthrow of Trump?

Anonymous and usually unreliable sources in the intelligence community, who are on rare occasion somewhat right, have told The Spoof that high ranking officials in the Central Intelligence Agency have a contingency plan to replace President Donald J.

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Funny story: WFFC reviews collusion blues and tap dance show with Skripal Chorale for the 2018 midterms

WFFC reviews collusion blues and tap dance show with Skripal Chorale for the 2018 midterms

WFFC (World Federation of Fed Up Citizens) reps have come forward to evaluate the current roadshow out of Washington: “The Collusion Blues Festival.” This performance has been touring the globe on the theme Trump is controlled by Vladimir Putin, w...

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Funny story: Lots of Nominees for Asshole of the Year!

Lots of Nominees for Asshole of the Year!

Every year, the list of nominees grows longer, but this year, there has been unprecedented growth. This year's list includes: * Kim Jong-Un * Vladimir Putin * Bill Cosby * Sarah Huckabee Sanders * Alex Jones Runners-up were Roseanne Barr and Harvey Weinstein. But the actual winner was too late to be added to the nominating ballot, but won by a landslide as a write-in candidate. And...

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Funny story: Ratting Out Trump

Ratting Out Trump

When Donald J. Trump tweeted that White House attorney, Don McGahn, wouldn’t: “Rat him out like John Dean” or words to that effect, Trump was confessing that McGahn had some “Rat stuff” to hide about Donald Trump’s criminal behavior. Lots and lot...

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Funny story: Steve McClaren Seen Holding A Towel

Steve McClaren Seen Holding A Towel

Steve McClaren, the new Queens Park Rangers manager, is thought to be 'reconsidering his position', after his side were treated to a 7-1 drubbing by West Bromwich Albion at the Hawthorns, yesterday. The former England boss was seen boarding the te...

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Funny story: Trump To Be Cryogenically Frozen

Trump To Be Cryogenically Frozen

President Donald Trump has announced that he will be meeting scientists later today to discuss his new plan for the future which will involve him being cryogenically frozen. Trump, 72, said he 'hatched' the idea recently during the furore which su...

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Funny story: Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

An obese woman who must have weighed around 400lbs also had breath so foul-smelling that many people talking to her would insist upon her observing a buffer, or 'exclusion zone' for their own protection. Angelina Jung, around 38, was a supervisor...

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Funny story: Trump Declares The Spoof to be "Enemy of the People"

Trump Declares The Spoof to be "Enemy of the People"

It was the fate of The Spoof to be singled out in a spat with "Leader of the Free World" President Donald Trump. The orange baby has repeatedly criticised the media before and during his presidency and Mr Trump's attacks have drawn criticism from eve...

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Funny story: Satan Resigns

Satan Resigns

The CEO of the underworld released a short statement this morning: I hereby announce my resignation, not because I've done anything wrong, mind you, but because my work here is done. My bucket list for the world is complete. They say it's best...

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Funny story: The Ticking Time Bomb: The Real Story Of Russian-FBI Collusion

The Ticking Time Bomb: The Real Story Of Russian-FBI Collusion

BILLINGSGATE POST: The metronomic ticking of the time bomb that would provide kaleidoscopic evidence that the FBI was colluding with the Russians was forcing Special Agent Slim Everdingle into making a virtual Hobson’s Choice; whether to go with his...

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Funny story: President Trump Bans Spoof Stories About Himself

President Trump Bans Spoof Stories About Himself

US President Donald Trump, has addressed the US press corps at the White House this afternoon, and has placed a full and complete ban on ALL spoof stories about himself, especially ones that portray him in a bad light. Mr Trump claims he tired of...

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Funny story: Trump Outlines His Ransom Plans for the U.S.

Trump Outlines His Ransom Plans for the U.S.

Mir-a-lago, FL President Trump has promised to shut down the U.S. Government if his Border Wall doesn't start getting built. Besides building the wall, today Trump added more items to his ransom demands: 1. Every business and home should display h...

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Funny story: Scorpion Was In Man's Shoe

Scorpion Was In Man's Shoe

A major incident was narrowly averted in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, when a man discovered a horrible, ugly, black scorpion hiding in his shoe! Moys Kenwood, 55, was on his way out to work at around 6:30am, and sat down to put hi...

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Funny story: Young Man Suffers Severe Consequences For Not Properly Forwarding Chain Letter

Young Man Suffers Severe Consequences For Not Properly Forwarding Chain Letter

Danny Briggs, 28, was suffering a major 'bout' of severe depression last week and simply felt that he did not have the inner strength to go on. The sadness in his life was incredibly overwhelming, and the heart-piercing loneliness that he felt insid...

