To Would or Would Not Part 3

Funny story written by JinoLeFeeto

Saturday, 25 August 2018

image for To Would or Would Not Part 3 the end of Part 2!

We need you to bring a French underground hero here, just like you wouldn't do in Casablanka."

"Now look you my name wouldn't be Rick and I would never be in Casablanca," said Treetrunk.

That evening after doing what he said he would not, Treetrunk, Mike Pinch, were on the fishing boat headed out through heavy fog to pick up an unknown French underground hero.

"That fog is heavy, be tough not to run into 'em," said Treetrunk.

"Say Rick," said Mike, "Do you want me to hold a gun on them I kin aardly see them through this fog?"

"Just stay quiet Mike and stop calling me Rick that's the wrong movie, I'm Treetrunk in this flick got it?"

:"Sure thing Mr.Rick, I would not want to confuse anyone."

"Well you would like a black eye if you keep that up," said Treetrunk, "Okay that's them coming, put the gang plank out Mike if you WOULD."

"I most certainly would not," said Mike,"But you're the boss." Mike put out the gang plank to allow a woman and two men to come on board. The woman was a beautiful blonde and she had eyes for Treetrunk the moment she was on board.

"Okay everyone it would be nice if this were a pleasure cruise, but I would not be lying if it were not," said Treetrunk, "Have a seat and we'll shove off."

"Pinch, I would not like for a gun boat to shine its light in our direction. If you see a light I would shoot it out, got it?!" ordered Treetrunk.

"Got it Mr. Rick!" said Mike.

Treetrunk rolled his eyes. No sooner did they leave the docks, but a large ship with a spot light bore down on them, “Pinch! Shoot out that light!” Gun shots rang out over the roar of the boat engines, one of the French heros was shot, but not fatally. Pinch finally managed to put the big boat’s lights out….

Back at the Treetrunk Hotel, the group with the injured hero made their way to the basement. They laid the man on a cot face down, his wound was in his….”That bullet will have to come out, he would bleed to death if it would not.” said the woman, who was a beautiful brunette.

Treetrunk came up and took a closer look. “I would operate, but where its located is a deadly spot, I’ve never touched another man’s….,” said Treetrunk and the blood stained trousers on the man’s….The woman grasped him by the shoulders.

“Please would you? He’s important to the resistance, you would be saving a great hero,” she said tears welling in her eyes. Just then Melon Niaromanski entered and saw them together. Treetrunk looked sheepish.

“Don’t stop on my account, I would not want to interrupt anything,” said Melon Nia.

“This would not be what it looks like Slim,” said Treetrunk

“What would it look like? Asked Melon Nia.

“Like a woman begging me to operate on her fiancé,” said Treetrunk.

“Ohh,” said Melon Nia, “In that case you would have my sympathy…if he said yes to you that is. I’ll just go to the bar and wait, sing a couple numbers, look sexy and wait for you if you would want to see me later. If you need me Steve just whistle….you would know how to whistle wouldn’t you Steve.”

“I might but my name would not Steve, it would be Tree,” said Treetrunk.

“It really easy you would just put your lips together and blow.” Said Melon Nia.

“I would remember that Slim, after the operation,” said Treetrunk.

“Oh and my name would not be Slim, it is Melon, Melon-Nia,” she said in a heavy Russian accent.

(NEXT The exciting final chapter of To Would or Would Not!)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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