Mir-a-lago, FL President Trump has promised to shut down the U.S. Government if his Border Wall doesn't start getting built. Besides building the wall, today Trump added more items to his ransom demands:
1. Every business and home should display his portrait. Lapel pins with Trump's face are also encouraged.
2. Laws must be passed making it against the law to criticize the President, punishable by being sent to a reeducation camp in northern Minnesota.
3. The National Anthem must be amended to include Trump's name somewhere in the lyrics, written in a "positive light."
4. A HUGE memorial must be built on the Federal Mall, honoring Trump.
5. New Yorkers may not boo him or otherwise taunt him.
The ransom note was dropped by a "disguised" Eric Trump, who was instantly recognized and pelted with vegetables.