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Funny story: Longwood High School Welcomes Its New Counselor, Mr. Peter Grabber

Longwood High School Welcomes Its New Counselor, Mr. Peter Grabber

Longwood High School is proud to welcome its new School Counselor, Mr. Peter Grabber. Mr. Grabber was recently interviewed and hired by District Principal, Mr. Rod Whitestain, and his Assistant Principal, Ms. Oval Peckertracks. He will be replacing the school's previous counselor, Mr. Bendem Overfast. When asked why he chose 'student counseling' as a career path, Mr. Grabber said he was inspir...

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Funny story: In final battle of Mexican-American War, Tucker Carlson reclaims tacos for America

In final battle of Mexican-American War, Tucker Carlson reclaims tacos for America

On last night's state run media broadcast of Tucker Carlson Tonight, host Tucker Carlson reignited old hostilities that lay dormant for over 150 years. The issue: ownership of the disputed El Territorio de los Tacos. Halfway into a segment with ...

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Funny story: Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Paid content on behalf of Isis Recruitment Services, bomb crater, Syrian Desert. We know how you feel. You've done time in prison for shoplifting or burglary. You hate your job stacking shelves in Lidl or counting chicken nuggets. You've been thrown out of college for failing your accountancy exam. You're an incel, girls don't want to know you and Pornhub is your only outlet. You spend too much...

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Funny story: Trump Gives Speech About How He's Keeping His Campaign Promises

Trump Gives Speech About How He's Keeping His Campaign Promises

Miami, Texas President Trump is down in the polls as usual, and as usual, to boost his spirits, he went to another godforsaken town that still somehow loves him. Faux TV is carrying it live: "And so everyone can see that I will fulfill all my camp...

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Funny story: Lonely Man Discovers that He is Blessed

Lonely Man Discovers that He is Blessed

After years upon years of suffering severe emotional pain while writhing in the purgatory of loneliness, Roger Krobb, 39, finally looked at the married couples around him and decided that he was blessed. "I used to be lonely as a younger man grow...

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Funny story: Seven Year Old Wrongly Accused In Game Of Cops & Robbers

Seven Year Old Wrongly Accused In Game Of Cops & Robbers

Controversy embroiled Franklin Baxter Elementary today when seven-year-old, Lewis Blackman, was wrongly accused in a friendly game of Cops & Robbers during lunch recess. The young boy, who was participating in an adjacent game of Rock, Paper, Sci...

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Funny story: Trump Says He'll Retire From Politics When He's 100

Trump Says He'll Retire From Politics When He's 100

President Donald Trump has said he will retire from politics 'completely', when he reaches the age of 100. He told reporters at the White House that, though he believes he has much to give, there is also much he has to receive, and he fully intend...

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Funny story: Ancient Document Sheds Light on Trumps Scottish Ancestry

Ancient Document Sheds Light on Trumps Scottish Ancestry

It has been revealed that an ancient and valuable document has been found in the Outer Hebrides, part of Scotland, relating to POTUS Donald Trump's Scottish ancestry. The delicate parchment was discovered in a previously-unsearched chamber, deep b...

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Funny story: Google Agrees To Adjust Algorithm To Find Positive Trump Stories

Google Agrees To Adjust Algorithm To Find Positive Trump Stories

Google today agreed to adjust their Algorithm for their search engine to search for positive Trump stories. White house officials have been invited to observe this change and the technical aspects were explained to them, so they could understand.

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Funny story: Why Won't Trump Revoke Shrdlu's Security Clearance?

Why Won't Trump Revoke Shrdlu's Security Clearance?

BERKELEY, CA. Left Coast community organizer Etaoin Shrdlu. long time leader of a Berkeley anti-fascist protest movement, expressed outrage today when he saw the list of 10 critics of President Donald Trump who have been threatened with loss of thei...

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Funny story: Russian-FBI Collusion Part 2: The Secret Meeting Of Comey And Mueller

Russian-FBI Collusion Part 2: The Secret Meeting Of Comey And Mueller

BILLINGSGATE POST: Everdingle was wearing his standard issue Dickies Short Sleave Mechanics Coveralls with a V-Neck, Fruit-Of-The-Loom white tee shirt underneath. A 9mm Heckler & Koch MPS sub machine gun was strapped to his thigh. With his ta...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Dear Dr Quigley I suffer from recurrent migraines, but my GP always wants me to give a sample of semen whenever I see her, and she insists on helping me. Is this right? S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Lots of patients would love such personal service from their GP. It sounds like she is using the ancient Chinese practice of acuwankture to relieve your headaches and I am sure you feel much better afterw...

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Funny story: Aging Rocker Coming to a Bathroom Stall Near You

Aging Rocker Coming to a Bathroom Stall Near You

Aging rocket Mick Elliott says he loves playing small halls and theaters these days rather than large arenas and stadiums. It’s clearly a lie he tells himself because he could never fill up an arena if he paid people to attend. “You couldn’t pay m...

