Kenny Hartwell of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to abandon his preconceived notions about what his life should be like and revel in the absurdity of his existence.
“It's going well,” said Kenny of his new approach to life. “For instance, my girlfriend's an alcoholic, which isn't so much of an issue, but she's also a sex addict. It used to bother me when she overtly ran around with other dudes, but now I embrace it. Everyone's got something, you know?”
Kenny says his new angle on life has also been serving him well in the workplace. “I thought it was so messed up to come in and just sit at a computer and do stupid, useless shit all day,"' said Kenny. "But now I've started channeling the cartoon The Jetsons – remember how George Jetson's job was just to push a single button on a computer over and over again? That's me! I'm George Jetson!"
Kenny's newfound appreciation of the absurdity of his day-to-day existence has even prompted him to intentionally embellish his life with additional forms of absurdity. "Just as an example, the other day I put mustard on my Cheerios," he said. "It wasn't that tasty, but I figured why not at least give it a shot? Next time I'm going to give hot sauce a go. Now that'll be nuts!”
Kenny says that he looks forward to a long life riddled with laughable, lamentable, and often gut-wrenchingly painful absurdity. “I think I'm on the right track,” he said. "Absurd's the word - bring it on!"