There have been 146 spoof news stories published in July 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Hairy female armpits banned at The Nutters Beach Club / Dia veinteocho!

Funny story: Hairy female armpits banned at The Nutters Beach Club / Dia veinteocho!

2 unshaven, tattooed, fallen footy icons, entered our club last night after failing so miserably and observing a 'change of the superstars footy guard', which manifested itself in front of millions of footy fans yesterday; qui, qui! So, to cheer them up, and being completely mad, we allowed females with hairy armpits into the club to tickle their fancies with their hairy, exposed parts! Sadl...

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English Hooligans gatecrash The Nutters Beach Club/ Dia veinteneuve!

Funny story: English Hooligans gatecrash The Nutters Beach Club/ Dia veinteneuve!

It was unavoidable that sooner our later our exclusive club would be discovered, breached, and gatecrashed by English footy hooligans, desperate for some insanity and hoping looking up Volga Olga's shriveled banana skin skirt! However, these hooligans were slightly different, yes pissed out of their brains, but, non-violent, and bawling their eyes out in disbelief after what they witnessed last ni...

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Trump’s Wall Falling Down

Funny story: Trump’s Wall Falling Down

In a few months, following Trump's removal from office, his border wall will also be removed. Drum roll! The committee for the Restoration of America is planning a four-day celebration to commemorate the takedown. While heads of state are eage...

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TV Set Killed Man

Funny story: TV Set Killed Man

Police in Fort Lauderdale say the death of a man in his seventies was caused by his TV set, and have charged the appliance with homicide. The man, Gordon Binfield, 74, had lived alone since his wife died in 1983, and, having few friends, rarely l...

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College Student Takes a Dump and Then Makes His Roommates Look at It

Funny story: College Student Takes a Dump and Then Makes His Roommates Look at It

Cockland University. Roy Bunders, 20, took a dump so incredibly big last Thursday that he immediately felt the need to show it to his roommates. "I had just eaten at the cafeteria, and I felt the urgent need to go to the restroom," he said.

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Barbie Loves Her New Incarnation

Funny story: Barbie Loves Her New Incarnation

Meet Robotics Engineer Barbie, launched just last month. Gone are the high heels and elaborate outfits. Now Barbie wears sneakers and really loves them. "I'm almost 60 years old and into comfort," she has said, continuing, "jeans, a T shirt, and a...

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Local Pie Thief located, killed in violent shootout

After weeks of investigation local man Lawerance Oddert, father of three, was killed in a violent shootout with police after stealing a pie that was cooling on old Miss Tennanbaums window sill. The police first started suspecting Oddert when he refus...

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Donald Trumps Pay Your Age Build a Wall Offer Falls Flat

Funny story: Donald Trumps Pay Your Age Build a Wall Offer Falls Flat

POTUS Donald Trumps latest scheme to build a wall between the USA and Mexico has fallen flat after no one turned up. The hapless President had picked up the idea from the famous Build A Bear company, whose Pay Your Age offer was massively over sub...

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Alarm Clock Stopped At 01:32

Funny story: Alarm Clock Stopped At 01:32

An alarm clock owner in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang has told of how he awoke late this morning, after his normally-reliable alarm clock failed to wake him up at the normal agreed time. Moys Kenwood, 55, sets his gray-colored Tesco alar...

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Volga Olga dances in a 'Brazil Nuts' see through topless dress and brings Neymar down!! Dia Treinta / Dag Dertig!

Funny story: Volga Olga dances in a 'Brazil Nuts' see through topless dress and brings Neymar down!! Dia Treinta / Dag Dertig!

After ridding the world of Banana Republic, terrible, fake actors, our superstar, 85 year-old, nymphomaniac, resident dancer, Volga Olga, born on the banks of the Black Sea, in Ras-Putin's annexed world of opulence, and Czar palaces, swapped her brown bananas, Josephine Baker style, for Brazil Nut-ters! Rio's infamous carnaval has invited Volga Olga over to head the 2019 carnaval in her Brazil...

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Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

Funny story: Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

There was hysterical laughter aplenty at one school in Battambang this morning, when a student sat down rather too heavily on a computer chair, whereupon it disintegrated underneath him. The boy, aged 6, and weighing around 150lbs, was waiting to...

