EastEnders Pair Are The Best Of Friends Offscreen

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 8 July 2018


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It's been reported that the onscreen rivalry between EastEnders actors Adam Woodyatt and Steve McFadden, who play Ian Beale and Phil Mitchell respectively, could not be further from the truth, and the two are the best of friends when filming is over.

The pair, who have enjoyed an onscreen mutual hatred since they first clapped eyes on each other in the series back in 1990, say there is none of the show's animosity in real life, and they are to be found together regularly outside of work. Said Woodyatt:

"Me and Steve are really good mates in real life. We're constantly ringing each other with news and gossip, and we sometimes meet up for a beer and a game of darts on a Friday night. We're like two peas in a pod!"

McFadden confirmed this:

"I don't know why he's said that. I fucking hate the cunt. It's true I often ring him, but it's always in the early hours, and I do it to issue death threats more than anything else. I did meet him in a pub once on a Friday night, but it was completely by accident. I'd gone for a little 'tinkle', and there he was, Ian Beale, cowering in a corner, crying like a baby, "Please, Phil, don't!". I thought about stabbing him with me darts, but I just put me Phil Mitchell face on, and shoved his muppet head down the bog - again! What a nonce!"

Ross Kemp was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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