Insatiable, 85-year-old, super-nymphomaniac, Russian hag, Volga Olga, has had her (wet) dream come true and will play the leading role in a Hollywood blockbuster directed by none other than Quentin Tarantino!
Volga Olga came to fame in the fabulous, Erskine Quint Trilogy, which sunk like a damp squid after being given a film contract, but never hit the big screen because Hollywood moguls preferred Egyptian Mummies at the time.
However, Volga Olga became resident dancer at the globally-infamous Nutters Beach Club, dancing naked to the rhythms and bananas of Josephine Baker, who Tarantino is a great fan of!
After reading about her white-hot gyrating leatherette thighs, and dried-out dangling boobs swinging daily in the Nutters tent, he, after producing enough inglorious films starring over-the-top superstars, decided enough was enough of that Hollywood bullshit, and has now contracted Volga Olga to star for the enormous sum of 50 million Russian roubles (financed by Putin who loves Russian nymphos, too) in a Tarantino blockbuster called; 'Lethal Pussy 69!'
The writer, and inventor, of this Hollywood clap-trap, and Volga Olga, better known as JO, is over the moon, and has been invited to the 2019 Oscars as OSCAR NUTTER 2018, replacing that other Hollywood Nutter, Tom Cruise, who is on a very boring, impossible mission.
Tarantino asked Mel Gibson to star with Volga Olga, but sadly, he was too busy searching for Jesus! In addition, he only loves playing with ageing nymphomaniacs when the paparazzi are not looking, and the Pope is too busy exorcising paedophiles from his high priests!