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Dia treintetres at the Nutters Beach Club and guess what? An Italian giant has attempted to buy our joint for 99 million big ones!!

Funny story: Dia treintetres at the Nutters Beach Club and guess what? An Italian giant has attempted to buy our joint for 99 million big ones!!

Several sun tanned, black suited, with thin-lip moustaches, and Dolce Cabana sunglasses stood in front of the doors before opening time, smoothly demanding to talk to the owner in heavy, Northern Italian accents. So, Jaggedone, arriving on his pet donkey with his Chief Chinese Chef, WAN-KIN-DIK, sat on the rear end with a carrot, agreed to talk to the mysterious chaps? "Are youe de infamoso Jag...

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Man Followed Through

Funny story: Man Followed Through

There was an embarrassing situation to deal with for one man this morning, after a fart he attempted to release from between his buttocks, turned into something more serious, and he followed through. The incident happened in a bank in Battambang w...

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Nutters Beach Club hold a 'SEXIT' referendum / Dia treintedos!

Funny story: Nutters Beach Club hold a 'SEXIT' referendum / Dia treintedos!

After great demand and, Volga Olga's sagging boobs hitting rock bottom, our honorable Nutter Fraternity have demanded a referendum that could lead to a 'SEXIT! In da club (fanks fiddy for that one!)! So, during last nights poetry recital by our resident pissed pirate poet laureate, Sir Francis (non ducky) Charlton, who recited Dylan's famous classic, 'On top of milk wood' backwards, which then...

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Man Answered Call From Caller Who Had Called Wrong Number

Funny story: Man Answered Call From Caller Who Had Called Wrong Number

There was 'annoyance in the air' in East Yorkshire this morning, when a man answered his telephone, only to discover that the person who was calling had dialled his number by mistake, and had intended to call someone else. The man, Moys Kenwood, f...

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Trump Combover Now UK's Most Requested Style At Hairdressing Salons

Funny story: Trump Combover Now UK's Most Requested Style At Hairdressing Salons

There may have been protests last Friday in London and around the UK, but US President Donald Trump also has his admirers, as has been proven at hairdressing salons up and down the country, with haircuttists saying that the 'Trump combover' is the st...

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Robert Mueller In Full Feather Boa To Commemorate J Edgar Hoover

Funny story: Robert Mueller In Full Feather Boa To Commemorate J Edgar Hoover

BILLINGSGATE POST: For those who recall reading about former FBI Director J Edgar Hoover's much rumored passion for lady's fashions, pictures of Special Counsel Robert Mueller in a full feather boa may prove to be too much. Newly revealed photos...

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Young Wisconsin Man Decides Not To Exercise In The Gym After Work

Funny story: Young Wisconsin Man Decides Not To Exercise In The Gym After Work

Knobville, Wisconsin. Police and town officials sent out a massive search party for young Steven Pubes when it was noticed that he was not in the gym last Monday. Steven, 23, usually goes to a local gym called "The Big Load" every Monday, Wedne...

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Rain Nearly Washed Town Away

Funny story: Rain Nearly Washed Town Away

Freakish weather conditions in the Battambang area Thursday meant there was a damp start to the day for one Englishman living in the area. Moys Kenwood, 55, reported how he awoke to the sound of cats and dogs falling on the metallic roof of his ba...

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Trump Sees Ant-Man and Wasp Movie and Wants Scientists to Build Him a Super-Suit

Funny story: Trump Sees Ant-Man and Wasp Movie and Wants Scientists to Build Him a Super-Suit

Mir-A-Lago, FL President Trump tweeted today that America's scientists are way behind where they should be. "Why haven't our scientists invented something like Ant-Man's little cars or an Iron Man suit like in the movies? I think, as President, I...

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The Great White Id

Funny story: The Great White Id

Daily watch the Great White Id Huffing and puffing away. He’ll gladly tell you what he did To madly disrupt your day. He tweets his Id thoughts from his Throne— His petty gripes and “So unfairs!” Civility he now bemoans And offers us instead despair. His Little Ids feed off his spew And swallow every lie he tweets. His policies the poor now screws— (The same who sport their clean wh...

