Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 12 August 2018

image for Sex Swap Couple's Romance Due To Typewriter Accident
Two 'items' = an 'item'

A 'sex swap' couple in Ontario have revealed how their meeting and subsequent romance were a complete accident, after both suffered from a bang on the head at work.

Leslie Jones, 48, a bricklayer at the Straight-Up Building Company in the city, was a red-blooded, meat-eating, ice hockey-loving alpha male, who liked nothing better than to 'oil his throat' with ten or fifteen bottles of beer every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, then pick up some loose tart, and teach her something about Nature.

Lesley Jonas, 51, was a secretary in the same company. She was quiet, unassuming, polite, and diligent at work. In the evenings, she would crochet, or watch TV with her mom, with whom she lived. She had seen Leslie, but the two had never spoken.

On 1 April this year, Leslie had to report to the office to ask for an annual leave request form. Lesley reached into a cupboard above her head, but was too short - Leslie came to her rescue. But as the strapping builder leaned a little too far, he overstretched, and an old typewriter that had been gathering dust in the cupboard, toppled out, and onto the heads of both Lesley and Leslie. Both were knocked unconscious.

Two weeks later, when both had recovered and were back at work, they started to feel odd. Lesley no longer felt quite so feminine, but Leslie did. Now, it was Lesley who craved a beer and a brawl on the weekend, whilst Leslie thought of pressing flowers. Lesley:

"I no longer wanted to do 'girlie' things. I started to whistle at women in the street, and I now pee standing up. It's weird - I'm a guy!"

And Leslie:

"It was hard for me at first. My buddies didn't understand why I'd started wearing pretty summer dresses and shaving every day. They didn't 'get' the nail varnish deal, and the fragrant shampoo I'd begun using. Baking cookies just wasn't 'them'. They're OK now, to my face, anyway."

They say that 'opposites attract', and there was clearly a 'magnetism' between the pair. The inevitable happened - Lesley asked Leslie for a date. 'She' accepted, and they've been 'an item' for two months now.

The rest, as they also say, is 'itstory'.

Are they going to 'tie the knot'?

"We'll have to see," said Lesley. "My mom always said she wanted to see me walk up the aisle, but that was as a bride. I'm not sure whether or not she'll be able to take it seeing me as the groom!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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