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Funny story: The Pre-Season Games

The Pre-Season Games

Professional “bitcher” and part time Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has claimed unless he’s allowed to sign all the players he wants, United could have a “very difficult season”. He is quoted as saying: "My CEO knows what I want. I k...

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Funny story: John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines

John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines

Before John McCain became too ill for much physical activity he had a 3-D image of his spine created that could then be duplicated with 3-D printers, using medical plastics accepted by the human body. John McCain's deal? He will allow any of the spin...

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Funny story: "Omarosa" - Trump Sings His Latest Tweet

"Omarosa" - Trump Sings His Latest Tweet

The White House. President Donald J. Trump's latest barbed tweet, smearing his former adviser, Omarosa, in a musical parody of the popular song, "Amapola," was sung by the president to a visiting group of white nationalists, who roared their approval...

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Funny story: CIA Director John Brennan Authorized Use Of Notorious Montana Pole

CIA Director John Brennan Authorized Use Of Notorious Montana Pole

BILLINGSGATE POST: The vastness of the rolling prairies and majestic mountains that stretch across Montana are miracles of Nature that have inspired the imagination of generations of cowboys and sheepherders who spent countless lonely nights under t...

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Funny story: Iran Retaliates: Dyspeptic Camel Befouls Trump’s Bed

Iran Retaliates: Dyspeptic Camel Befouls Trump’s Bed

BILLINGSGATE POST: As promised, the curse Iran President Hassan Rouhani levied on President Trump has been carried out. Inexplicably, a dyspeptic camel found its way past White House Secret Service Agents, and, in a show of extraordinary chutzpah,...

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Funny story: MBE for Ben Stokes for Brave Defence of Gay Friends During Attack

MBE for Ben Stokes for Brave Defence of Gay Friends During Attack

The England cricketer, Ben Stokes, was today put forward for an MBE for his brave defence of a gay couple on a night out in Bristol. Stokes, who was completely sober during the Bristol club-crawl with his mates, first encountered the gay couple af...

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Funny story: Sex Swap Couple's Romance Due To Typewriter Accident

Sex Swap Couple's Romance Due To Typewriter Accident

A 'sex swap' couple in Ontario have revealed how their meeting and subsequent romance were a complete accident, after both suffered from a bang on the head at work. Leslie Jones, 48, a bricklayer at the Straight-Up Building Company in the city, wa...

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Funny story: Giuliani Says That The Truth is NOT Truth!

Giuliani Says That The Truth is NOT Truth!

Today on Meet The Press, Rudy don't define anything Giuliani, claimed on National television the Truth is not Truth. This is why President Trump has not been willing to submit to questioning by Robert Mueller, for fear that Trump's Truth will not mat...

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Funny story: Trump pardons Paul Manafort, appoints him Secretary of the Treasury!

Trump pardons Paul Manafort, appoints him Secretary of the Treasury!

A defiant President Trump announced today that he is granting his ex campaign Manager Paul Manafort a full pardon for all past and future crimes. He then proceeded to appoint him Secretary of the Treasury. "He is a good man and loves his family and h...

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Funny story: Researchers Cut The Cheese in the Tomb of Ptooie Punte

Researchers Cut The Cheese in the Tomb of Ptooie Punte

Researchers in the tomb of Ptooie Punte, Mayor of Memphis Eygpt, discovered that the ancient mummy mayor was packing cheese! Indeed, that cheese contains contaminants that may have killed the pharoah and many in his family. "This cheese causes ext...

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Funny story: Trump Writes Letter On Behalf Of Donny Jr., And Sends It To Mueller Investigation

Trump Writes Letter On Behalf Of Donny Jr., And Sends It To Mueller Investigation

Mir-A-Lago, Florida President Donald Trump, feeling guilty about implicating his son, Donny, in the Mueller investigation, has written a letter to Mueller about his errant son. It has been leaked to the press: Dear Mr. Mueller, Please excuse Dona...

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Funny story: Nashville Narcissist Finally Figures Out Where His Father Utterly Failed Him

Nashville Narcissist Finally Figures Out Where His Father Utterly Failed Him

After years of fending off complaints about his self-centeredness, grandiosity and extreme narcissism, Trent Lockwood of Nashville, Tennessee, finally figured out that any emotional shortcoming on his part was due to the fact that, as a young boy, hi...

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Funny story: Women's Football Commentary Comes Under Fire

Women's Football Commentary Comes Under Fire

A survey amongst 3,000 football supporters of both sexes and all ages, to ascertain their opinions on female commentators of football matches, has concluded that the ladies should probably get back in their kitchens. Recent controversies involving...

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