Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 9 August 2018

image for Man Wakes Up To Find That He Can Recite Pi To A Million Places
3.141592

There was a surprise in store for a man in Battambang on Sunday morning, when, woken suddenly from his slumbers by a carhorn outside his window, he started to recite the mathematical constant, Pi.

Moys Kenwood, 55, was a reasonable Math student at school, but nothing special. His mother taught him the Times Tables when he was 6 or 7, and they stuck; they have been useful ever since. Shopping trips have been a breeze, being able to tot up round about how much his bill is likely to be at the till. Logarithms, area and especially algebra, however, gave him problems until he forgot all about them at age 16.

It was a shock, then, when, on Sunday morning, he lifted his head from his pillow and told his wife:

"3.14."

She looked confused, but said nothing.

"3.1415926535," said Kenwood.

His wife had no time for this frivolity, and left the room. Kenwood, himself, was already 'seeing' a kaleidoscopic pattern surging through his mind. He went on:

"3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170 679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303
819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491
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116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830
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250855982655867089242612429473670193907727130706869170926462548423240748550366080136046689511840093
668609546325002145852930950000907151058236267293264537382104938724996699339424685516483261134146110
680267446637334375340764294026682973865220935701626384648528514903629320199199688285171839536691345
222444708045923966028171565515656661113598231122506289058549145097157553900243931535190902107119457
300243880176615035270862602537881797519478061013715004489917210022201335013106016391541589578037117
792775225978742891917915522417189585361680594741234193398420218745649256443462392531953135103311476
394911995072858430658361935369329699289837914941939406085724863968836903265564364216644257607914710
8699843157337496488352927693282207629."

His wife had, by this time, had her breakfast, fed and bathed the children, done the washing and hung it out, been to the market, made and eaten lunch, had a short nap, painted the garden fence, changed little Norman's diaper, got a 'Steak Bake and vegetables' tea ready for everyone, and sat down at the table, waiting for her husband.

Amazingly, Kenwood had not only inadvertently broken the world record for reciting Pi by some distance, he also knew that the previous best was achieved by China's Lu Chao, who remembered 67,890 digits in 2005.

Knowing everyone was waiting to eat their tea, he asked his wife if he could "just run through the first few digits again", but she was having none of it!

"No, come on," she said, "get on with your pie."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Mathematics, Madness




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