Fish Cheat Death In Daring Escape Bid

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 12 August 2018

image for Fish Cheat Death In Daring Escape Bid
Back home safe - one of the fish (right) with Mrs Kenwood this morning

Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon were on alert for a time this morning, after two fish went on the run from a high-security bucket.

Local resident, Sawon Kenwood, had purchased the fish yesterday afternoon, with a view to cooking them, along with some chips, for her husband's tea. She had put them outside the house in a circular, white, plastic container, about 50cm high, along with a bit of water, because they seem to prefer this. A bowl was placed over the top of it to prevent any escape attempt, but this precaution was clearly inadequate.

The Kenwoods retired about 10pm, but, outside, things were not what they seemed. The fish, feigning sleep, were biding their time...

During the dark hours, the fish 'flipped' out of the water like dolphins at Marineland, and dislodged the bowl. Next, they made good their escape by 'flipping' themselves up and out of the container, and onto the concrete floor. Once outside, the pair split up. One went around the back of the house, and into a neighbor's garden. The other - clearly suffering from the exertions of its escape - made off into some tall grass.

When Mrs Kenwood awoke this morning, and was confronted with the 'vacant cell', she set about rectifying her mistake. Help arrived in the form of her daughters, and two passing motorcyclists joined the search. The fish in the long grass was located easily, despite laying very still. Its friend was also soon tracked to the garden next-door - it was only a hundred yards from the river, and ... freedom!

The crisis over, the fish were returned to their safe haven in the plastic container, from where, later today, they will be struck a blow to the head, gutted, filleted, fried, and eaten, along with some chips.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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