La La land, USA—In a follow-up to a Gal Lupp poll in which 51% of DemocRATs confessed to preferring socialism to capitalism, respondents to the poll gave their reasons for their preference.
“Why work when I can get stuff free?” Freddy the Freeloader demanded. “Right now, I get $40,000 a year on Welfare, with an additional $20,000-a-year per kid, so I got my old lady pumping out babies like she on a ass-semen-bly line. Making whoopee's a whole lot more fun than busting my ass at some low-payin' job!”
“Free college,” Lo Watt said, “simple as that.”
“Vladimir Putin be worth $70 billion, and Donald Trump be worth only $3 billion, if that. Who doin' better, the leader of the socialist world or the leader of the capitalist world? It a no-brainer.”
When the respondents were asked who was going to pay for all the “free stuff” they say they want, none of them had an answer—or none that made sense, at any rate.
“Robin Hood showed us the way: rob from the rich and give to the poor. People like that dude running Amaze-zone, that Bill Gaits dude, and that Buffet dude can pay for most of my needs theyselves.”
(In the interests of full disclosure, the net worth of Jeff Bozo, Bill Gaits, and War Ng Buffet, combined, is about $330 billion; the estimated costs of two of the favorite items on DemocRATs' wish list [which gets longer by the second] is at least $33 trillion for “free healthcare” for all, and an additional $63 billion for "free education" for all.)
“Why I care where the money comin' from?” Alfred P. Newman whined. “That the DemocRATs' job; that be why I vote for them.”
Libby Dunce, Professor of Economics at Hahvahd University, said the follow-up is a joint study her department is conducting with the school's Department of Psychology, whose chair, Dr. Isaiah Dingbat, said, “We hope our findings may shed light on the mystery of magical thinking that seems, in recent times, to affect more and more people on the political left, myself and Dr. Dunce excepted, of course.”