Baseball's Next 300 Game Winner... Should Retire at 299

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 13 July 2018

As major league baseball pauses for its annual All Star break, let's also pause to wonder who's the next 300 game winner, or will there ever be another one?

My advice to the two pitchers closest to that mark - Bartolo Colon of the Rangers [245] and C C Sabathia of the Yankees [243], is the same as it was to the last 300 game winner, Randy Johnson in 2009 [303]: retire at 299, one game short of those magical 300 wins.

Neither Colon or Sabathia is likely to reach 300 because of their ages, but if they approach it my advice still holds. Quit at 299.
By retiring one short of 300, a pitcher will assure his unique place in the record book. Win 300-plus and in a few years no one will remember you are on that list. Quit at 299 and you'll never be forgotten. There are two pitchers already at 300, but no one at 299.

No one could come closer to winning 300 without doing it. You'll forever be a trivia answer. Your name will stand out as the first one below the 300 mark instead of being lost somewhere between 300 and 350. Baseball statistics junkies will assume you were injured or wore out your arm trying for that elusive 300th win. They'll all empathize with you. Win 300 and you become a cipher.

So Bartolo and CC, if you get that close, take my advice. Stop at 299, and for decades sports writers, on a slow day, will write maudlin columns about the possibility of an old guy, at sixty or seventy, making a potential comeback for one last win.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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