NASA postpones mission to the Sun

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 11 August 2018

image for NASA postpones mission to the Sun
The problem with flying to the Sun is that you can't look at it while navigating

Bright thing in the sky, great lighter of days and harbinger of daytime. The Sun is something that most of us see every day (but not every night). NASA have promised for years to send a mission to conquer the fiery body, but have run into problems.

Astronaut Geoff Burns was scheduled to be on the first spaceship to land on the Sun, but has had cold feet - which he wouldn't have had, had he actually landed on the Sun. "I just couldn't go through with it," said the nervous spaceman. "At first, it sounded so exciting, but as the mission progressed, it became clear that it was a one-way trip."

Burns' suspicions were aroused when he discovered that the space capsule he was due to fly to the Sun only contained enough food to last him the journey there, and not back again. He then panicked, and, after asking fellow NASA scientists, discovered that he would probably be burned to death in the fiery atmosphere of the yellow thingy.

NASA are now considering applications from members of the public to make the mission to land on the Sun. "It'll be just like going to Mars, but the death will be quicker," said NASA spokesman Geoff Arse.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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