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United South Western Delta Phi Airline Announces Plans to Hire Surgeon; Doctor; Veterinarian; Boxer; and Contortionist

Funny story: United South Western Delta Phi Airline Announces Plans to Hire Surgeon; Doctor; Veterinarian; Boxer; and Contortionist

United South Western Delta Phi airlines today announced new employment opportunities. The airline is looking to solve several recent problems it has had with pets dying; humans needing mid-air medical assistance or operations; violent passengers and...

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Spoof Infiltrated by Russian Hackers?

Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller's investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election has uncovered evidence that another group of Russian hackers infiltrated the American section of The Spoof, the satire and fake news publica...

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Navy Seal Team Rescues Alan Dershowitz from Martha’s Vineyard

Funny story: Navy Seal Team Rescues Alan Dershowitz from Martha’s Vineyard

Hyannis Port, Mass. - As billions watched in the United States and around the world, a complex operation involving dozens of U.S. Navy Seal divers and support personnel have succeeded in removing famous legal analyst, news commentator and Trump suppo...

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China goes Star Trek

Funny story: China goes Star Trek

China claims to have a real Lazer gun that will carbonize your skin. The chinese ZKZM-500 laser assault rifle is capable of hitting a target from a kilometer away, burning through human skin. The developer claims it’s ready for production. Rese...

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Taylor Swift confirmed her engagement to Charlie Sheen

Funny story: Taylor Swift confirmed her engagement to Charlie Sheen

Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen are making their love official. Since last week, fans haven't been able to contain their excitement after news broke that the Country singer had proposed while the two were vacationing in Hawaii. While many were ecst...

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Mario Batali 'wants to adopt Russian orphan's'

Funny story: Mario Batali 'wants to adopt Russian orphan's'

Celebrity Chef, superstar, Mario Batali has applied through a U.S. agency to adopt three Russian girls, a top Russian adoption official said over the weekend. "I plan to move to Bahrain with my three daughters," says Batali. During a recent int...

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Boris Johnson in Person - He Answers Your Questions

Boris Johnson aged 54 and 1/2, despite all common sense, has somehow risen to become Foreign Secretary in Her Majesty's Government under the premiership of Theresa May and today faces questions from readers of The Spoof. What is this Brexit thingy all about? (A. Leaver, Sunderland) To tell the truth, I haven't a clue. I had a bet with George Osborne as to who could do the most damage to the Br...

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Colorado Prepares for Jethro Sessions Invasion Force

Funny story: Colorado Prepares for Jethro Sessions Invasion Force

Colorado has changed the meaning of Rocky Mountain High to something more literal over the years. Now they are preparing some special weaponry especially for Federal Law Enforcement, should it come to enforce Federal cannabis regulations. "We call...

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United Nations Report Links Climate Change to Global Warming

Funny story: United Nations Report Links Climate Change to Global Warming

Causing consternation to climate-change deniers like former Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt, a groundbreaking new United Nations report definitively links climate change to global warming. Mincing no words, current presi...

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Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Funny story: Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Arson Bobwang, a regular writer for The Spoof, has written his hundredth article for the well-disregarded satire site. It is a minimalistic tale entitled "Leaf Falls From Tree", and is about as funny as watching a real leaf fall from a real tree.

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Born To Spoof New Beginnings CH 4: Clone Ride To Oblivion

Funny story: Born To Spoof New Beginnings CH 4: Clone Ride To Oblivion

The sheets of silk were nowhere near as smooth as #4's thighs. I woke with them wrapped around my head. As I lay there admiring the scenery I noticed a tatoo I'd never noticed before, "#007". I reluctantly I gently extricated myself for a call of nature. When I returned she was sitting up, "We'll be there soon." she said brushing her hair aside to show one of her green eyes. "Where is there...

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Ancient Vampire Who Yearns for Death Reviews Oceans 8

900 year old vampire Ardith Dartan, who wishes for nothing more than to finally be freed from his wretched existence, shared his thoughts about the latest film in the long running Oceans series. “I found the heist to be less interesting than the...

