Scorpion Was In Man's Shoe

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 3 August 2018

image for Scorpion Was In Man's Shoe
The aftermath - note the brick dust

A major incident was narrowly averted in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, when a man discovered a horrible, ugly, black scorpion hiding in his shoe!

Moys Kenwood, 55, was on his way out to work at around 6:30am, and sat down to put his shoes on. What happened next will live long in his memory. Kenwood:

"There was a scorpion in my shoe."

Kenwood's depiction of events barely does the incident justice. According to an earlier statement, he had already put his right shoe on, without examining its interior, and now reached for the left. As he did so, there was a movement within. He assumed it was that nasty, slimy, big, fat, bulbous frog that keeps sleeping in that shoe, and banged the shoe on the floor, to try to dislodge it. A scorpion fell out, and stared at him.

Kenwood, a brave man, screamed for his wife. She, on seeing the scorpion, went outside for a brick with which to destroy it. Thirty seconds later, the scorpion was no more, Mrs Kenwood having taken 'remedial action', and Kenwood - after another quick check of his footwear - shod himself and left for work, musing over this story's construction as he went.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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