Where are they now? Keith Chegwin's Penis

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Tuesday, 31 July 2018


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No Keith, it's not allowed out tonight

Go on, admit it. You know you did, but you don't want anyone to know. You are one of the millions who tuned into the Naked Jungle in June 2000 just to have a butcher's at cheeky chappy Cheggers' little winkle.

You weren't disappointed. There he was just like a man-baby, not a hair in sight, so cute, with his little pink chubby body and his tiny baby willy. Heart warming. Keith later said it was the worst thing he ever did, but we know better, don't we?

The Independent Television Commission (ITC) later claimed that it had received only one complaint about the show from a viewer complaining that he could "do without Keith Chegwin prancing around". An ITC spokesman said in response that unfortunately there was no guideline against Keith Chegwin being on television.

You loved him, we loved him and so did Maggie Philbin, who in later life reinvented herself as a TV science presenter and journalist. Maggie loved Keith so much she kept his little pink dickie dido locked up in a jewel box beside her bed, only unleashing it for use when Keith had been a good boy. Unfortunately for Cheggers, that wasn't very often.

Today, after Keith's passing, rumour has it that Maggie still keeps her memento of Cheggers and kisses it goodnight before she goes to bed.

Aaaah! True love never dies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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