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Immigration Enforcement (ICE) Will Never Melt

Funny story: Immigration Enforcement (ICE) Will Never Melt

President Donald Rump today said that 4 Democratic Senators calling for the abolition of Immigrant Customs Enforcement (ICE) proved that the Democratic Party wanted Central American rapists, murderers, and other degenerate criminals to come to the U.

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Trump Announces Plan To Deport Native Americans

Funny story: Trump Announces Plan To Deport Native Americans

President Trump had a serious case of the sniffles this morning as he spoke to reporters this morning in an impromptu press conference. The president was still in his pajamas, and had apparently just had cereal, because he appeared to have a milk...

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President Repeals Child Labor Laws

Funny story: President Repeals Child Labor Laws

In a move that left White House reporters stunned, the president held an impromptu press conference this afternoon, where he pulled a piece of toilet paper off the bottom of his shoe, and on it, wrote up and signed an executive order repealing all ch...

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President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

Funny story: President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

In what Republican lawmakers touted as certain boost for the economy, the president revealed his plan today, to "Put The Lead Back In Paint." A spokesperson for the Society of Mothers For The Manufacture of Lead responded that this is exactly what...

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Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

Funny story: Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

The Tour de France, that supreme test of human endurance, determination, strength and skill, is almost upon us once again, and, for the keen cycling fans amongst our readers, here is a carefully-compiled Survival Guide for this year's event. The 2018 Tour will once again be raced over 22 stages, for a total of 2,069 km (3,329 m). The race will start with a total of 188 riders spread amongst 11...

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Germaine Greer's Forum on Men's Attitudes to Women and Sex

Funny story: Germaine Greer's Forum on Men's Attitudes to Women and Sex

Hello, my name is Germaine Greer and some of you may remember me for being at the forefront of something or other called Women's Lib, beginning with my book Spare Rib. I have been called a feminist and a feminazi in my time, but that's water off a duck's back to me and despite my reputation, I can tell you that in my time I have had more than my quota of pork sausage. I am here today in the pre...

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RSPCA Threat to Take Schrödinger's Cat Dead or Alive

Funny story: RSPCA Threat to Take Schrödinger's Cat Dead or Alive

Renowned Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger was outraged this morning when he heard that RSPCA inspectors intended to raid his laboratory in an attempt to seize his cat, Tiddles, after allegations of animal cruelty. An exasperated Tiddles spoke...

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Funeral Service to be Held at St. Bob's Next Week

With loads of horrible sadness, despair, and unfathomable amounts of depression wreaking pure and unholy havoc on his heart and his mind, Roger Mann, 34, took an elevator to the top floor of an abnormally tall building last Thursday. Believing...

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EastEnders Adam Woodyatt Changes Name To Ian Beale

Funny story: EastEnders Adam Woodyatt Changes Name To Ian Beale

In a move which some will say was inevitable, the 'EastEnders' star Adam Woodyatt, who plays Ian Beale, has changed his name to Ian Beale. Woodyatt, or 'Beale', has played 'Ian' since the show was first aired in 1985, and has come to think of hims...

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Melania Makes 4th Trip to Mexican Border Dressed As A Nun

Funny story: Melania Makes 4th Trip to Mexican Border Dressed As A Nun

Melania Trump made a 4th visit to the Mexican border carry a bottle of Jim Beam and a bottle of Tequila. She was spotted entering a small cantina, not regularly entered by "gringos'. "She came in all by herself, no secret service, no nothin' man,"...

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Descendants of Brothers Grimm Sue Trump Administration for Giving FairyTales a Bad Name

Funny story: Descendants of Brothers Grimm Sue Trump Administration for Giving FairyTales a Bad Name

The ACLU today filed yet another suit against the Trump Administration, this time on behalf of the Brothers Grimm, or rather there genetic descendants of the Brothers Grimm. "We can no longer stand by as the plots and lessons embedded in the stori...

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650 Million Democrats Suddenly Switched Parties in the Last Three Weeks, According to Social Media Data

Funny story: 650 Million Democrats Suddenly Switched Parties in the Last Three Weeks, According to Social Media Data

Washington - According to a program that analyzes statistical data gathered from Twitter and Facebook accounts using #walkaway, 650 million registered Democrats in the United States have become Republicans in the last three weeks. "I was a libtar...

