Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 5 August 2018

image for Jumbo Jet Lands On School Playing Field
The cricket pavilion and BA296

Disaster was narrowly averted today when the pilot of a British Airways Jumbo Jet mistook a school playing field for an airport runway, and landed his flight on it.

The flight, BA296, from Chicago to London Heathrow, should have been 2 miles farther east, but, for reasons which are as yet unknown, it wasn't. Instead, playtime at Heathrow Primary School was rudely interrupted, with students scattering everywhere as the big metal bird announced its presence with a supersonic screeching, and came out of the clouds to land on their field.

The plane made no approach maneuvers, but swooped out of the sky with its landing gear down, and touched earth about 100 meters from the school building. It overran the 'runway' slightly, and crushed the cricket pavilion, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as the Headmaster, Mr Chips, had been saying for a long time, that the thing was an eyesore, and could do with replacing. He said:

"It was all very exciting! The children were enthralled! It's not every day that an aeroplane falls out of the sky onto the school field - and during playtime as well! Crumbs!"

Emergency services rushed to the school, but no-one was hurt either onboard or on the ground. Students helped unload passengers' baggage, and the grateful passengers showed their appreciation by 'chipping-in' for a new pavilion, and buying ice-creams for the children from an ice-cream van that had mysteriously appeared at the school.

At Mr Chips suggestion, his secretary's voice on the school tannoy blasted out the message:

"From Headmaster Chips and all his 'crew', we hope you enjoyed your flight with British Airways, and would like to wish you a happy onward journey."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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