Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump appeared at a signing ceremony this morning to implement his new executive order requiring scientists to get approval from him before releasing new scientific discoveries.
"I'm only doing this to protect Americans. Just think if the guy that discovered global warming had shown me. I would never have approved it! If I want it to be hot, I'll just go outside-I'm in Florida for god's sake!
"So anyways, I would never have approved global warming and it makes you wonder what else the scientists are working on. What if they're working on a cheap, clean way to fuel autos for instance?
"This would ruin the oil industry! So it's a good thing for the economy that I'm doing this." said Trump.
"This is just one example of how I'm helping the economy and how it will crash if anything should happen to me" bellowed Trump.