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Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

Funny story: Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

The Tour de France, cycling's premier, most prestigious, most demanding and, arguably, most dangerous challenge, is going soft, it has been reported. The gruelling event where many of the seasoned and ultra-fit competitors consider it a lifetime a...

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Baseball's Next 300 Game Winner... Should Retire at 299

As major league baseball pauses for its annual All Star break, let's also pause to wonder who's the next 300 game winner, or will there ever be another one? My advice to the two pitchers closest to that mark - Bartolo Colon of the Rangers [245] an...

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Harvey Wienstein to wed Gabourey Sidibe

Funny story: Harvey Wienstein to wed Gabourey Sidibe

Sorry, boys — Gabourey Sidibe is officially off the market! The TV actress and model is engaged to Harvey Wienstein the ex-CEO of The Wienstein Company. The two have been in Italy on a romantic trip, where the engagement took place. Gabourey c...

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Strzok and democrats at congressional hearings see Russians here, there, and everywhere

Funny story: Strzok and democrats at congressional hearings see Russians here, there, and everywhere

Grilled by a Congressional Committee on possible bias toward President Trump, FBI agent Peter Strzok has suggested the Russians, again, are the benefactors. Various newscasters in the mainstream media, apart from FOX News, are ready to carry this...

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American Independence Day: Things you missed by not staying British

Funny story: American Independence Day: Things you missed by not staying British

On 4th July 1776 or thereabouts (frankly who cares?) the Continental Congress declared the thirteen American colonies to be a new nation, the United States of America and no longer part of the British Empire. This move was in reality a massive tax dodge and to this day the American public hates the idea of paying for public services, roads, healthcare, infrastructure etc. which is why the coun...

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Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Funny story: Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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Man Beaten Senseless For Not Having Any Social Or Political Values

When asked about his political and social views, Roger Stanley, 40, responded by saying, "For the past 20 years, I've never really paid much attention to politics or even major social issues such as gun control, abortion, gay rights, immigration, dru...

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Rude Drawing Found In Condensation On Bus Window

Funny story: Rude Drawing Found In Condensation On Bus Window

Passengers on a public bus in Hull were said to be 'sickened' today, after witnessing a drawing of a penis and testicles on one of the windows. The image, about 30cm high and 20cm wide, had been etched with a finger into the early morning condensa...

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How to Deal with the Fact that You are a Complete and Total Loser

WARNING: This article was written by a rage-filled and heavily intoxicated author who feels a constant need to express disgusting and needless humor for the sole purpose of fulfilling his own vile ego. It lacks any sort of idealistic cause, and it basically says nothing that should be thought about deeply or even remembered. Thematic patterns do not exist within the structure of its content, gr...

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Non-Footy Sunday at the Nutters Beach Club that opens doors solely to 'Mad Hatter' Non-Footy Nutters!

Funny story: Non-Footy Sunday at the Nutters Beach Club that opens doors solely to 'Mad Hatter' Non-Footy Nutters!

SSSHH! Do not mention it within the walls of the Nutters Beach Club, otherwise you will be ejected, non-violently, by our black and white, Eunuch doormen, Ying and Yang! Our club has been declared a non-footy zone and anybody mentioning IT will join a line of 'gang-bangers' hoping to bang Volga Olga! We have opened the doors for other Nutters including royal hat-maker, Philip Treacy, because h...

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Special guest at the NUTTERS BEACH CLUB, "The Fat Lady Sung!" Jour trent-quatre / D Day!

Funny story: Special guest at the NUTTERS BEACH CLUB, "The Fat Lady Sung!" Jour trent-quatre / D Day!

St George did not slay the dragon and history never repeats itself, but we don't care at The Nutters Beach Club because last night's special VIP guest artist, "The Fat Lady" sung her heart out on the White Cliffs of Dover and forgot to jump on the ferry to Calais to sing to the French, 'Les Bleus' where the song will surely reach a rip-roaring finale! However, she was brilliant to the end as sh...

