Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 18 August 2018

image for Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer
Spoof writers leaving Lowton's gaffe yesterday evening

Spoof writers were said to be 'satisfied' last night after months of patient negotiations with Spoofboss Mark Lowton finally paid off.

The writers emerged from the Lowton residence just before midnight on Monday evening, and set fire to a wheelie bin as part of their celebrations.

Analysts say that a 0.2% increase on earnings, with incremental pay rises, and an index-linked pension scheme are more than the scribblers could have hoped for. But one writer was still not satisfied with the deal. He said:

"He can't fool me! A 0.2% increase on 'nothing' is 'nothing'. Nil. Zero. Zilch. We're worth more than that!"

Others agreed. One raged:

"It's great that Lowton's coining it in, whilst I can't put food on the table for my two wives and fifteen kids! I've heard he's got a yacht. Life's just not fair."

But another, Moys Kenwood, said:

"I don't get paid in 'money', but I get 'paid' in other ways. I get to publish all my stupid stories, which is kind of therapeutic."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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