Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 August 2018

image for Caterpillar Death Reveals How Gruesome Nature Is
Nature - disgusting!

A caterpillar killed outside a house in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, revealed just how disgusting Nature really is.

The animal, a Black Fuzzy Caterpillar, about two inches in length, as thick as an adult finger, and seemingly covered in tiny, black 'hairy spikes', was mercilessly exterminated by Moys Kenwood, 55.

His wife told him to do it, because, "if one of the kids touches it," she said, "they'll be itching like a motherfucker."

So much for the caterpillar whilst it lived. In death, however, a whole new picture emerged.

The 'thing' was put to death with a sharp stone, and was cut in half. Out of the still-warm corpse came a disgusting, not to say, sickening, green liquid, the color of a Sprite bottle. This 'green liquid' oozed rather than flowed, having a consistency that was closer to honey than water.

Indeed, one might have said: "it was green honey".

This was its blood, according to Mrs. Kenwood.

"It is green because of its dietary preference of green leaves," she informed him. "They don't bite, but, if you come into contact with one of them with your skin, you are in for some serious irritation. They develop into beautiful, large moths, though I've forgotten the Latin name, for the moment. A point worth remembering is, if you have to kill one, try to do it on soil or grass, rather than concrete, because that green honey really stains your patio."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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