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Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

Funny story: Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

FA blazers announced today that the 2018-19 Premier League season would be cut short and would end on 29th March 2019 when the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. This is the result of those football fans who voted en masse to leave the Euro...

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Bill Shine appointment to bring WH messaging more in line with Fox News

Concerned that White House policy and messaging weren't sufficiently in lock step with Fox News, President Trump has brought in former Fox News co-president Bill Shine to serve as Assistant to the President and Deputy Chief of Staff for Communication...

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Scamatology Reps Visit North Korea to Study Their Labor Camps

Funny story: Scamatology Reps Visit North Korea to Study Their Labor Camps

Our correspondent has learned that the Church of Scamatology has sent representatives to North Korea to study their labor camp system. Scamatology has been known to throw wayward "Clams," as they like to be called, into either the RPF, which is where...

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Indictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte

Funny story: Indictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte

"A grand jury can indict a ham sandwich" has once again emerged to dominate American politics. Last Friday, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, acting for Mr. Mueller’s investigation, indicted twelve Russians as suspects in the Russian collusi...

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Miss America pageant loses male audience

Funny story: Miss America pageant loses male audience

Past, elderly, Miss America beauty pageant winners are united in support of Gretchen Carlson, a former winner brought in to reform the pageant. Carlson, also known as "Ebenezer" is a former Miss America 1989 and an early figure in the #MeToo move...

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Trump celebrates July 4th Sings: "Sometimes I feel like a motherless child!"

President Donald Trump appeared this morning on the WH lawn on what was billed as a "Celebration of Independence Day." A stunned WH Press Corp gasped in astonishment as the 45th president of the United States skipped to the podium dressed as Little O...

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EastEnders Pair Are The Best Of Friends Offscreen

Funny story: EastEnders Pair Are The Best Of Friends Offscreen

It's been reported that the onscreen rivalry between EastEnders actors Adam Woodyatt and Steve McFadden, who play Ian Beale and Phil Mitchell respectively, could not be further from the truth, and the two are the best of friends when filming is over.

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Snot Hanging Out Of Kid's Nose Was Nearly A Foot Long

Funny story: Snot Hanging Out Of Kid's Nose Was Nearly A Foot Long

There was horror on a horrific scale in a local school this morning, when a student in a Science class sneezed, and produced a horrifying 'creature' almost as long as a ruler, that hung out of his nose ! The dirty Snotfest took place around 9am, a...

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NATO Is Shocked And Dismayed By Trump

Funny story: NATO Is Shocked And Dismayed By Trump

NATO members are shocked by Trump’s unfounded criticisms, numbers, and railing. "He is telling falsehoods!" "Making total distortions of nations and history!" "This is outlandish!" Psst, don’t tell anyone: Putin hates NATO, and Trump’s Putin’s boy and Trump is reciting the Putin script. Really? Yeah, well, he’s doing exactly what he did during the presidential election: lies, distortions...

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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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Trump and Putin Play Mini Golf in Helsinki

Funny story: Trump and Putin Play Mini Golf in Helsinki

Russian president Vladimir Putin and US president Donald Trump played mini golf Monday in Helsinki. It was during their summit, the part where they were supposed to meet alone. The official business part of their meeting didn’t take long as Putin...

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The Three Stooges (Mueller, Rosenstein and Comey) Meet FrankenTrump

Funny story: The Three Stooges (Mueller, Rosenstein and Comey) Meet FrankenTrump

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a gathering of fools, it is hard to beat The Three Stooges for harmless idiocy. So when the newest rendition of this slapstick threesome, who entertained kids at matinees back in the 50’s, was formed last year, there were many...

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Man Stubs Toe

Funny story: Man Stubs Toe

A man in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang was in agony on Saturday evening after he stubbed his toe. The incident happened around 10:13pm as Moys Kenwood watched the World Cup match between France and Argentina. Excited after the second Fre...

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World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Putin Claims No Russian Interference in Putin’s Election

Funny story: Putin Claims No Russian Interference in Putin’s Election

In a shocking break with all his intelligence agencies Russian President Vladimir Putin confirms that he believes Vladimir Putin’s claim that he did not interfere in Russia’s elections. “A slanderous claim," the leader said when asked about the a...

