Spunk Stains Cost Man Job

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 31 August 2018

image for Spunk Stains Cost Man Job
The least said, the better

There was more than a touch of regret for one prospective employee this afternoon, when a Pennsylvania man turned up for his job interview with unsightly spunk stains on his clothing.

Mark Virile, 26, from Pittsburgh, was attending an interview for a teaching position at a prestigious girls' school. He was an ideal fit for the job: young, bright, patient, caring, experienced in computer systems, assertive, with excellent people skills ... he had the lot.

He was also very confident, so much so, that he decided to go out for a few beers the night before his interview - and what a night!

Mark met up with friends in a downtown bar, and they wound their way around a circuit of watering holes, picking up new friends as they went along. One of these friends was a pretty brunette whose name he would not remember, but the same could not be said for what she did when they found themselves in an alley together, after they'd both decided to get some fresh air.

Explanations seem futile, but he ended up with tapioca toothpaste all over his jacket and trousers. She rinsed her mouth with it. Afterwards, Mark staggered home, arriving there around 3am. He slept in his suit, and soundly.

When he woke, it was already 11am, and, with his interview downtown at midday, it was time to go. He splashed some water on his face, ran his fingers through his hair, and ran to his car. This wasn't ideal preparation, but he had no more time.

The interview went well until he was asked to give a demonstration of his teaching skills in front of a class of 16-year-olds. Here, things unravelled.

Mark was met with cheers as he entered the room, but it wasn't long before the girls in the front row spotted spunk. A long, unseemly trail of semen had remained undetected by Mark, but now it had been detected by this class of 35 young women. From somewhere near the back of the room, a voice said:

"Sir, did you have a good time last night?"

Mark looked up and saw the brunette. He packed his bag, and left the room, just as another loud cheer rang out.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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