Still MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues

Funny story written by Trinculoman

Monday, 6 August 2018

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Back by popular demand! We’ve been busy searching and nabbing the latest gems from your cherished lefty-progressive radicals. And now they’re here online! As always, to ensure you get your share of these treasures, you’ll need to move faster than Tostitos con queso y salsa going through Hillary Clinton! So, place your orders NOW!

Rare find! Vintage governess petticoat – complete with bustle – worn by paleo-progressive John Dewey during his “transgender period” when he was composing his magnum treatise on Nanny-state intervention into every aspect of American life.

Unique scientific specimens of Joe Scarborough’s extracted brain matter surgically removed in preparation for his joining MSNBC.

Select items from Kirsten Hillebrand’s collection of Bubba Clinton’s personally-inscribed “first member” photos that she jettisoned upon cynically joining the ‘Me-too’ movement with the demand that “he resign” ex post facto.

Randomly selected clips from Bill Maher’s TV show aptly titled: “Senseless Rants for Any Occasion.”

Rachel Madow’s bra and panties retrieved from Charlie Rose’s Hampton beach house after a weekend of extended “progressive policy workshops” with Rose, Matt Lauer, and Al Franken.

Set of a dozen of Andrew Cuomo’s bespoke undershirts emblazoned with “Born To Be A Bad Mafioso!”

Rare VHS of a little-known appearance by CNN White House correspondent Jim Acosta in a Washington DC Community Theater production of “An Enemy of the People.”

Elizabeth Warren autographed sweat lodge tokens, garnered from her period servicing “underserved” braves on the Whippiitup Reservation.

Special offering! A truly unique Michael Moore truss, fabricated from the elephantine cast made of Dumbo’s hind quarters. You will not find this on any other site!

Alexandria Ocasio-Ortez’s new video---banned by YouTube--- “Cool Things To Do at Lesbo-Democratic-Socialist Nudie Agenda Parties.” Rumored to have been done in ‘colabia-ation’ with Cynthia Nixon. Yeah, those New York chicks certainly stick together.

Multi-color posters from the duo of Bill DeBlasio and Maxine Waters, presenting their bi-coastal ethos of self-righteousness, sloth, quarrelsomeness, violence, lawlessness, resentment, self-indulgence, and dependency.

Bernie Sanders’ latest pamphlet “How to Revive Flattened Gonads by Smoking Ground-up Vermont Organic Toadstools.” Truly a MUST-HAVE for withered Socialist old farts!

A ‘Can’t-Be-Without” for those who cherish secular-progressive sacramental relics are these mummified skin remnants from Nancy Pelosi’s countless face lifts. Be the first to score these sacerdotal rarities!

So, don’t delay! Get on-line now and snatch up these beauties! Show your solidarity with the community of the purely virtuous! Buy Today!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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