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Danny Dyer Appointed as Brexit Secretary

Funny story: Danny Dyer Appointed as Brexit Secretary

"Prime Minister" Theresa May surprised both Brexiteer and Remainer members of her party today when she appointed EastEnders on-screen hard man Danny Dyer as Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union following the resignation of the previous s...

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Colin's Bad Luck With The Ladies

Funny story: Colin's Bad Luck With The Ladies

An Englishman's wedding day was laid to waste when his bride-to-be told him she needed to "pop outside for a cigarette", and was never seen again. Colin 'D' was due to tie the knot at a Registry Office in Bournemouth with his intended, whose name does not matter, so don't ask. The woman got as far as arriving at the office and taking a seat inside, before starting to show signs of extreme an...

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Comey diagnosed with NDCR syndrome as doctors warn of new virus and spreading epidemic

Funny story: Comey diagnosed with NDCR syndrome as doctors warn of new virus and spreading epidemic

Former Director of the FBI James Comey has been hospitalized and isolated in a special care facility in Washington, D.C. He is diagnosed with a severe outbreak of the new virus NDCR, particularly virulent this summer. This facility remains cla...

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Did Trump Blackmail Kennedy To Quit?

Funny story: Did Trump Blackmail Kennedy To Quit?

Did Donald Trump blackmail Justice Anthony Kennedy out of his Supreme Court seat because of his son Justin Kenndy? It seems Justin provided a one billion dollar building loan to Donald Trump while Justin was working for Deutsche Bank. (pronounced: Do...

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Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

Funny story: Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

A report published today in JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that that the emotional state of the large majority (63 percent) of Americans is general despondency, but the good news is that only slightly more than one-third (34 percent) are clinically...

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England Still Have Everything To Play For

Funny story: England Still Have Everything To Play For

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...

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Donald Trump Blimp Out Of Control

Funny story: Donald Trump Blimp Out Of Control

The Donald Trump blimp - the 20ft-high balloon of the US President, wearing a baby's diaper - which has been flying in the sky above the Houses of Parliament in London since Friday, has broken free of its moorings! The perfectly-coiffeured inflata...

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Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Funny story: Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Brazilian footballer Neymar has been wowing the crowds at the World Cup in Russia with some stunning performances, and 2 goals so far, but the fans are not the only people the 26-year-old has been impressing. Executives at the BBC have been meetin...

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Putin Doesn't Want Trump to Visit Any More Dictators

Funny story: Putin Doesn't Want Trump to Visit Any More Dictators

Helsinki, Finland After Trump and Putin met at the Helsinki Summit, the translator succumbed to a large bribe and revealed what was said in private between the dictator and the wannabe dictator. "At first Putin was nice to Trump, but then he got r...

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The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Well, I've been basking in the glorious defeat that was the Belgium match, just like the rest of the lads. One thing is spoiling it. No, that's not right...two things are spoiling it...no booze and no birds. I ask you. "Mr. Southgate" still wouldn't...

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New Statistics Show Top Causes of Death In UK

Funny story: New Statistics Show Top Causes of Death In UK

Surprising new statistics have been released by the Home Office showing how you are likely to die in the UK based on the area you live and your age group. Unsurprisingly, in the male 14-19 yrs age group stabbings are the number one cause of death...

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Indian Phone Calls - How To Deal With Them

Funny story: Indian Phone Calls - How To Deal With Them

We've all had one - an unwanted call from a call center in India - and usually at the most inconvenient time possible, about something about which we have no conceivable interest. So, what do you do? Often whilst you are making - or worse, are in the middle of eating - their tea, many people feel they are being rude by merely replacing their receiver, or by just ending the call, and feel oblige...

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EastEnders Phil And Grant Team Up For Violent TV Series

Funny story: EastEnders Phil And Grant Team Up For Violent TV Series

'EastEnders' brothers Phil and Grant Mitchell have been lined up to star in a new BBC drama show where the pair are constantly trying to seek out and kill fellow Albert Square resident Ian Beale, who has gone on the run. It's the first spin-off fr...

