Written by Gee Pee

Friday, 17 August 2018

image for John L. Way says "hell no" to Colon Pencildick
"No, he don't want a Colon in the mix," Denver Broncs cheerleaders say.

Denvah, Collie Raddo—Has-been NFL quarterback John L. Way, who now manages to manage the Denvah Broncs, said, “No way will Colon Pencildick play foosball for my team. He stinks.”

The has-been quarterback and general manager of the Broncs added, “We need a back-up quarterback who can pass and run the ball, call the plays, and—well, that about covers it, actually. What we don't need is somebody who wants to earn millions of dollars kneeling on the @#$%&*# sidelines.”

The Broncs supported their general manager. One of them, speaking for the team, said, “We Broncs be a wild and crazy bunch of stallions, but even we not wild and crazy enough to want somebody like Colon on our team—I mean, his name alone show his parents don't have no judgment—who would name their kid after the large intestine? And bad judgment is genetic. There's no escaping your blood.”

Since Pencildick created a controversy where none had existed before by his “taking a knee” during the traditional playing of the national anthem, (that's “The Star-Spangled banner” for you Pencildick fans), no team has been “wild” or “crazy” enough to add Pencildick to their roster.

“I doubt Colon could find a spot on a Pop Warner foosball team,” the has-been quarterback and general manager of the Broncs said. “There are too many good players to add a shitbag like Pencildick to the team.”

Pencildick took umbrage at Way's characterization of him as a “shitbag.” “I may be a Colon,” he said, “but I ain't so full of shit I can't stand stand up to a little more brain damage on the gridiron.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
43 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more