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Millipede With 1,000 Legs Found

Funny story: Millipede With 1,000 Legs Found

In the very first case of its kind, a man in Battambang has discovered a millipede that actually has what its name suggests it should have - 1,000 legs! Moys Kenwood, 55, was in his bathroom taking a dump, when a chance glance at the floor, mid-c...

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Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Summer Stops Abruptly

Funny story: Summer Stops Abruptly

After weeks of blistering heat, hosepipe bans and warnings about dogs in cars, Summer has suddenly stopped. At 5pm British Summertime, the skies clouded over and "threatened rain" leading to barbeques being covered up, skimpy clothes to disappear...

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Uncle insists he was in Texas during events of chainsaw massacre

At a family event last month an Uncle kept insisting he was in Texas during the grisly murders of the fictional film “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” “We tried explaining to him that it was a movie based around the killings by Ed Gein in Wisconsin bu...

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Boy you teased in high school becomes omnipotent leader of his own planet

Recent reports from the international space station suggest that the boy you used to pick on in high school has somehow developed unfathomable powers and taken control of a previously unknown heavenly body in the area of Betelgeuse. “We were send...

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Man's Horrible Dreams Come True

Funny story: Man's Horrible Dreams Come True

A man in Battambang awoke in a cold sweat this morning after a restless night during which he had several nightmares, but this was only the start of his torture, as the disturbing things he had experienced whilst asleep, began to reveal themselves as...

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Men realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave

Funny story: Men realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave

Tony Hemmings, 33, the cock of the walk in Basingstoke has realised that despite Gareth Southgate's leading work in the field, waist-coats are not the defacto male clothing to be worn during a heat-wave. 'Imagine my surprise, to be following the s...

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Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...

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Tommy Robinson Band To Re-release 'I Shall Be Released'

Funny story: Tommy Robinson Band To Re-release 'I Shall Be Released'

Tommy Robinson, the founder of the English Defence League, who is currently serving a 13-month prison sentence after being found guilty of contempt of court, has reformed his seventies punk band, and will release a new single tomorrow. The Tom Rob...

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The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

I'm penalty taker. Yes, I bloody am, really. Except for last night that is, thanks to that bastard "Mr. Southgate". I promise you, I am going to stick one on him soon. Look at it this way. There I am a seasoned professional among all these pretty...

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Rowling Laughs at Trump After Spoof Writer Alerts her to Spelling Error

Funny story: Rowling Laughs at Trump After Spoof Writer Alerts her to Spelling Error

USA Potus Donald Trump has been criticized by English writer JK Rowling over his pathetic attempts at spelling and grammar. Mr Trump wrote: "After having written many best selling books, and somewhat priding myself on my ability to write, it shoul...

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Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Funny story: Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Straw-haired buffoon Boris Johnson has resigned from his job as UK Foreign Secretary, in protest at Brexit plans that he believes are "not outy enough". He bragged that although he achieved "bugger all" during his two years in the high-profile gov...

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White House to be Plated In Gold

Funny story: White House to be Plated In Gold

The president signed an executive order today stating that: "The entire structure of the White House, including floors, walls, and ceilings, shall be 100% covered in a 1' thick coating of pure 24 carat gold. Furthermore all chairs, tables, furnit...

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Froomes Zomm Juice

Funny story: Froomes Zomm Juice

Chris Froome will be allowed to race in the Tour De France after all doping charges against him were dropped. Prosecutors said: "No one fucking watches cycling anyway so who cares?" The four time Tour winner has been under investigation for 7 m...

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Anti-Cultists Using Scamatology TV to Stop Potential Converts from Joining Scamatology

Funny story: Anti-Cultists Using Scamatology TV to Stop Potential Converts from Joining Scamatology

NotClear, FL Cult Experts who have been trying to dissuade people that are falling under the spell of Scamatology have been having them watch Scamatology TV. "Generally, once they see about five minutes of the cult's TV station they are glad to n...

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Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Funny story: Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Women who are also football fans are up in arms this morning at what they call the injustice of a team's description of themselves. They are angry that men's football teams make no 'gender distinction', and want to know why it is that women's tea...

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